Hi,

All right, so I'm your typical guy who has his head full of images from movies where girls always meet their guy and they both instantly fall in love and everyone is happily ever after.

This girl and I met about month ago and we hang out a lot. I really, really like her and in the beginning it seemed we were kind of dating but it seems now that we're being friends. Not that I have a problem with this, I think I've read elsewhere that the best relationships are built on friendship. I guess since I am feeling a bit insecure because I very much want to go to the next step but I don't feel it's time yet. Sometimes I feel like she wants to too, but then sometimes I don't. I'm terrible at reading signals. ;)

Can some women out there provide some insight on women and guys that are friends? I don't want to rush things and I really think it's my brain and impatience that's making me worry that there might be something wrong. Guy opinions are welcome too, of course.

We are both above the age of 21.

Thanks for any responses!

These things take time. Be patient and let nature take its course. It may (and probably will) take a while. If you start to become pushy and give off signals that you're needy or desperate, that'll push her away for sure.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Haplo

Hi,

Alright, so I'm your typical guy who has his head full of images from movies where girls always meet their guy and they both instantly fall in love and everyone is happily ever after.

This girl and I met about month ago and we hang out a lot. I really, really like her and in the beginning it seemed we were kind of dating but it seems now that we're being friends. Not that I have a problem with this, I think I've read elsewhere that the best relationships are built on friendship. I guess since I am feeling a bit insecure because I very much want to go to the next step but I don't feel it's time yet. Sometimes I feel like she wants to too, but then sometimes I don't. I'm terrible at reading signals. ;)

Can some women out there provide some insight on women and guys that are friends? I don't want to rush things and I really think it's my brain and impatience that's making me worry that there might be something wrong. Guy opinions are welcome too, of course.

We are both above the age of 21.

Thanks for any responses!

---

The friend zone is a bad place to be if you don't want to be there. Once you're classified into that category it's very difficult to break out of. First you need to determine if it's worth it to you to risk the friendship to pursue the relationship. It's not a win or lose situation, but there is a risk of losing the friend and girlfriend in one shot. But yea, s_cianci is right. Women are awesome at picking up signals, send the wrong ones and it will ruin your weekend.

Relationship without friendship is shallow. Period.

It's not that I don't want a friendship (quite the opposite, in fact, I love our friendship), I guess I didn't state what I was trying to figure out very clearly.

Basically, I've never really dated. Where I grew up, if you were with someone they were your girlfriend. So now I'm "dating" this girl and it's fantastic and turning into such a great relationship. I just sort of worry if this is how dating works. You spend a lot of time together getting to know each other and such and then it sort of blossoms into a relationship? That's what I'm hoping anyway. I apologize for not being so articulate the first time around. ;)

Relationships always take time. And depending on the person its with, the time may take longer than others.
Give her space and just relaxe. Don't go jumping at her wanting a relationship.
My HUbby and I started as friends. I had a huge thing for him and I got upset at first when I asked him if he'd ever be ready for a relationship, as we had begun our friendship after a harsh break up he had with an ex. He didn't want a relationship at the time. I felt hopeless. We'll I told me self " it's not his fault he Isn't ready yet!" So, I just let it go and enjoyed the freindship. We became connected at the wrists, we were together every single day hanging out, walkinga round town, inviting each other over for dinner, and just playing around at the park, This lasted for months.
Well one night I kissed him on the cheeck.
( I'm not saying you need ot do this) After that he seemed more insterested. A few days after that he asked me out.
He had liked me the entire time, but was afraid to get into a relationship as he was afraid I'd end up hurting him
As soon as he realised I wanted to better him, rather than rip his heart out, he let it go and gave me a chance. We've been together for 4 years and we're both as happy as ever.
=]
What I'm trying to say, is enjoy your friendship while it presents itself. Have fun times, give each other laughs and just be downright best buds. When you're both ready, the time will come for a relationship.
I promise.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by nicespringgirl

Relationship without friendship is shallow. Period.

---

That isn't what he is talking about, he is talking about how can he get the girl to return his feelings and how to get her to acknowledge his love for her.



Honestly all I think of for you man is just try and spend lots of time with her alone, even if it is as a friend. If she is right for you she will come around and feel the same way after spending time alone with you.

Haplo- No problem, always here to help you bud!
A friend in need is a friend indeed! =D Good luck with her!