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-   -   He never talks (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=112052)

  • Jul 21, 2007, 08:39 AM
    woh337
    He never talks
    Hi there,

    I have this guy friend, we have known each other about 3 years at college.

    He doesn't talk much, but he loves to do hw with me and have lunch with me.

    BUT he doesn't talk much to me, all he did was like ask me if I want to get to lucn together or dinner together, I said sure, then we went to dinning hall at school, just eat, he never talks much during our lunch or dinner.

    I mean, okay, if we are just friends then we should talk to each other, right?
    I am nost sure if he is intersted in me or not? My friend said he liked me, but then he doesn't talk? :confused:

    Let me put it this way:(at lunch)

    He: How is your day?
    Me: Great, blah... and yours?
    He: It's good.
    He: what classes are you taking?
    Me: Chemistry, maths, spanish...
    He:...
    (no more questions for me!)
    Then I try to talk to him, he always has short answers or just smile a bit.

    I mean, the same questions he has asked miliions of times: what classes are you taking? :p

    OMG, LOL. I just don't get it. He text me last night about 11:00pm asking me what was I doing? LOL:D

    What can I do with this guy?:confused:
  • Jul 21, 2007, 08:48 AM
    excon
    Hello woh:

    He likes you. Maybe he's just not much of a talker. Lots of guys aren't. He probably wants you to make the first move. Do it. What have you got to lose?

    excon
  • Jul 21, 2007, 08:59 AM
    woh337
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by excon
    Hello woh:

    He likes you. Maybe he's just not much of a talker. Lots of guys aren't. He probably wants you to make the first move. Do it. What have you got to lose?

    excon

    I'd like to make the fisrt move, but I am a little bit confused about if he is interested in me or not. He doesn't want to know anything about me, seems like?
    For 3 years, man, all he asked was" what classes are you taking?":confused: I did make a move, I asked him about his past relationship and his family what he going to do after he graduates... blah, blah.
    He seems like to spend time with me, I think he is a very good person too.
    Once I went to his room to get the notes from my class I saw several hot women(movie starts) pics hung on his wall... is that creepy? He doesn't even show that he has an interest on women, but he has those pics!! :eek:

    Okay he wants to hang out with me now, what should we do since he doesn't talk much? Dinner or movie? Is movie proper for just regular friends? But he doesn't talk, movie is a good fit for him!
  • Jul 21, 2007, 09:00 AM
    talaniman
    If you know he is a man of few words then its up to you to vocalise your questions to get what's on his mind.
  • Jul 21, 2007, 09:05 AM
    woh337
    Heheheh, I just want to see what can he ask this time? We are out of school now, no more classes, see what he can ask? Haha, LOL. I hear you, I kind of like his type, but he seems doesn't want to know me though?
  • Jul 21, 2007, 09:10 AM
    huno
    Well, I can relate to him... sometimes it's hard to make conversation, especially if he's not the talkative type. A lot of people are not good at coming up with new things to talk about (conversely, there are a lot of people who won't shut up... :P).

    My guess is that he's not good at generating his own conversation. He probably doesn't know what to ask and can't think of interesting things to say. You might have to help him out: ask him how he's doing, what he did that day, what he likes to do, etc.
  • Jul 21, 2007, 09:16 AM
    excon
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by woh337
    I'd like to make the first move, but I am a lil bit confused about if he is interested in me or not.

    Hello again, woh:

    That's why I suggested what I did. I understand your confusion. It's quite normal. So, the reason YOU make the first move is to CLAIRIFY the situation. Somebody HAS to do it. If he won't, you're the only one left.

    But, once the situation is clarified, you'll know exactly what to do from here on out. I've never met a chick who didn't. A relationship that is, and REMAINS clarified, is one that CAN last.

    So girl, reach over and stroke him on the cheek.

    excon
  • Jul 21, 2007, 09:22 AM
    woh337
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by excon
    Hello again, woh:

    That's why I suggested what I did. I understand your confusion. It's quite normal. So, the reason YOU make the first move is to CLAIRIFY the situation. Somebody HAS to do it. If he won't, you're the only one left.

    But, once the situation is clarified, you'll know exactly what to do from here on out. I've never met a chick who didn't. A relationship that is, and REMAINS clarified, is one that CAN last.

    So girl, reach over and stroke him on the cheek.

    excon

    Make great sense to me!:) Hm... what should I ask to clarify if he is interested in me or not?:rolleyes: how do I know if he likes me or not?
    I can't really tell though, seems like he has no emotion... :eek:
  • Jul 21, 2007, 09:33 AM
    excon
    Hello again:

    Girl!! We've already established that talking isn't his thing. If he's interested in you, when you reach out (however you feel comfortable doing it) you'll KNOW. If he doesn't grab you and proceed to make wild love to you, the situation will be CLAIRIFIED - maybe not to your liking, but it WILL be clarified.

    excon
  • Jul 21, 2007, 09:46 AM
    woh337
    LOL, I am lacking of dating experience too( a shy girl), it will freak me out if he grabs me, I think.
    Oh by the way if a guy put his hand across my shoulder for over 2 minutes, wanting to take a pic with me what does that mean? ( a guy friend I have known for half a year) he doesn't talk either... ^^:
    Sorry I can never tell if a guy is interested in me or not.^^:
  • Jul 21, 2007, 09:56 AM
    excon
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by woh337
    LOL, I am lacking of dating experience too( a shy girl), it will freak me out if he grabs me, I think.

    Hello again:

    Or, it WON'T!

    excon
  • Jul 21, 2007, 10:47 AM
    nicespringgirl
    LOL, I love your post!
    "what classes are you taking?"
    LOL, what a funny guy!
    I thin he likes you but u guys are just getting nowhere right now, go hang out with him
  • Jul 21, 2007, 11:26 AM
    E12191G
    Well, if you want to know the fast way then I suggest you just ask him if he likes you. Or as why he's quiet with you. But it can be that he's just a quiet person. I am a quiet person myself and tend to not talk too much sometimes. Ill want to do something with someone and I can be quiet. Its not that I'm not interested its just I don't know what to say. So maybe you should take matters into your hands and you should keep the conversation going but asking him questions. Not just short answer question. Like long answer questions like what are you doing to day/tomaorw/this weekend etc. or maybe ask him about his family (how many bros + sisters?)
  • Jul 21, 2007, 12:53 PM
    amnjut4ever
    Well I'll tell you this. There was this guy in youth that I liked and everyone said that he liked me so about 4 months of liking each other but hardly ever talking he asked me out. So we went to eat and he didn't talk I tried to start a conversation with him but he wouldn't talk at all. So then he dropped me off at home after we got done at the movies. And again he still never talked to me and he didn't touch me or walk me to my door... nothing. So then we talked at church Sunday but not much and then I called him the next Friday night and still we went out but he didn't talk and I was going to stop seeing him because of it but after we hung out more and we were boyfriend and girlfriend everything was great we have been together for a year and a half and things are going wonderful we are getting married soon and now I can't get him to shut up... haha... just hang in there hopefully he will come around. You can always talk to him about it and ask him why he never talks that's what I did.
  • Jul 21, 2007, 01:02 PM
    nicespringgirl
    What a beautiful story! Thank you for sharing this with us!
    I understand Woh337's concern, but I agree with you, def. go handing out more, then things will come along!:)
  • Jul 21, 2007, 02:53 PM
    ordinaryguy
    My mother used to say, "It's better to keep your mouth shut and be judged a fool than to open it and remove all doubt". I've also heard it said, "You'll never have to apologize for something you didn't say". He may be smarter than you think.
  • Jul 21, 2007, 06:53 PM
    s_cianci
    He probably is interested in you. It sounds as if his conversational skills are not that great. You may have to be the one to draw him out, so to speak.
  • Jul 21, 2007, 08:40 PM
    yoitzlisa
    He might be just a bit shy. Or just more of a listener. But he definitely likes you, He probably just needs some more confidence in himself. Maybe he thinks you won't like him? Maybe he thinks you're too good for him? Keep talking to him though, and get to know him more and see what happens.
  • Jul 3, 2008, 08:47 AM
    debbiedaniel81
    ~Hi Woh

    The guy you meet for lunch is definitely into you. He may not talk much but I'm sure that once you are in a relationshilp (if you want one with him that is) he will open up.

    I have been with my boyfriend for nearly 8 years and sometimes I have to struggle to get a word out of him, but at other time I can't shut him up. When we first met he hardly spoke at all. I say give the guy a chance, you may just have to break the communication barrier to get a conversation out of himfirst.

    Hope all goes well.

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