I was born in N. Hollywood, Ca in February 22, 1974. My mother claims the father wanted no part of me. She met my "new father" before I was born and they were married 1 year later. Now I am confused how they were able to get his name on the birth certificate and not the actual birth father. Any ways, she refuses to tell me anything and has the entire family sworn to secrecy. It is totally insane. I even had a child with a missing chromosone and she absolutely refused to tell me anything.
Anyway, I know absolutely nothing. I don't even think she got pregnant in CA. I think it may have been in Minn. Or ND? Does anyone have any ideas?

tuff1sissy

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Originally Posted by tuff1sissy

I was born in N. Hollywood, Ca in February 22, 1974. My mother claims the father wanted no part of me. She met my "new father" before I was born and they were married 1 year later. Now I am confused how they were able to get his name on the birth certificate and not the actual birth father. Any ways, she refuses to tell me anything and has the entire family sworn to secrecy. It is totally insane. I even had a child with a missing chromosone and she absolutely refused to tell me anything.
Anyways, I know absolutely nothing. I dont even think she got pregnant in CA. I think it may have been in Minn. or ND? Does anyone have any ideas?

tuff1sissy

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That is jacked up. You are very brave to even want to know your father after so long. I don't know what to tell you and don't know what you believe in but my parent, They hurt me so bad growing up I almost wished I've never met them. I'm not angry anymore at them and have forgiving them for being dead beats.llol, but I use to be an atheist. I gave my life to God because I had no where else to look toward. God has made me be grateful for allowing me to live and live nicely as a young woman. I look back at all the hell my parents put my bros and sis's and I as kids and am thankful to be alive

God has been a Father to me above anything I've ever imagined. My dad is so selfish and concerned in his own business that when he does call me,which is very seldom, its always about him. Then he tries to belittle me. Maybe its not meant for you to know who your real dad is. Maybe something bad happened to your mother and she doesn't want to tell you. I don't know. But even with you not at least knowing its got to be tough. Hell, its tough to believe that my parents mistreated us all of our lives but that's my reality not yours. If

I were you and if I had a child, I would just be there for my child full force and move toward a very very happy life with God. Even though its tough times, you'll get through easier knowing that Jesus paved a way for you and it's for your good.

Well for course your "father" is the wonderful man who raised you as his own, took the love and caring to raise you, be there when you cryed, be there at birthday parties, at first date and so on.

To him you should always give all the love of what a father is.

Now you have a sperm donor who ran off and hurt your mother, and she is wanting to protect you from this jerk. Sounds like a smart move to me, since obviously he wanted no part of you or your mothers life.

For the birth certificate, it happened one of two ways, 1. at your birth he merely claimed to be the father and signed the birth certificate, happens every day, some men not knowing the truth, others wanted to be there for the mother and child. The other, they had a court hearing, took away all of the rights of the sperm donor, ( who most likely did not show up) and they allowed your father to adopt you, which then issues a new birth certificate that looks just like you were really born to him.

** I was adopted some years after my birth, but my birth certificate looks just like my adopted parents are my birth parents,

And of course there are other possibilities, you mom could have been wild and does not know who the father was, or she could have been raped and does not want anyone to know. There are all sorts of "what ifs"

I would say that without her telling you, you will never know, and of course in the long term of things, it does not matter, and we go on with life loving the real father who raised you.

Is there any way that you can even get a past history on your mothers side and even find addresses that she lived at around the time that you were born to possibly find out if there is any record that could possibly show your father? I would keep pressing her until you get the name. The way I got my Fathers real name is snooping through my Mom's stuff until I found a birth certificate that Had my real Father's name on it. I have been looking for my Dad since I was 13. I have not seen him since I was 2 that was almost 25 years ago as I'm 27 now. Even with the name Arthur Nelson Severance, his birthdate, August 1st, 1950, And his birthplace Lynn, MA I'm having problems finding his phone number or anything up to date on him so I'm still at a loss. I wish you the best of luck on finding out your father's name. There has got to be a way to get his name out of your Mother. Maybe get her drunk and ask her his name then. I'll try to think of something to help you get a name out of her as it is your right to know who your father is. But never give up. Persistence is the key to finding your birth father.

Find a friend that is not a friend to your mother now. That was a friend back then maybe one of your mom's old friends that has not associated with your mom for a while. Try to get ahold of them and see if they will talk that is another idea. Just got to figure out who was around your mom around the time that you were conceived. Maybe even a room mate at that time. Keep trying just like I am. Keep me updated on what happens I would like to know. Always remember GOD loves us all. Take care. Nelson