Ask Me Help Desk - Baby won't nap

Baby won't nap

I have a 15 week old daughter who fights every nap. I have put her on a scheduled feed/ wake/ nap routine. All is fine except the naptime. She will cry for as long as I let her. I have tried the 15-20 minutes, check on her, no gas, clean diaper, etc. I unually have to end up holding her close to me almost feeling like I'm pinning her to me so she will stop fighting it and give in, then when I go to lay her down, it starts all over again. She is in her crib, which she will go right to sleep in at bedtime. In a cool, dark quiet room. When she finally does sleep its usually only for a half hour and then she's wide awake again. Because she fights her naps, about 8pm she is so sleepy she falls right to sleep, but of course is usually up aroung 2 am. Help! I could use some advice.

Are you bottle or breast feeding?

Have you tried using a swing or oscillating chair? There were times when my son was an infant where we either had to rock him or drive him to sleep. The oscillating chair was amazing. I would also swaddle her up nice and warm, it may just be she misses the warmth.

Does she spit up a lot? My nieces baby had gerd and this is how he acted.

Quote:

Originally Posted by maddy1

i have a 15 week old daughter who fights every nap. i have put her on a scheduled feed/ wake/ nap routine. all is fine except the naptime. she will cry for as long as i let her. i have tried the 15-20 minutes, check on her, no gas, clean diaper, etc. i unually have to end up holding her close to me almost feeling like im pinning her to me so she will stop fighting it and give in, then when i go to lay her down, it starts all over again. she is in her crib, which she will go right to sleep in at bedtime. in a cool, dark quiet room. when she finally does sleep its usually only for a half hour and then shes wide awake again. because she fights her naps, about 8pm she is so sleepy she falls right to sleep, but of course is usually up aroung 2 am. help!! i could use some advice.

I am bottle feeding.
And have tried a swing, bouncer, vibrating bouncer, she even fights sleep in the car.
When she ever does fall asleep in any of the previous, she still wakes before actually getting any sleep.

As we can clearly see, the adage "sleeping like a baby" just isn't true.

Some babies are good sleepers, others aren't.

Have you increased her formula? Could she still be hungry?

Is feeding time peaceful and relaxing? Is she possibly over stimulated prior to being put down?

If she is healthy and there are no medical problems causing this i.e. reflux, colic, etc... It may be time to just let her cry it out. As "painful" as that can be for us parents, sometimes we just have to suffer short term until they get the idea.

My son suffered from reflux as an infant, and so it was slightly different, but Try switching her to a soy based formula and maybe add an ounce or so. My son always drank more tha than the books said. Also I would look into which bottles you are using. I know you said it may not be gas, but it could be reflux or gerd, and the type of formula and bottle you use can make a difference. My son was actually put on medication for his reflux, but we finally ended up switching to a bottle that helped prevent the gas..

My son had reflux and was put on a special reflux formula, although his was diagnosed at birth.

Have you discussed this with your pediatrician? There could be a wide variety of reasons she is doing this, and some may be medical. Medical should be ruled out first.

Also, the gas drops will not work on a baby with gerd or reflux, and it will be a different kind of pain, so the legs may not shoot out. It is like a heartburn almost... and there is lots of spitting up.. I agree with J-9, discuss with your ped. And see what he says.

She is on soy now, and I have upped her ozs. Switched her bottles.she will worm her way out of a swaddle. Has since about when I brought her home. She will sometimes spit up some, but from dealing with other babies, not abnormally. No reflux or gerd. Keeping her waketime semi quiet. And make sure we wind down before I try to put her down. Thanks for all your input. I guess I'm on the right road in regards to what I've been trying.

Few questions:
1. How often is she eating?
2. How long does she eat for?
3. How long is she awake after she eats/how long after she finishes eating do you try to lay her down for her nap?
4. How many feedings does she have in a day?
5. When she does sleep, how long is she sleeping for?

1. She's eating about every 3-4 hours.
2. avg. 1/2 an hour
3. about an hour 1/2 to 2 hours. She lets me know she's tired, and will usually fall asleep in my arms after a little bit of fussing. She will sleep in my arms for hours. I have been putting her in her crib before she falls asleep, but after I have calmed her down. And then she cries, falls asleep and is up in 10 minutes, smiles, wide awake.
4. 6-7
5. max 2 hours, and that is rare! And usually on me. 6-7 hours at a time overnite.

Quote:

Originally Posted by maddy1

will usually fall asleep in my arms after a little bit of fussing. she will sleep in my arms for hours.

You have successfully been manipulated. :p

She knows that you will pick her up and hold her. Let the crying games begin. This will only get worse, not better, unless you handle it now. Put her in her bed, let her cry. Go in 10 minutes later, rub her back for a minute, then leave. You will have to do this repeatedly, each time letting her cry a little longer. But she will eventually learn that she has to sleep in her bed, not your arms.

Yes, she has become accustomed to sleeping with you.

The other problem may be in her schedule. Try this and allow 3-5 days for her to adjust to it.
For a 3 hour feeding schedule:
Let's say her first feeding is at (the first feeding can be different and will set the schedule for the day just follow the eat/wake/sleep times accordingly from the first feeding)
7:00 am - 7:30 she eats
7:30 - 8:30 am awake time
8:30 - 10:00 am she naps
10:00 - 10:30 am she eats
Repeat the schedule with her last feeding being at 7 pm and bed time at 8:30 pm. You could give one last feeding at 10:00 pm if she needs it but then no awake time just straight to bed for the night.

She should have between 5 and 7 feedings in a day
The last 1 - 1 1/2 hours of her schedule should be napping
And nighttime sleep should be up to 11 hours.
Her current awake time, even though quiet, could very well be causing her to be a hyperalert baby. An hour and a half to two hours awake is too much for her. She is becoming over tired and therefor can not settle herself back down for sleep. Hence, voilà! Mommy has to do it for her in her arms. Do not hold her to sleep. Like J_9 says put her in her bed when it is nap time. When she cries do not pick her up, I would wait 15-20 minutes then go in and pat her back, whisper to her that you are there and tell her it is "night night time now", just for a minute or two then leave.

My son did all this (p.s. he is my 6th baby and I never had to "schedule" any of my others but they are each different) and I found that this schedule worked beautifully. He slept, I didn't have to hold him to get him to sleep and he woke up happy and hungry. I LOVED holding my son to sleep but I was the only one he'd be comforted by, the swing didn't work, the bouncy seat didn't work... nothing, just me. I either had to hold him to sleep and like you if I put him down, he was awake and he seemed starving, so back to the breast he went. I never got anything done and he was snacking on me constantly because there wasn't enough time between feedings. But I tried this and he slept well and didn't seem to be starving all the time. He is now 2 years old and when I put him in bed for his nap or bed time he goes right to sleep. At the very most, he will fuss for only 5 minutes (usually only at nap time), if that. And he sleeps through the night without waking up.

If you want to have her on a 4 hour feeding schedule the concept is the same just make sure the last 2 to 2 1/2 hours of the awake time is if for napping. The schedule starts at the beginning of a feeding to the start of the next feeding. So, 7 am to 10 am is a 3 hour schedule and 7 am to 11 am would be a four hour schedule.

Since she seems to maybe have an issue of being hyperalert, I would always adjust the nap time to be longer rather than adjusting the awake time to be longer (when spreading the feeding times out longer). If she still continues to have a problem settling herself to sleep shorten the awake time by 15 minutes.

Since she is starting this at 15 weeks (late 3 early 4 months old?), when she hits about 6 months old she should then move to a 4-6 per day liquid feeding schedule and take 3 two hour naps a day and nighttime sleep should average between 10-12 hours.

I would say somewhere between 8 and 9 months old she would then drop the late-afternoon/early-evening nap, leaving two nap times. One in the morning and one in the afternoon lasting anywhere from 1 1/2 - 2 hours.

I hope this helps. Let us know!

Welcome to being a first time mom. I was minipulated now as I was then. It does get better!

OK, its been a couple days and the schedule is slowly working already. Less crying, longer naps. Some are hit or miss. 45 min. or so, and there is no getting her back to sleep. But for the most part... YEAH!
Much happier baby and mommy.
Now if she would just sleep through the night, still only on avg, 7 hours. Feeding and back to sleep.
Thanks so much to all!
You'll probably be hearing from me again.

7 hours what a lucky mommy

So glad to hear it :) 7 hours isn't bad at all and will probably get longer and longer with time. It's great to hear the update. Keep us posted. Blessings!

Great progress!! Keep us posted!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by maddy1

i have a 15 week old daughter who fights every nap. i have put her on a scheduled feed/ wake/ nap routine. all is fine except the naptime. she will cry for as long as i let her. i have tried the 15-20 minutes, check on her, no gas, clean diaper, etc. i unually have to end up holding her close to me almost feeling like im pinning her to me so she will stop fighting it and give in, then when i go to lay her down, it starts all over again. she is in her crib, which she will go right to sleep in at bedtime. in a cool, dark quiet room. when she finally does sleep its usually only for a half hour and then shes wide awake again. because she fights her naps, about 8pm she is so sleepy she falls right to sleep, but of course is usually up aroung 2 am. help!! i could use some advice.

What may help is when she does go to sleep for the night wake her up in the morning about a half a hour before she regulary gets up this will at least tell you that she will be tired but don't put her to bed early that will just change her sleeping times and she will get up earlyer and no pairent wants that try to keep her on a regular time to sleep try your best to keep her awake at night aslong as you can even if she gets fussy but after a cupple weeks this should change her sleeping time and instead of getting so tired at night she will get tired in midday she will at least take a nap once a day