I'm 19 years old and have been married for 11 moths. I've been having sex for almost two years now, and I've never had an orgasm. In fact, I don't get any feeling at all. When my husband and I are having sex, I don't really get any pleasure out of it. It's like if he's the only one getting pleasure. Yeah, it will feel good sometimes, but the feeling just stays at the same level the whole time. He's gone down on me, and fingered me and everything, but nothing happens. I do enjoy it when we do all of this, but I want to feel something more. And for some reason I find it hard to get wet. We have trouble sometimes because I'm never really wet. I feel that maybe I don't get wet because my husband doesn't really do anything to me to get me in the mood. He just touches or kisses me for a minute or two, and then he wants to do it. I feel like he doesn't give me enough time, or that even he doesn't do anything to really turn me on. I don't know what it is...

You need to relax, first of all.

Secondly... he has to be willing to take the time to put you in the mood... a LOT of foreplay is required for many women!

Try to set aside time with him where it's all about YOU, and what feels good to YOU.

How well do you know your own body? Do you masturbate? Can you have an orgasm from masturbating? Do you find that you using a toy on yourself helps you to orgasm. I ask all of these questions for your information, because if you don't know about your own body how is your husband going to know. If you do know what make you feel good for yourself you need to transfer that knowledge to him, either by showing him or by telling him.
About the time thing, he needs to spend more time preparing you for sex, you say he fingers you and that he has gone down on you, I hope it was for more than just a couple of minutes.

One of the sexiest things I know about a female it one that knows what she wants and is not afraid to do any thing to get it. Good luck.

Like let me tell you said if you have masturbated then you can orgasm. You simply have to figrure out a way to explain to you husband how to make you have an orgasm. Sometimes you have to lead us to the pastures. I'm sure the poor guy wants to please you. Tell him what you need.

Some people can not orgasm during just a little foreplay or during intercoarse, I would try getting a vibrator and stimulating your clitorus with it and even using it while having sex, your husband will love it :) That is the only thing that works for my husband and me... Good Luck :)

If you need more foreplay you need to ask for it. no... its no fun being a traffic cop in bed, but sometimes you need to demand what you want to get it. He will catch on if he's any kind of gracious lover.

I second the idea of self stimulation. Can you get yourself off at all?

I dated one girl who could almost always get off if she stimulated herself with her fingers while I was in her. It was money in the bank. And once I knew what she needed, I could do it for her most of the time.

So... do you know what you need? Can you get yourself off? Can you get yourself wet? If not... then that's part of the problem. It could be mental. It could be physical. But you cannot expect a man, especially when younger, to know exactly what you need if you don't know yourself.

I've found that, at least in my experience, a woman's body can be more complex and demanding than a mans. What worked wonders for one woman did absolutely nothing for the next. One girl I couldn't get off orally if I spend all night trying different things, another one I could get off much of the time orally. One never, ever got off missionary but did like it on top, another loved missionary with a little extra stimulation added in.

So... start with yourself. Own it first. What do you like? What do you want? What gets you wet? What gets you off? Can you do it yourself?

Some of the best "tricks" I've told my partner to do to me were ones I discovered along the way by self stimulation. Its just the truth.

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Originally Posted by angiegirl88

im 19 years old and have been married for 11 moths. I've been having sex for almost two years now, and i've never had an orgasm. in fact, i don't get any feeling at all. When my husband and i are having sex, i don't really get any pleasure out of it. It's like if he's the only one getting pleasure. yeah, it will feel good sometimes, but the feeling just stays at the same level the whole time. He's gone down on me, and fingered me and everything, but nothing happens. I do enjoy it when we do all of this, but i want to feel something more. and for some reason i find it hard to get wet. we have trouble sometimes because im never really wet. i feel that maybe i dont get wet because my husband doesn't really do anything to me to get me in the mood. he just touches or kisses me for a minute or two, and then he wants to do it. i feel like he doesn't give me enough time, or that even he doesn't do anything to really turn me on. i don't know what it is.....

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You answered your own question. Moods are important and it takes some work. Sounds like a lazy kid to me.