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-   Pregnancy & New Motherhood (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forumdisplay.php?f=262)
-   -   Unplanned pregnancy (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=110846)

  • Jul 17, 2007, 01:34 PM
    smcalles
    Unplanned pregnancy
    I took a home pregnancy test Friday and found out I am pregnant. I am 26 years old and it is completely unplanned. Me and my boyfriend have been together 5 years. I am stll personally undecided on what to do. When I asked my boyfriend what he was thinking about our situation, he starting getting upset and yelling at me that he wasn't going to give his opinion until we went to the doctors on Wednesday. I asked why, and he screamed that there's no reason to start talking about it until we have confirmed the pregnancy and how far along I am. He is 33 and is always talking about having a family one day. But I swear, he has never spoken to me like that before. Never. I am offended by how he spoke to me. So out of character for him. I have felt his distance in the last couple of days, and avoidance of the subject. I don't know what to do. I don't want to bring this baby if that's what I choose to do, into a bad situation, especially now that I am seeing this unfamiliar side of him which truly scared me. What do I do?:confused:
  • Jul 17, 2007, 01:39 PM
    Squiffy
    Men can freak out when their partner tells them of an unexpected pregnancy. Most of the time, from my experience, they cool off after a while, and are the most smitten dads when the baby is born. When I fell pregnant with my youngest son my then husband hit the roof, accused me of cheating on him, said the baby wasn't his, and we never spoke of the pregnancy until I was around 6 months gone! Now he adores our son. Its usually just shock, you need to discuss it with him, but not necessarily straight away, give him time to come to terms with the pregnancy, and yourself time too, and then decide what you want to do. Good luck.
  • Jul 17, 2007, 01:39 PM
    danielnoahsmommy
    He is scared and nervous, please give him a chance
  • Jul 17, 2007, 03:21 PM
    boymom2121
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by smcalles
    i took a home pregnancy test friday and found out i am pregnant. i am 26 years old and it is completely unplanned. me and my boyfriend have been together 5 years. i am stll personally undecided on what to do. when i asked my boyfriend what he was thinking about our situation, he starting getting upset and yelling at me that he wasnt going to give his opinion until we went to the doctors on wednesday. i asked why, and he screamed that theres no reason to start talking about it until we have confirmed the pregnancy and how far along i am. he is 33 and is always talking about having a family one day. but i swear, he has never spoken to me like that before. never. i am offended by how he spoke to me. so out of character for him. i have felt his distance in the last couple of days, and avoidance of the subject. i dont know what to do. i dont want to bring this baby if thats what i choose to do, into a bad situation, especially now that i am seeing this unfamiliar side of him which truly scared me. what do i do?:confused:

    I hope I am not too late. I was in the same situation at 26. My boyfriend and I had only been together for 3 years, but known each other for 5. We were both frantic... he felt that we should wait until the doctor appt to discuss, as well. I think because guys don't obsess and educate themselves as much about pregnancy and female issues, they tend to need more hardcore evidence. After much crying, talking and planning, we decided to get married. I was five months pregnant and honestly do not think anything other than that baby got me down the aisle, as I was always so scared of marriage. Anyway, it will be five years of marriage for us this August. They have been the most difficult yet rewarding years of my life. I love my husband more today than ever, but it has not been easy. More importantly, I could not imagine my life without my son. He is the absolute center of our/my universe. I believe you do need to make this decision on your own. If your boyfriend isn't interested in talking about it, then he doesn't need to be involved and should be taken out of the equation. This is a baby and you guys are doomed if you don't have it... there will be bitterness and hurt. So, please if he is not interested... think of how much you could regret it... I never thought I would have children... but this child has changed me... he is the most wonderful thing in the world. I have learned more about myself and my body and the world. Please write to me and let me know what you are thinking.

    No judgement.

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