Ask Me Help Desk

Ask Me Help Desk (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forum.php)
-   Adult Sexuality (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forumdisplay.php?f=370)
-   -   After five years he tells me NO MORE sex (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=110624)

  • Jul 16, 2007, 07:59 PM
    denisa3503
    After five years he tells me NO MORE sex
    Ok me and my boyfriend have been going out five years. We started having sex 6 months liter. Now after 5 years he tells me that we should whet till we get marred. BC having sex before marriage is agent are religion. So is that normal or he just need some series help?
  • Jul 16, 2007, 08:14 PM
    denisa3503
    No more sex
    Ok me and my boyfriend have been going out fore five years. We started having sex like 6 months leter. Now after 5 years he tells me that we should stop having sex and whet till we get marred. He said heving sex before marriage is agents religen.so is that normal or he just need some series help?

    PS: and he said that I'm to wield fore him.
  • Jul 16, 2007, 08:15 PM
    denisa3503
    Japp
  • Jul 16, 2007, 08:46 PM
    TrueFaith
    Well that's very strange because you guys have already had sex? Why would the big R word come into it?? When you guys have already done it..
    That is very strange..

    I can't really help on this one.. just tell him that you guys did it before. Why not now?
    Unless there is another reason?
  • Jul 16, 2007, 08:57 PM
    AKaeTrue
    Has there been any talk by him about religion before?

    Could it be that he wants to follow his religion, perhaps restore his faith?

    I have heard that people who want to start following their religion again do practice abstinence after already being sexually active in their life.

    If he hasn't mentioned restoring his faith, then maybe something else is going on.

    Has he talked to you about anything else concerning this matter and religion?
  • Jul 16, 2007, 09:12 PM
    rankrank55
    Sounds like he is trying to start over and do what's "right" in his mind. If so, then just let it be, it might even make things more exciting on your wedding night!
  • Jul 16, 2007, 09:38 PM
    Skell
    Sounds really strange to me too.

    Has he recently been reborn or started attending church more regularly?

    Have you asked him why now all of a sudden it means something to him to wait. I would be very intrigued as to know why the sudden change of heart..

    Could he be getting it elsewhere??
  • Jul 16, 2007, 09:47 PM
    TrueFaith
    I agree with Skell.. I think he might be getting it elsewhere as well.. I mean it's a crazy sudden change? Using the R word as a no sex thing! When before it didn't even come into play.. its laughable..

    I hate the R word personaly.. but still :)

    It all seems very odd
  • Jul 16, 2007, 09:52 PM
    Skell
    Comments on this post
    rankrank55 disagrees: I highly doubt he is getting it "elsewhere"!


    I only asked the question.. I didn't say he was. Not at all. The disagree was totally uncalled for. You can't disagree with a question. Read site rules on Rating Answers.
  • Jul 16, 2007, 09:53 PM
    nauticalstar420
    I can't help but believe that truthfully, Religion has nothing to do with it. It just sounds like an excuse. If it wasn't against his religion before, why is it now? There has to be some other underlying reason to why he would want to abruptly stop having sex.

    Is there any indication that he is having an affair? Or any indication that he wants to break up?
  • Jul 16, 2007, 09:55 PM
    Skell
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by rankrank55
    Sounds like he is trying to start over and do what's "right" in his mind. If so, then just let it be, it might even make things more exciting on your wedding night!

    And obviously the poster isn't happy with just letting it be or they wouldn't be here asking. I think they need to talk to their partner about this. Not just let it be and wait for their wedding night whenever that may be, if ever.

    If they can't come to a resolution where both parties are happy then it will be time to assess the relationship. I don't like the idea of just letting things be when it is actually really bothering you.
  • Jul 16, 2007, 09:56 PM
    rankrank55
    I disagreed with the question... sorry. I just think people go through phases like this where they just want to start over. If he were cheating I don't think he would tell his girlfriend he wanting to stop having sex until they were MARRIED. Just my thoughts. There would be other signs that suggested cheating if this were the case.
  • Jul 16, 2007, 09:57 PM
    Skell
    And just for the record I don't think he is cheating either. I was merely asking could he be. It is a question that may have to be considered. Just as my other questions should be considered.

    He may have started attending church a lot more lately for some reason and now he see's it as important. Was he born again.

    There are lots of questions that need answering.
  • Jul 16, 2007, 10:00 PM
    rankrank55
    Your right Skell! The question is a bit vague which makes it had for us to hypothesize a more clear answer... we need more info.
  • Jul 16, 2007, 10:01 PM
    Skell
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by rankrank55
    I disagreed with the question...sorry. I just think people go through phases like this where they just want to start over. If he were cheating I don't think he would tell his girlfriend he wanting to stop having sex until they were MARRIED. Just my thoughts. There would be other signs that suggested cheating if this were the case.

    How do you know what signs are being given off?

    We can only go on what the poster has given us unless we ask more questions. Which is what I think we need answered in order to help more.

    She didn't say that he said it was simply a matter of wanting to start over. All of a sudden after FIVE years it becomes an issue. Sounds strange to me and id be asking a lot more questions than simply putting it down to wanting to start over for religious reasons.
  • Jul 16, 2007, 10:08 PM
    rankrank55
    I don't know of any signs... yet. Hopefully denisa will tell us if there is any or not. Maybe he a vision or something. It could be a number of things; I'd be asking questions too if I were her in order to rule out cheating or confused sexuality and all that scary stuff. Hopefully he's just wanting to change...
  • Jul 17, 2007, 12:05 AM
    denisa3503
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by denisa3503
    Ok me and my boyfriend have been going out five years. We started having sex 6 months liter. Now after 5 years he tells me that we should whet till we get marred. BC having sex before marriage is agent are religion. So is that normal or he just need some series help?



    I'm very confused. BC he never sad anything to me. Are sex life was never a problem before.he lives next door so I don't see him bringing girls home. But he started his own bossiness and he is traveling a lot.so that makes me think that he might have somebody els in his life. To just say no more sex after five years is stupid.
  • Jul 17, 2007, 12:09 AM
    nauticalstar420
    That clears a little bit up. It does sound like he MIGHT have something going on on the side, but don't quote me on that because I'm not psychic. Confront him about the situation, tell him to be honest, he might be.

    If his religion didn't bother him in the last 5 years, I don't see why it would now.
  • Jul 17, 2007, 12:11 AM
    Skell
    I think you need to sit down and have a serious discussion with him.
    Don't go accusing him of anything but make it clear that your confused as to why now all of a sudden it is an issue.

    Perhaps he doesn't feel like it because he is stressed with the new business and the religion thing is a front. Im not sure but you need to have an honest talk with him I feel!
  • Jul 17, 2007, 12:58 AM
    JoeCanada76
    I agree with skell,

    For five years a good sex life and all of a sudden it is over. Does not make sense to me eighter.

    Maybe this person does not want to continue the relationship? Maybe this person does have somebody else? The only way to find out is by trying to talk to him and figure this out.

    Good luck.

  • All times are GMT -7. The time now is 07:10 AM.