Due to my husband's work he is living overseas and I am in the states.We've been living separtly for four months. I went to visit him and right away I could tell something has changed. His sex drive with me has gone down, he claims it is because he is getting older. He is only 28. Then he starts talking about not being physcially attracted to me since I put on wieght after giving him three children. He says he is unhappy that is way he spends a lot of time away from home. He claims he is going out with friends. Then he is trying to prepare me in case we end up getting a divorce in the future. So I started snoping around in his email that he left opened and found one he wrote to a friend saying how his friend can come to his divorce and new wedding and he has met someone new. I confronted him and he claims he was just joking with his friend. Well I didn't buy it, so I snoped on our computer history. I found a letter on his hotmail address he wrote to a girl that he has been having an affair with. The computer history even saved the spell check he did on it. Now he claims that it was a friend that lived with him for two months, who wrote that letter to this girl he was cheating on his wife with while they were in the process of a divorce. I just don't buy it and he won't admit the truth. Is it possible for a computer to save a history from two months ago? That's how long it's been since his friend used my husband computer or did I just catch my husband cheating. He had no problem admitting he was not attracted to me anymore. Why won't he admit he his having an affair? Please someone reply.

I'm only 19... but a huge computer nerd.

Any information that you have sent or received is stored on your computer unless you know what you are doing to dispose of it. However such things as "cookies" and some internet files can be deleted when you want them to via your settings you have on your internet browser. Whether it be 20 days or 1 day. Internet explorer for example can save your information you sent or received for as long as you want... setting it at 0 would mean that it goes forever. As far as information on when you sent something... who you sent it to... what was on it... that's all saved. Why do you think the government takes peoples computers. Even if you delete something... there is a chance it's still on your computer, like I said, unless you know what you are doing.

Don't ask me about relationships... I'm pretty depressed about the one I'm in and trying to understand things to learn in the future. I just wanted to tell you the computer thing. Gl.

Unfortuntaly while the cat was a way the mouse got play.

Your husband is full of sh--.

I am sorry this happened to you. Going forward, when you have a family, you can't let yourr spouse move away. Anythjng in your power should be dcoen to stay together including not letting him go (unless it's military).

I don't normally say this, but, you're better off with out this louse. He takes a job away from home - he should have done the honorable thing and trusted.

28 year old guys sex drives don't go down. Period. End of story.

He is a louse and jerk from what you have told us.

I know this is hard on you, but you are finding out what a louse this guy is.

Awww, girl. Sorry to hear about your problem. From the replies you've gotten, it looks like the consensus is that he's a cheating, lying jerk. Trust your gut and don't believe him. Have you suggested counselling? If so and he said "nadda", I'd print out that email from his hotmail account and find a lawyer. I work w/ a guy that was in the military and he said that 19 out of 20 of his army buddies cheated on their wives, (which was disheartening because my late father was in the military... ) Now maybe my coworker's case is a rare one, but I doubt it. There is NO WAY a guy at 28 has lost his sex drive. Oh, and before/after you go to a lawyer, go see your doctor and get checked for any diseases this loser may have brought home. And if he's saying he's becoming increasingly less attracted to you because you bore 3 of HIS children, he's more of an as*hole then I thought.

Remember that no company is better than bad company. A good guy is out there and will appreciate you. Good luck to you.

Tough love - but good sound advice. I know it's not what you wanted to hear.

Why the F can't this guy be a freaking MAN and live up to his responsibilities and love the woman he married.

He has broken your trust even if he didn't cheat. Trust is impossible to get back.

I am really sorry this happened to you. A husband that cheats on his wife is breaking a MAJOR rule!
I know how you feel, my ex husband cheated on me too. I don't think any woman doesn't know how you feel. I think we have all felt that kind of hurt at one point in our lives. I am now currently married to a wonderful man and have been for almost 8 years now. NOT ALL MEN WILL CHEAT ON YOU! They are hard to find. I hope you can see past the love, I am sure you still feel for him and leave him. I am sorry to put it to you like this but your husband is a lying cheat. I know if I were him and I was cheating (which I dont) I certainly wouldn't have left any evidence for my wife to find.
As far as the not owning up to it, he is afraid of losing you. HE WANTS HIS CAKE AND EAT IT TOO! A marriage doesn't work that way. I hope you can find some comfort in this and if you would like to email me I would be happy to talk to you about it more. [email protected]
REMEMBER THIS: PUT YOUR FAITH IN GOD AND HE WILL TAKE CARE OF THE REST!

AGAIN I AM SORRY THIS HAS HAPPENED TO YOU!

Well I hate to say it but yes I really think that he is cheating... and that is something that you don't need to deal with esp with 3 kids... prepare you for divorce?? what the heck is that about... how about you leave his before he hurts you.. I know you have invested a lot of time and effort into this marriage but you have your kids to think about not a cheating husband.. there are plenty of good men out there that needless to say won't cheat on you and not only that but a lot more men now a days will still love a woman that has kids and treat them as their own.. but even if you don't get into another rship you need to LEAVE HIM now.. dont wait or give him second chances... once a cheater always a cheater and you don't need to waste more time hurting... the longer you wait the more you will end up being hurt.

Yes, this guy is pretty much big time scum. 3 kids and all.

I know you may want to protect him some as well.

Leave him.

If you want to save your marriage there is this e-book that might be able to help you with your situation go to http://www.hypertracker.com/go/msimple/infarct/ar6

:mad: Have a good cry and prepare to move on. It's got to be a hard thing to do, 3 kids and all but if he is not having sex with you, he is having sex with someone else or he's gay which still means, he's having sex with someone else. :mad: He won't confess to an affair because he doesn't want to hurt you, or he didn't want you to find out about it this way. My advise to you is for you to get all of the proof that he is a lying cheating douch bag, get you a lawyer, take him to court and sue the combat boots off his !! :mad: