Ask Me Help Desk - When is it time to leave and how do you do it

O.K. I am 23 years old and eight months pregnant I've enjoyed everything about my pregnancy except my b/f. I really do want out I want to find someone who loves me for me and would do anything for me, because that is the kind of person I am. It feels like my b/f uses me. We are moving in together on the 30 of this month and my thoughts are its more because he wants to be close to the baby not to me. I feel very strongly about this. He doesn't go that extra mile to make me happy like I do for him. We fight a lot and I think he enjoy's it and making up. He is slowly driving me insane. There was a time when he was the man of my dreams. Now I don't like the person that he has become, however, I do love him. I feel like I'm damaged goods because I am pregnant with his child. What do I do? I am tired of feeling hurt all the time and wondering what he is doing. He never cares when we get into a fight. If feels like he does nothing to make it better and everything to make it worse.

First of all, you are not damaged goods. You are simply a woman who is pregnant and confused and uncertain about her future. Understandable. I would love to go into the whole male-bashing attitude that so many women slip into so easily, but here is the deal... I can't. Truth be told, I think it is wonderful that he wants to be a part of the baby's life. If you remove everything else from the equation, that fact alone is something that many young men can't/won't offer. But, I know that it is more than that for you.

Could it be possibly that he is scared just like you and he shows it differently? Or maybe both of you are about to have a huge life changing event happen and neither one is sure what to expect from the other. And, dare I say, your hormones are probably kicking into overdrive making you feel a little out of tune. I am sorry that I throw the whole womanly hormone thing in there, but it really is a fact of our lives. They do mess us up at times.

If I were in you shoes (and I have been there... believe me when I say that), I would stick it out for the time being. At least until after the baby is born. Don't make any decisions that you may regret later. Like I said, you are both going through a pretty big event as it is. Maybe once the baby is here you will feel differently about the situation. If you don't, well, then you can see what your options are at that point. But, keep in mind; he will always be a part of your life. Forever and ever. For your sake, for his sake and for the babies sake, both of you will have to find a way to communicate with each other.

That is my two cents. Hopefully it helps. Good luck to you and your beautiful baby that you are carrying. I am sure that everything will work out.

My wife said the same thing to me, when she was pregnant with our first. She hated me for knocking her up, among other things. I wonder if you two could be related?? Wait before you make any decisions.

It is not that simple we have been dating for nine years and about 2/3 or more has been bad. I am suppost to let him do whatever he wants and be OK with that. He can say anything to me but I am suppost to talk to him a certain way. In esseince it has been going down hill for a while, and I'm tired of being the one to appologize, even if I did nothing wrong, or trying to keep this relationship togethere

If your unhappy, just leave. Pack up and leave and work out child support and visitation. Why have you stayed so long and I guess the child was a surprise. It doesn't matter that you've been together since you were 14. Sorry I misunderstood before.

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Originally Posted by prekautism

O.K. I am 23 years old and eight months pregnant I've enjoyed everything about my pregnacy except my b/f. I really do want out I want to find someone who loves me for me and would do anything for me, because that is the kind of person I am. it feels like my b/f uses me. we are moving in together on the 30 of this month and my thoughts are its more because he wants to be close to the baby not to me. I feel very strongly about this. He doesn't go that extra mile to make me happy like I do for him. As a matter of fact we fight alot and I think he enjoy's it and making up. He is slowly driving me insane. there was a time when he was the man of my dreams. Now I don't like the person that he has become, however, i do love him. I feel like I'm damaged goods because I am pregnant with his child. what do I do?? I am tired of feeling hurt all the time and wondering what he is doing. He never cares when we get into a fight. If feels like he does nothing to make it better and everything to make it worse.

I felt the same way when I was pregnant I think allot of it is stress and hormones and lets face it men cannot handle either of the two! If you don't feel comfortable moving in together DON'T! Give it time... don't rush! If you two are having problems maybe you just need a little space. Good Luck and God Bless!