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-   -   Stepfather wants to adopt (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=110028)

  • Jul 14, 2007, 11:09 PM
    keetyn
    Stepfather wants to adopt
    My wife and I have three children, two of which are from a previous relationship she had before our relationship began. I have been a father to these beautiful children for 12 and 11 years. Their biological father walked out of their lives when they were 4 months and 1years old, and he has never paid child support or visited them, never caring about their well being in life. I live in New Orleans LA and want to adopt them and give them my last name. Do we have to contact the birth father in order for me to adopt them? Can I sign the birth certificate without going through all of the red tape and court proceedings, he didn't want to sign? The children do not know that I am not their biological father, and it hurts me that I am not, please help. I love these children dearly, and don't want anything hindering our relationship in the future. Thanks!!
  • Jul 15, 2007, 05:48 AM
    ScottGem
    Sorry, but to formally adopt them you HAVE to go through Family Court. And you cannot adopt without at least trying to get the bio father to relinquish his rights.

    I'm confused by one thing here, you said; "The children do not know that I am not their biological father" If they don't have your name then how can they not know that?

    And no you can't change the because without the approval of a court.

    I'm also bothered by this statement; "and it hurts me that I am not (their bio father)". Why should that hurt you? Being a father is about caring for the children, its NOT about biology. Winess the fact that their bio father is not a father to them. You have, apparently, loved and parented these kids for almost of their lives. That is what makes you their father. By this age, they NEED to be told that you aren't their bio father. If you lie to them about this, it will make matters worse. You have proven your love for them and they will accept that.
  • Jul 15, 2007, 08:30 AM
    s_cianci
    You'll have to contact the birth father, or at least make a good faith attempt to do so. If you manage to contact him he'll have to give his consent before the adoption can proceed. If you can't locate him then the adoption can proceed without his consent.

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