My ex was a lifelong friend of the family. We reconeccted after many years and realized that throughout our journey of life that we were soulmates. We dated only 6 months and then amonth ago I split with him. I did because I caught him cheating awhile back and thought he was again. He lives in a different state and the distance is tough. He has a lot of issues that he needs to resolve... and says he can't handle the pressure I give him with the distance. I am co dependent and working on that. I understand his frustration. To this day he won't go over 3 days without contacting me. He is hanging out with a woman that he calls his friend... (yeh right). He wants to be my friend. Although he still tells me on occasions when I have a melt down.. that he is in love with me, he misses us and I am his truly best friend. I am stuck now... I have told him I can't be friends that it hurts badly and he still contacts me. Obviously my words are taken seriously with my past history. My friend says I should become his friend and show him that we can have fun without the pressure and stress and that will bring him back. Or should I just drop off and move on. I have been struggling hard emotionally and even going through depression. Please tell me what's best to get him back..

Robyn

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Originally Posted by chicinjeep

My ex was a lifelong friend of the family. We reconeccted after many years and realized that thoughout our journey of life that we were soulmates. We dated only 6 months and then amonth ago I split with him. I did because I caught him cheating awhile back and thought he was again. He lives in a different state and the distance is tough. He has alot of issues that he needs to resolve...and says he can't handle the pressure I give him with the distance. I am co dependent and working on that. I understand his frustration. To this day he wont go over 3 days without contacting me. He is hanging out with a woman that he calls his friend...(yeh right). He wants to be my friend. Although he still tells me on occassions when I have a melt down..that he is in love with me, he misses us and I am his truly best friend. I am stuck now...I have told him I can't be friends that it hurts badly and he still contacts me. Obviously my words are taken seriously with my past history. My friend says I should become his friend and show him that we can have fun without the pressure and stress and that will bring him back. Or should I just drop off and move on. I have been struggling hard emotionally and even going through depression. Please tell me whats best to get him back...?

Robyn

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Unfortunately, men will come back only if they "decide" to come back. I need to know more of your history before I can give you a better advise. But keep these rule of thumb in mind when you analyze your situation. Many men are self centered in a way that they will keep you around because it's of convenient to them. They want to have access to you only because they want you WHEN they want you. I am not talking about physical wanting. Emotional access is also a major reason why many men keeping women friends around. Of course, same could be applied to women as well. A second rule of thumb is, words are cheap. He can say he loves you until the cow comes home. You have to ask yourself, where is the action? How did he show he is in love with you? Are you sure you want to be with someone who is so confused? If you need more consultation, I also consult for a fee.