I would like to know if in present relationship you should talk about your past relationship or x girlfriend or boyfriend always? I think is not because its already your past and if she or he talk about it before you should not repeat it that conversation about your x or past relationship again for your respect in your present relationship.

Not to be rude but I can't understand what you are getting at exactly...

But I think you have a problem with your significant other talking about their ex?

If so then I say ask them if they would be happier with them or with you. Honesty is the best policy.

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Originally Posted by jeep1995

not to be rude but i can't understand what you are getting at exactly.....

but i think you have a problem with your significant other talking about thier ex?

if so then i say ask them if they would be happier with them or with you. honesty is the best policy.

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I tried that, as my ex used to bring up past hookups/exes a lot to the point where I finally asked if he was ready to even be with me. In my case, he accused me of trying to get rid of him, yet continued to bring up other girls to me. Then, started up with telling me how girls at work liked him, asking if he'd have a chance with them, until I finally had enough and said, "If thats what you want then go for it. I'd rather you be happy than stay with me and keep bringing it up." Again... I was "trying to get rid of him." =(... Honestly? Never was. I just didn't want him to stay with me if he felt the need to keep gauging a response/flirting with other girls in front of me all the time.

So... try honesty... and if that doesn't work... tell her you're not comfortable always hearing about the past. A little bit is fine, its just a matter of how often/the context.

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Originally Posted by donnski

I would like to know if in present relationship you should talk about your past relationship or x girlfriend or boyfriend always? I think is not because its already your past and if she or he talk about it before you should not repeat it that conversation about your x or past relationship again for your respect in your present relationship.

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By all means you should not always talk about your past relationship(s). That's a #1 turnoff. In fact, you should talk about them very little. If the other person asks you questions about it then answer them honestly but don't bore them by always talking about your ex(s) all the time.

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Originally Posted by clandestine1

I tried that, as my ex used to bring up past hookups/exes a lot to the point where I finally asked if he was ready to even be with me. In my case, he accused me of trying to get rid of him, yet continued to bring up other girls to me. Then, started up with telling me how girls at work liked him, asking if he'd have a chance with them, until I finally had enough and said, "If thats what you want then go for it. I'd rather you be happy than stay with me and keep bringing it up." Again...I was "trying to get rid of him." =( ...Honestly? Never was. I just didn't want him to stay with me if he felt the need to keep gauging a response/flirting with other girls in front of me all the time.

So...try honesty...and if that doesn't work...tell her you're not comfortable always hearing about the past. A little bit is fine, its just a matter of how often/the context.

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Probably the best approach is to say something like 'I'm sorry, but if you don't mind I'd prefer it if you didn't talk about (Shirley, etc.) any more. Let's talk about something else now." If he doesn't take kindly to that, then there's a cue that something is amiss and you should rethink being with him. There's no legitimate reason in the world why he should always want or need to talk about his past flings all the time. Frankly I'd think it'd get rather boring talking about the same thing all the time and you could find a way to tactfully tell hm that as well. After all, if all he talked about all the time was race cars you'd find that boring eventually as well.

I can talk about my ex's with my current boyfriend. He knows how I feel about them (they're dirt) and he's not worried in the least. He knows I'm with him. Now, I don't necessarily like it when he brings up an ex.. lol.. unless it's downgrading them, then I'm fine :) The only ex that I ever bring up would be the man I spent 7 years of my life with. It's good for conversation if someone else is having a particular problem and I can relate, saying, "Hey, I've been there...This is what I did..." But I would never bring up past sexual history or anything great that they did. I couldn't remember anyway! Bad outweighs the good, to me, so anything nice is wiped from my memory. He doesn't mind me brining anything up though but if he did, I wouldn't... At all... Out of respect for him.

If a new woman I was seeing asked me about my ex, I would just say I prefer not to talk about her, she is my past, you are my future. I don't see the point in dwelling on the past with a new partner. It does not have any relevance... If she asked why we broke up, I would tell her the truth because I have nothing to hide and I was the one who was hurt. It would be somewhat painful bringing up those memories even though I am through it all now, it doesn't matter, I still have memories which will never go away. I certainly would not instigate any conversation about my ex with a new girlfriend.

The thing is... The past is the past, why let it affect the future?

That's probably a hard cookie to chew on for some.

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Originally Posted by Geoffersonairplane

If a new woman I was seeing asked me about my ex, I would just say I prefer not to talk about her, she is my past, you are my future. I don't see the point in dwelling on the past with a new partner. It does not have any relevance...If she asked why we broke up, I would tell her the truth because I have nothing to hide and I was the one who was hurt. It would be somewhat painful bringing up those memories even though I am through it all now, it doesn't matter, I still have memories which will never go away. I certainly would not instigate any conversation about my ex with a new girlfriend.

The thing is...The past is the past, why let it affect the future?

Thats probably a hard cookie to chew on for some.

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I use to feel the same way but after being with my boyfriend for 2 years I realize that if it weren't for those stupid jerks, I wouldn't be where I am today. So, I thank those *ssh*l*s that used me, lied to me and cheated on me. I would never regret anything I went through cause it was just leading me to my future. And I am so happy where I am today.

Oh, I have been in this situation.. for some reason, that I do not know, there is a probability that your current BF/GF would want to know if you were in a past relationship..
I suggest you be very honest and tell the truth (very briefly) and open for him/ her to ask questions. He/she would also consider the fact that you are honest and straight forward.. The relationship is getting an opportunity to build strong foundation..
Good luck to you!
-Rp

The thing is... The past is the past, why let it affect the future?

That's probably a hard cookie to chew on for some.[/QUOTE]

All right! Agree to that. However, How would the reaction of the current BF/GF be when he /she would hear some more details from some other source? Having said that taking a anticipatory bail is also very difficult... If you knew what I mean..

Unless there is more going on... i.e. A lot of conversation with ex's leave the past where it is. Everyone has a past and some don't want to dwell on it.

Personally I would would give a light introduction to my ex's and leave it as that.