Sounds like your aimlessness and your depression are locked in a downward spiral; the aimlessness generates the depression and the depression feeds the aimlessness. But there's more than one way to skin a cat. You haven't been able to break the spiral and find the good life by focusing on your lack of a career, so why not break it at the other point by focusing on the depression? You may find that if you work on the depression it will become much easier finding hope in your career search.
Many cases of depression are highly treatable without medication and in a relatively short number of sessions. If you have health insurance or an EAP at work, give them a call for a referral. In most communities, there are nonprofit agencies that offer counseling on a sliding scale based on income, or pro bono in cases of extreme financial hardship. Go to your yellow pages and call a few agencies and tell them you're looking for services on a sliding scale.
Here's
good advice on finding a good therapist. A good and reliable resource for locating a therapist is
Find-A-Therapist, which has been around for ten years. You can also find an online or e-therapist through an affiliate of Find-A-Therapist by clicking on
this link.
If you are experiencing serious distress, you can find nationwide USA hotlines as well as state hotlines at
SuicideHotlines.net. If you are accessing this web site from outside the USA, you can find helplines for many countries at
Befrienders Worldwide.
All the best in your journey!
Vasily