Ask Me Help Desk - Awful Dad

Okay me and my exboyfriend broke up last summer, we were fine ended on good terms and still talked every now and then... Two months later I have to call him and tell him I am eight weeks pregnant. He was fine with it. When I was 36 weeks pregnant he decided to flip the script on me and me completely different. He had started dating this new girl, wich I kind of think has a little bit to do with it. He accused me of not knowing whether the baby was his, blah blah blah. Anyway the baby is 3 months old now and he has seen her a total of 2 hours, then asked me to allow him to come pick her up. I said no of course, I told him she needed to get to know him before I allowed her to leave with him... Was I in the wrong and what should I do? I n terms of should I try to keep contact with him, I just hate feeling like I am begging him to be in her life, I couldn't care less... I am just thinking of her, none of this is fair to the most precious abby girl in the world!!

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Originally Posted by Michelle0410

Okay me and my exboyfriend broke up last summer, we were fine ended on good terms and still talked every now and then... Two months later I have to call him and tell him I am eight weeks pregnant. he was fine with it. When I was 36 weeks pregnant he decided to flip the script on me and me completely different. He had started dating this new girl, wich I kinda think has a little bit to do with it. He accused me of not knowing whether or not the baby was his, blah blah blah. Anyway the baby is 3 months old now and he has seen her a total of 2 hours, then asked me to allow him to come pick her up. I said no of course, I told him she needed to get to know him before I allowed her to leave with him...Was I in the wrong and what should i do??I n terms of should I try to keep contact with him, I just hate feeling like I am begging him to be in her life, I could care less... I am just thinking of her, none of this is fair to the most precious abby girl in the world!!!

Your child has two parents - both are responsible for the care of that child... You need to call your county or state welfare office and ask how to get child support from him. The support is for the child, not you... until she is 18.

Tapping his finances will quickly ground his "cattin'" ways. You will then have to decide whether you want to keep him around.

If you, honestly, don't think you can be a strong advocate for your child... let someone else adopt her... but don't be passive...

First is he on the birth certificate? That would be your first step in gaining child support and full custody. Second, He hasn't spent anytime with her and she doesn't know him at all. You are totally right to tell him that she needs to get to know him better before you let him take her. You don't have to beg him to be in her life. Either he is or he isn't. Your best bet is to have a paternity test done *assuming he's not on the birth certificate* and file for sole custody and child support. You sound like you have things well in hand. Let us know if you have any other questions.

You did the right thing. Stick to your guns. If he wants to be a part of her life then he'll go to court and either admit paternity or submit to a DNA test to prove that he is the Dad and get a visitation order established. Meanwhile, you go to court and get an order for child support established.

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Originally Posted by Myth

First is he on the birth certificate? That would be your first step in gaining child support and full custody. Second, He hasn't spent anytime with her and she doesn't know him at all. You are totally right to tell him that she needs to get to know him better before you let him take her. You don't have to beg him to be in her life. Either he is or he isn't. Your best bet is to have a paternity test done *assuming he's not on the birth certificate* and file for sole custody and child support. You sound like you have things well in hand. Let us know if you have any other questions.

Thank you very much, I am not sure where adoption came from either, that has never entered my mind once! She is my life, the DNA test has been done and he knows that she is his. He has seen her once for two hours after that, then asked to come pick her up. I guess everyone is right, court is the next and only option. I appreciate the advice =)

Your welcome hun. Keep us posted on what happens and the such. Stick around cause I'm sure you'll have more questions in the future... lol... There are always questions... And feel free to add your two cents on other questions if you think you can help.

Okay so me and her Dad went to court and everything is finally done, he will get her every other weekend, but he works out of town so he will get her like once every four months... Child Support and the parenting plan has been established! Thanks for all your help!!