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-   -   Should I give up? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=107913)

  • Jul 8, 2007, 01:18 PM
    soconfused417
    Should I give up?
    I was with my boyfriend for almost four years. We were young and went through a lot together. Hurt each other for example we cheated & lied and there is no trust. Our love is so strong we both have a hard time letting go so we forgive each other but then the relationship seems damaged and I really need some advice. A part of me chases him and wants him to want to be with me. But I really don't know if its healthy for me. I love him to death but he says he wants to be with other girls sometimes but then there is a side of him that just wants to be happy with me? I don't quite understand what he wants from me. And then since I don't trust him when he is treating me good I go and think he is still talking to other girls so I talk to other guys. Well he recently found out and now he is making the decision whether to forgive me or just leave me. Should I just move on? Should I even sweat it? I made him my life, my everything and now I'm scared to loose him. We broke up for a few months before and he says sooo many girls wanted him. Then why when I started dating someone else who treated me so much better then he did but he came crying back & wanted to be with me? And why did I take him back? Did I make a mistake? If all those girls wanted him why didn't he be with them? I'm really confused and I need some advice there is some more to the story... but let me know what you think please :(
  • Jul 8, 2007, 02:45 PM
    Inspired
    I think that you both are playing games with each other. In love you do not hurt and cheat on each other. In my opinion, both of you need time alone to figure out yourself. You two are too much into the drama to be able to sort things out. Since you both were young, it would be a good idea to just take time apart (no talking, no seeing each other) to work on yourself. Don't try to hurt each other when you are taking time apart. Don't care about what he is thinking or doing.
  • Jul 8, 2007, 03:40 PM
    Dennis777
    Hello.

    Sorry to say this but your both not ready for a relationship. Your both wrong and he has no reason to think about forgiving you when he is doing the same thing. If he thinks its OK for him to flirt and play around but you have to stay at home he, better grow up.

    Get out now or both of you start giving each other 110%

    Good Luck
    Dennis777
  • Jul 8, 2007, 04:05 PM
    Shaunta
    Well Honestly... I Don't See It Working... You Can't Trust Him And He Can't Trust You... What Is A Relationship Without Trust?? I Think You Would Just Need To Move On And Focus On Yourself And Do What You Feel Is Right... Sorry To Say But It Will Never Be Back To Normal Again (whatever Normal Is To You) You Both Did Your Dirt And I Don't See How You Two Could Even Make It Work... I Could Also Be Wrong... I Wish You Luck And You Know In Yourheart What Is Right... I Know You Love Him But Do You Honestly Want To Sit At Home While He Is Out And About Enjoying Himself?? Do You Honestly Want To Sit There And Wonder If Hes Talking To Another Female? The Only Way You Wouldn't Have To Do That Is To Just Move On... Good Luck Honey! :)
  • Jul 8, 2007, 04:20 PM
    Pook_Myster
    Your relationship lacks trust and respect and without these two ingredients it simply won't work. I would suggest that this relationship is like a comfortable old pair of shoes to you... they are familiar, that is all... it's a comfort thing... you need to see the difference between this, and real love.

    I am sure you have learnt a lot about yourself and grown as a person from when you first got together and now. I think you should take the lessons and move on and realise that it isn't normal or healthy to treat your partner in such a way.
  • Jul 8, 2007, 10:29 PM
    huno
    Pretty much the same advice everyone else has given you... this relationship's as good as over.
  • Aug 17, 2007, 12:42 AM
    Bautista
    Well yea I agree with everyone else...
    You need a break and see how things go you try out new people and he does to and than well see how things work out you know...
    I know its hard to let go of the person you love but sometimes you just have to let go...
    If he isn't listening to you than what the leave him you tried talking to him and everything he don't listen well just take a break and see how things go and see how you like it!SORRY I Didn't GIVE SOME GOOD ADVICE=(!
  • Aug 17, 2007, 12:51 AM
    mckenzie134
    Give up you will much happierin the end and you will look back and say what was I possibly thinking and how unhealty would my life have turned out if I stayedwith hime.

    I was in the same situation as you when I was 19 dated a girl for fou years same crap as your going through. Im now 298 and thank god we didn't stay together. One thing I have learnt over time .
    If anyone cheats on you they don't love you. It's that simple.

    Trust = love = great relationship. No trust hit the road. This relatoiomnship is doomed and you will only be unhappy one day.

    I've learnt one thing from a guy on here.
    There isn't enough love to get cheated on...
  • Jul 16, 2008, 07:03 PM
    carrieinmarlow
    Sounds like you ought to grow up!

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