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-   -   I'm in love with a 14 year old and I am 19, can we date without getting in trouble? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=107677)

  • Jul 7, 2007, 03:10 PM
    toddlovell19
    I'm in love with a 14 year old and I am 19, can we date without getting in trouble?
    Hi,

    Me and my friend are deeply in love with each other! And what I want to know is, is it OK for me to date her without getting in trouble. If there isn't no sexual inter actions with each other. I'm 19 and she's 14. I would appreciate the help !
  • Jul 7, 2007, 03:18 PM
    Fr_Chuck
    Most likely her parents will not want you to, so unless they give permission to "date" you can not.

    And from a honest opinion, no you should not, a 19 year old has no business at all dating a child. If you do, and it leads to sex, you go to jail for a long time, and many in the jails have kids and don't like child rapists in there.
  • Jul 7, 2007, 05:01 PM
    excon
    Hello Todd:

    It's not illegal, but it's not a good idea.

    excon
  • Jul 7, 2007, 05:33 PM
    liet
    It is illegal to have sex with a person who is at least 2 years younger than you and more so because you (male) are an adult. By law, you can go to jail, even if she consents.

    This was shown on a daytime talk show. The guy was 17 and the girl was 16; they were boyfriend and girlfriend. He went to jail. Even if the parents do not press charges, the District Attorney can.

    My advice is to check your local, state and federal statutes before you end up in JAIL.
  • Jul 7, 2007, 05:39 PM
    JoeCanada76
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by liet
    It is illegal to have sex with a person who is at least 2 years younger than you and more so because you (male) are an adult. By law, you can go to jail, even if she consents.

    This was shown on a daytime talk show. the guy was 17 and the girl was 16; they were boyfriend and girlfriend. He went to jail. Even if the parents do not press charges, the District Attorney can.

    My advice is to check your local, state and federal statutes before you end up in JAIL.

    '

    It all depends on each state, country, province. Just depends on the laws of the land and they are different where ever you go.

    My answer is the same as Fr Chuck. What are you doing with a 14 year old? You have no business dating a child.
  • Jul 7, 2007, 05:39 PM
    unclesams
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by toddlovell19
    hi,

    me and my friend are deeply in love with each other! and what i want to know is, is it ok for me to date her without getting in trouble. if there aint no sexual inter actions with each other. im 19 and shes 14. i would appreciate the help !

    Come on...

    I was 17 and dated a 13 year old - but we never had sex - so NO it is not illegal and NO you can not go to jail - YOU MUST NOT SCREW UP or you will be in jail for a few years, and even if today she will lie - she might change her mind in a few months or after you guys break up and then you are in JAIL.

    Good luck treat her well.
  • Jul 7, 2007, 06:13 PM
    bushg
    Her parents can stop you if they want. She is under their care until she is 18. I am not an attorney, but I am sure that you being an adult and her a minor if they prohibt you from seeing her you will be breaking some type of law. At the very least contributing to the delinquency of a minor if not more. Talk to your local police station. Also if you make out with her kiss, or touch her that is considered sexual contact. If you stick any of your body parts into her vagina, anus or mouth that will be considered rape. So my advice to you would be unless they like and trust you back off. Even if they accept the relationship. If that is the case I hope that you are very disciplined because if you have any type of sex with her, mom and dad may get angry and press chartges or if you pi$$ of the girl friend she can yell rape.

    Thank you jesus I need all the help I can get. Lol you did startle me though ,my mom was a holy roller if you know the term. Oh,and she still is one. 666 was a big no! No!
  • Jul 7, 2007, 08:09 PM
    J_9
    Most 14 year olds do not understand true love. They are still in the infatuation and puppy love stage.

    Before anyone bashes me, I have raised 3 14 year olds.

    They just don't comprehend the complexities of true love at this stage in their lives. Sure many may claim to "be mature" for their age, but in all honesty it is not possible.

    14 year olds and 19 year olds are in 2 totally different developmental stages in life.

    I tell you, if a 19 year old boy came to our house to see my daughter right now, he'd be looking down a barrel if dad answered the door.

    And I'm not even addressing the sex.
  • Jul 8, 2007, 09:58 AM
    PixieMama
    There is a 19 yr old boy who was hanging around my little sister and her friends. This kid only dates 13 & 14 yr old girls. My parents, my step sister (23), my brother (30), my husband and I all had a problem with this - not to mention all my guy friends saying there is something just not right with this. The most common question is what does a 19 year old have in common with a 13/14 year old girl? If you have sex you could end up in jail. And it's generally not a good idea to date a child when you are legally an adult. You two are in two different stages of mental development and at 14 she doesn't know what "love" is in the same sense that you might. I was a 14 year old girl once and I can honestly say that looking back, I didn't know what love was at that age.
  • Jul 8, 2007, 10:07 AM
    excon
    Hello again, Todd:

    I don't know about you, but when I was 19 I was trying to boff anything that walked. I'll bet you're not toooooo different than that.

    Therefore, I reiterate my earlier advice. It's NOT a good idea.

    excon

    PS> I'm 64 now, and STILL trying to boff anything that walks.
  • Jul 8, 2007, 10:13 AM
    saraispiel19
    Who sαys she loves you she's 14 -- she's like α puppy αny αttention is better thαn none-- by the time she hits your αge she'll probαbly remember you αs the creepy guy..

    Your old enough now to see whαts wrong/right-- your not in love with this prepubescent girl αnd sexuαl intercourse would be considered stαtutory rαpe

    Go find someone your own αge-- α 14 yeαr old won't give you whαt α person your αge would.. whαt is she gonnα do? When you go out you'll hαve α nine o'clock curfew, mαybe you could help her with her homework lαter... yα sounds greαt
  • Jul 8, 2007, 10:22 AM
    talaniman
    The best thing to do is go to her father, and get his permision to see his daughter. The law does not apply inside a mans house.
  • Jul 13, 2007, 09:34 PM
    lamboleum
    Ok well dude I'm just like you but my girl is one year older than yours. Love is something that can happen at any age and is not to be stereotyped. I love my girl more than anything in the world. Not all guys are out for sex, some of us just want that one special girl. Mine acts like an 18 year old and I know that God has brought us together. Nothing can happen to you as long as no zoom zoom in the boom boom happens. And if you truly love her her parents will be able to see it and they won't have a problem. KEEP IT STRONG MY BRO! Listen to someone who knows all about this stuff.
  • Jul 14, 2007, 08:19 AM
    talaniman
    Quote:

    if you truly love her her parents will be able to see it and they won't have a problem. KEEP IT STRONG MY BRO! Listen to someone who knows all about this stuff.
    Any parent who lets there 14 year old daughter to go out with a 19 year old man is a idiot. Listen to someone who REALLY knows all about this stuff.
  • Jul 16, 2007, 12:31 AM
    Clough
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck
    Most likely her parents will not want you to, so unless they give permission to "date" you can not.

    And from a honest opinion, no you should not, a 19 year old has no business at all dating a child. If you do, and it leads to sex, you go to jail for a long time, and many in the jails have kids and don't like child rapists in there.

    Quote:

    Comments on this post
    Bushg agrees: and to take a chance on being tagged a sexual offender/predator for 10 or more years.
    Lamboleum disagrees: My girlfriend is 15 and I'm 19. We love each other. Just don't 'do it' and you'll have clear sailing. But respect her parents too.
    19 to 15 or 19 to 14 is a huge difference in age and also understanding about life when learning about and understanding things during those years. Too big a difference in age to even be messing around with a relationship. But, do her parents respect the relationship that you have with each other? This question being directed towards lamboleum.
  • Jul 22, 2007, 11:09 PM
    lamboleum
    Comment on talaniman's post
    For being a relationship exper that was a very novice reply. My girlfriend has the maturity level of an 18 year old. And I can prove it. Not an idiot they would be. But need to be cautious, yes.
  • Jul 23, 2007, 12:30 AM
    Clough
    Dear lamboleum,

    As you get used to using this site, you will learn that it is best that if you want to post a response directly to someone, you will press the "Quote User" button and then post your response. Rating people is something that you do if the poster is totally incorrect and off base, or that you agree with what they have posted or want to compliment them.

    I asked you the following question:
    Quote:

    But, do her parents respect the relationship that you have with each other?
    I was not challenging you, but just asking a question. Therefore, I had not made a statement as to what you are doing is right or wrong. But, was only wondering what her parents think of the relationship that you have with each other.

    Please post a response and not a rating if someone is merely asking a question.

    Thank you!
  • Jul 23, 2007, 02:35 AM
    miszcrazi4eva
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by toddlovell19
    hi,

    me and my friend are deeply in love with each other! and what i want to know is, is it ok for me to date her without getting in trouble. if there aint no sexual inter actions with each other. im 19 and shes 14. i would appreciate the help !

    Well its okay if your parents and her parents agree with the 2 of you.. and well I'm dating a 17 year old and I'm 14 and all I needed was permission from my mother and she was okay with it and the only way you can get in trouble is if her parents don't allow it and if you 2 end up having sexual things going on in the relationship and you break up wit the girl and if her parents didn't agree with you two going out @ all her parents could sue you for rape...
  • Jul 23, 2007, 04:50 AM
    talaniman

    She maybe mature in your eyes, but as a father that raised 4 girls, the 14-18 years for a female should be focused on her emotional growth, and education, and I be damned if some young punk will come along and mess that up. At 18/19 you young fellas are not that mature yourselves, so rather than put my girls in that situation, its better to run you off, BY ANY MEAN NESSECARY. When you have girls of your own you can be an idiot, or a responsible parent.
  • Jul 26, 2007, 08:54 PM
    alizabethdarlameithof
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by miszcrazi4eva
    well its okay if your parents and her parents agree with the 2 of you.. and well im dating a 17 year old and im 14 and all i needed was permission from my mother and she was okay with it and the only way you can get in trouble is if her parents dont allow it and if you 2 end up having sexual things going on in the relationship and you break up wit the girl and if her parents didnt agree with you two going out @ all her parents could sue you for rape ...

    I just really don't think it's okay. I was fifteen dating an older man, and my parents found out, they freaked out and threw his butt in prison. I am eighteen now, and he is still in there. I feel sorry for him because that happened to him, but then again it was his own fault. I just think if you really like her, let her go, and return to her when she is eighteen. You really don't want to be known as a pedophile do you.

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