BREAK UPS

If you just found yourself in a break-up, ask yourself what you can do in the interim and see if this is critical for your overall life.
(A big question, but ultimately what the relationship is about.)

MOST RELATIONSHIPS GO UP AND DOWN, AND MOST WILL NOT BE YOUR LAST. If you are married, you have a 50% chance to survive.
Love is a powerful thing, and one partner usually has the "upper hand" and receives just a bit more than they give. This is the power player. They often can "yo-yo" the other lover at their whim. Fight this. Always ask one thing: Can this last a lifetime? If so, keep trying. If you are too in-love, ask a trusted friend to evaluate. The hard part is that if you are really in love, no matter what they say, it can fall on deaf ears...

Here's a starter list for Relationships: BREAK UPS. What number are you on?

1) If you break up once - you may need time to heal and evaluate the relationship, and perhaps return to the relationship in at least 3 months to as much as a year. This is common after 6 months to 1 year or even 2 years... and can yield growth for both sides.

2) If you break up twice and return - you may be in a relationship that you are afraid to let go of. You need to ask yourself what new thing can you bring to the relationship if you return. The fact is that it is likely fated to never work.

3) If you break up three times you may be in serious denial. They only way a 3x loser can become a winner is to have one side completely adhere to the major request of the other side: move-in, change towns, take part in child-care etc.

4) If you break up and return 4x you are in a relationship cycle. One of you is dependent on a crisis to make the relationship feel valid. This is dangerous. The only way this can work is if you try dating other people and truly realize that this person is THE ONE. And should you fail again... there is no one to blame but you - (see also Pamela Anderson).

5) 5+ (see also high-school)
It's a strange addiction... it won't likely go anywhere, and it will wreck other relationships, but if the S-E-X is good or the bond is strong... it'll rubber-band for years...

What makes good relationship in your mind?
How many break-ups have you endured?
What made for a happy relationship?

5) What about 5-6x's

***A good relationship to me is 100% of the following:::::
Loyalty
Trust
Honesty
And when you have those things it equals true love

*** How many break ups have I endured?? ::::
I have broken up with my current boyfriend all of ZERO times in the past 13 months and I am the most happy girl ever!! But previous relationships... Oh God! My last one at least 3 and one before that I know it was more than 6 but I never really kept count... it sucked and I was very very naïve and stupid to keep going back.

***What made for a happy relationship? ::::
Loyalty
Trust
Honesty
And above all undying love.

Life is change, when you realise that and you become an adaptable human, well then your on the road to success - one hopes ! Nothing is definiate, get happy by yourself and your cool :P

Well at least I my ex fiancé will keep doing this to other guys. The sex was great in the beginning. And every time she broke up with me I kept saying what is she in high school.

SAB123,

I hear you.
Been there... we just go back and back...

Why did she keep breaking up?
Same reason or different?
What is she doing now?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by victoria_mitchell

***A good relationship to me is 100% of the following:::::
Loyalty
Trust
Honesty
and when you have those things it equals true love

*** How many break ups have I endured???::::
I have broken up with my current boyfriend all of ZERO times in the past 13 months and I am the most happy girl ever!!! but previous relationships.... Oh God!! My last one atleast 3 and one before that I know it was more than 6 but I never really kept count... it sucked and I was very very naive and stupid to keep going back.

***What made for a happy relationship??::::
Loyalty
Trust
Honesty
and above all undying love.

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Jiser quotes Chuff above:
"Women like a challenge..."

So, "Happy Victoria": describe your BF. Is he a challenge? Busy?
Caring? Nurturing? Well-occupied?

Who cares what their doing :) Were having too much fun ! Don't forget that. Their loss not yours.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Jiser

Who cares what their doing :) Were having to much fun ! Don't forget that. Their loss not yours.

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No, I mean your current BF...
What makes him worth your undivided attention.
Is he busy? Just plain fun? Like you?

I think what most holds us together is the fact that we are TOTALLY OPPOSITE!

He is a challenge rarley, but when he is I find it quite adorable.

I wouldn't say he is "busy" as in working a lot or doing something every second of everyday. But, he is a go getter and is DETERMINED to do everything once before he dies; but that just makes him more desierable to me because he is SO faceted (spelling? )

He is one of THE MOST (and I don't say that lightly) caring people I have ever met. He's always concerned about others and trying to help others he always says "I want to become rich so that if anyone needs my help, or is in the situation you were in I could help them." <you referring to me)

As far as nueturing, I guess it depends on what exactly you mean by that.

He works as a Studio Medic and he loves it and he makes really,really, really good money doing it. If you're thinking I could be with him for money reasons, huh I wish... He just got this job working in the Studios in May so before that he had a regualr hard working low paying job. Just like I'm sure everyone had at one point.

( I have just realized that I called my endearing boyfriend Him or He in this entire post, so for the recod his name is Kodi)

What makes good relationship in your mind?
Two people who are on the same page and have big fun getting to know each other.
How many break-ups have you endured?
Before I got married there were a lot, but only one as lonf as 3 years. I was supposed to get married but it didn't happen.
What made for a happy relationship?
Honest communications and reaching for the same goals and compromise so you both get your needs met, and caring enough to be there for each other when the hard times come.

By the way I've never gone back once a relationship is over. We both work very hard on this marriage and still have fun.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Ash123

SAB123,

I hear ya.
Been there....we just go back and back....

Why did she keep breaking up?
same reason or different?
what is she doing now?

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1. Went out drinking with boys too much. Then I cahnged for her.
2. A yr in to relationship bought a house to see what it was like to live on own so it was because of me buying house and she had no say into it she wanted to get married rita away. So it was we wanted to different thing/age diferrence
3.Wasn't moving relationship fast enough for her.
4-5. Over stupid fights
6. I was emotionally drained about wedding , my job, how I was going to take care of my high maintenance fiancé and child. So I was confused so she actually broke up for me. Butt I cleared my head after a week and said I was making a mistake.
7. First accuse was I wasn't excided about wedding wasn't moving it fast enough for her. That was because I was going through some serois back problems. First a couple months dr's didn't no what was wrong with me. They even said I may have MS. But I'm better now.
Second excuse was I never loved her
Third was I can't remember now but it was something stupid.
Their may have a couple more break up but I can't remember those and 4-5 were couple day fights.

yep, back and back....and once we pass a couple break-ups we're usually just delaying the innevitable.