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-   -   I'm afraid I'll never forget him. (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=107294)

  • Jul 6, 2007, 08:05 AM
    Dumped and still in love
    I'm afraid I'll never forget him.
    It's been almost 2 weeks already but I still cry every night. I can't eat or sleep well and I can't do anything without being reminded of him. I've read many articles about breaking up. They all say to get out of the house and to do things that I didn't do with him. Whenever I try, I'm reminded of how lonely I am, and how he would've liked to be there with me. And then all the happy memories flood my mind.

    Although he dumped me, I know he still loves me. I'm in touch with his close friend who said that he's lost weight and just stays at home all day.

    I'm driving myself crazy and I really don't know how to make myself feel better. What if I never get over him?
  • Jul 6, 2007, 08:10 AM
    woh337
    I think U'll. Go out have some fun with your friends, or go the places he usually goes to, and dance in front of him with your friend! Hey, maybe he will come back from you but at least it'll help u through!:)
  • Jul 6, 2007, 08:25 AM
    SAB123
    Still in love, I'm sorry about your loss. You are going to cry, hurt, feel lonely for a long time. It has been 5 months since my ex fiancé broke up with me. And it still hurts sometimes. My advise is to come to terms with it and let go, don't contact him. Buy doing this you actually delay your healing. I am getting better now that because I decided 3 weeks ago to let go again. Without letting go you will awalys hurt.
  • Jul 6, 2007, 01:09 PM
    Jiser
    I got a mix of some of my posts people liked, hope it helps? I can say to you I have had contact with my ex and it has knocked me back a hell of alot, so stay no contact for your own benefit. You only have one life so live it for yourself:I think its time to accept the harsh truth that its over and start the transition to single life. Its hard but

    Whatever doesn't kill us makes us stronger right? More wary in the future and aware what we are looking for in a

    Relationship and a person.

    Treat your relationship as a life experience, you might not be able to treasure the memories you had right now but

    One day you will. Do not regret but learn and move on, as someone much better is just around the next corner.

    You must try follow these: (be strong)

    1) Abide by no contact, ignorance is bliss so don't go near the 'grape vine'
    2) Work on yourself entirely - hobbies, work, gym
    3) Ever wanted to do something in your life? Nows the time
    4) Spend more time with your friends and family and renew old social ties
    5) Box every memory away and stay away from your fav songs for now - when you can look at it without feeling ill -

    Ur halfway there!
    6) Time does heal :P It just takes a god dam while, but don't mope at home, go out, party, exercise - helps a hell

    Of a lot

    You don't need anyone to be happy.

    The best revenge is to be happy yourself :]

    Forgive and move on.

    Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.

    Pay no attention to the faults of others,
    Things done or left undone by others.
    Consider only what by oneself is done or left undone.

    Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't

    Learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so, let us all be

    Thankful.

    You got to accept it. Delete everything and keep yourself busy. Here are things you can do right now:

    1) Delete all his contact details + block him
    2) Have a hot bath with nice scents
    3) Listen to some of your fav music
    4) Read a book
    5) Watch a film
    6) Go out and party
    7) Spend more time with your friends and family
    8) Have a good laugh + watch a comedy
    9) Go out for a drive with your best friends - put all the windows down and put on some loud music and SING - I

    Love doing this
    10) Don't SIT AROUND AND MOPE
    11) Get out of the house - Go for a walk, anything
    12) Join the gym + workout + have a sauna
    13) Book a holiday
    14) Try new things - meet new people, sign up for a course
    15) GO NO CONTACT NOW - STAY AWAY FROM THE GRAPE VINE, in time it will get easier but for now you need to keep

    Busy and block him
  • Jul 6, 2007, 01:19 PM
    woh337
    Exactly, Jsier , you are d*mn right!
  • Jul 6, 2007, 01:20 PM
    Inspired
    Still in love,
    You have received some great advice from this panel. Now is the time to focus on you. Someone recently told me "you are the most important person in your life". This is very true, therefore you must love yourself. I don't know how old you are but at any age it is tough. I am 29 and its still hard for me 3 months later. I went through the depression stage when I stayed in bed all weekend. One weekend, I decided that I'm going to go out. I planned a bunch of activities (including errands) and did them. I went to the mall, went for a movie, went to the beach, grocery shopping, and by the time I got home it was 9 pm. I was feeling great just to get out. Since then I do get down, but I do not get so depressed that I stay in bed all day. Try it, I know its hard. If you have a good friend, maybe she/he can do these things with you to make you feel better. DO everything you ever wanted to do. Treat yourself. Go get a nice massage or a pedicure. I know it hurts to be regected, but it's a part of life. Even some of the most beautiful women have been regected (Princess Diana was regected by prince Charles for some old ugly hag). So don't let it get you down. Be positive and productive. God bless...
  • Jul 6, 2007, 01:24 PM
    Jiser
    Your first and last love is yourself!
  • Jul 6, 2007, 01:50 PM
    serena6878
    Why to forget? People could not remember many past things although they were related to their happiness and sadness most in a specific period. Do not try hard to forget someone. Please look at him as a reason for you to become better and stronger.
  • Jul 6, 2007, 02:10 PM
    nicespringgirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by serena6878
    Why to forget? People could not remember many past things although they were related to their happiness and sadness most in a specific period. Do not try hard to forget someone. Please look at him as a reason for you to become better and stronger.

    Again, the things that don't kill you will make u stronger!!
  • Jul 6, 2007, 09:18 PM
    Dumped and still in love
    Thanks for all the suggestions. I made plans to spend the whole day out with friends. I hope it'll make me feel better.

    Someone asked how old I am. Well, I'm 20 and so is he. And he was my first boyfriend.
  • Jul 6, 2007, 09:25 PM
    huno
    They say the first one's the hardest to forget...

    Well, know that you will get over it. It takes a while, sometimes a very long time, but you will eventually get over it.

    There are a number of ways people get over past relationships:

    1) Do things that you want to do, regardless of social or psychological inhibitions (so long as they're not self-destructive),
    2) Talk to close friends who are willing to listen to you vent and release your frustrations, and
    3) Stand outside the door of your house and jump on the next guy that walks by.

    Any of these should be fine. But just remember that it WILL pass, just give it time.


    --huno

    P.S.: so where is your house and what time are you there? :D
  • Jul 7, 2007, 12:15 AM
    diya
    Everything happens for a reason. Few months down the line, you will see this as something that enhanced your perspective towards life and relationships. It's hard to forget someone you once shared some beautiful moments with, so I won't say forget him, rather cherish the memories and keep moving. Do not let it bog you down. He had his own reasons to get away, u should have your own reasons to LIVE... laugh and mould yourself into a stronger person. Each of us goes through this... and I look at everything as temporary.. nothing even if you had tried to stay together longer, if didn't have to happen, it didn't. So move on buddy... keep meeting new friends and live IT.

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