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-   -   SWANS-Strong Women Achievers, No Spouse (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=107264)

  • Jul 6, 2007, 05:32 AM
    woh337
    SWANS-Strong Women Achievers, No Spouse
    Statistics shows that smart, successful women marry at the same rates as other women, assuring millions of American SWANS (Strong Women Achievers, No Spouse) that they have no reason to doubt themselves.
    For a generation of SWANS -- Strong Women Achievers, No Spouse -- these myths have become conventional wisdom. If you attended a good school, have an impressive job, have career aspirations or dream of future success, men will find you less attractive. "I've been told by well-meaning relatives: 'Don't talk about work on a date, dumb it down, and it's bad to earn so much money because guys will be scared of you.' And I got the word 'intimidating' a lot," said Alexis, a 35-year-old lawyer in San Francisco.


    Is that really a problem for guys to date overachieving women?

    Thanks!:rolleyes:
  • Jul 6, 2007, 05:38 AM
    NeedKarma
    I married a lawyer. I've never dated dumb girls - can't stand them.
    I think the acronym is silly. Many women decide never to marry or have children though I'm not how many go it by choice.
  • Jul 6, 2007, 05:56 AM
    woh337
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by NeedKarma
    I married a lawyer. I've never dated dumb girls - can't stand them.
    I think the acronym is silly. Many women decide never to marry or have children though I'm not how many go it by choice.

    Good for you!
    SOme successful and good looking women are actually disappointed on how men get scared off them.
    Thank you for your response, I am glad that u only date smart ladies, u must be a really smart man, I think!;)
  • Jul 14, 2007, 07:46 PM
    nicespringgirl
    Tear it up! Simple answer-Yes, as far as I have seen, it is a problem for guys to date overachieving women. I am still hope some really mature men have got over with it!
    Good like to SWANS!:) ( I think I am one of them)
  • Jul 14, 2007, 07:47 PM
    nicespringgirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by NeedKarma
    I married a lawyer. I've never dated dumb girls - can't stand them.
    I think the acronym is silly. Many women decide never to marry or have children though I'm not how many go it by choice.

    What are you then? :rolleyes:
  • Jul 14, 2007, 08:13 PM
    NeedKarma
    A strong, self-assured guy. And a great daddy. :)
  • Jul 15, 2007, 09:36 AM
    jillianleab
    If you are on a date with a guy who is intimidated by your success, you probably don't want to go on a second date. There's no reason to dumb yourself down to get a boyfriend. There are men out there who respect and prefer intelligent, strong women. I should know, I married one! :)
  • Jul 15, 2007, 11:05 AM
    talaniman
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by NeedKarma
    A strong, self-assured guy. And a great daddy. :)

    That's who strong females marry, or should.
  • Jul 15, 2007, 05:14 PM
    Inspired
    Men (even successful ones) want a woman who will be there when they get home. I don't mean to say that men want uneducated women that are going to stay at home and cook and clean. Men just don't want to be with women that are busier than they are.. I am attractive, have a masters degree and am very successful in my career, travel a lot for work, and still run into educated men that want someone who is "less busy". I don't believe that smart men are intimidated by smart, successful, beautiful women. I however do see some of these women that hold their nose up so high in the air that men are not so much "indimidated" by them but just turned off by them.
  • Jul 15, 2007, 05:45 PM
    nicespringgirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Inspired
    Men (even successful ones) want a woman who will be there when they get home. I dont mean to say that men want uneducated women that are going to stay at home and cook and clean. Men just dont want to be with women that are busier than they are.. I am attractive, have a masters degree and am very successful in my career, travel alot for work, and still run into educated men that want someone who is "less busy". I dont believe that smart men are intimidated by smart, successful, beautiful women. I however do see some of these women that hold their nose up so high in the air that men are not so much "indimidated" by them but just turned off by them.

    I agree,but in real life even successful men prefer secetary type ladies, ones that are smart but NOT TOO SMART. It's not fair for good women who work hard on their way up. I understand women like us who are well educated and have to travel a lot for work, there are just tons for work for us. I am sure you have to work a bit after you get back to hotel every now and then. We are just so busy that there is almost no chance to meet men. Inspired,it's a good point not to hold nose to high in the air!
    Woh 337, I am glad to bring this topic up!:)
  • Jul 15, 2007, 05:51 PM
    Jiser
    Everyone has their own personal likes and dislikes. I don't think it would nessarily matter to me what a partner does just somebody I can talk to intelligently and has something actually going for them.
  • Jul 15, 2007, 05:55 PM
    nicespringgirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Jiser
    Everyone has their own personal likes and dislikes. I don't think it would nessarily matter to me what a partner does just somebody I can talk to intelligently and has something actually going for them.

    NOt many men think like you are. It's mature to think like you do!
    Many men can't get over with women being bread winners and overachieving, witty,powerful nowadays.sigh...
  • Jul 15, 2007, 07:40 PM
    jillianleab
    Quote:

    Many men can't get over with women being bread winners
    Heh, my hubby WISHES I was the bread winner! He'd kill for me to be his "sugar mama" instead of the other way around!
  • Jul 15, 2007, 07:46 PM
    nicespringgirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by jillianleab
    Heh, my hubby WISHES I was the bread winner! He'd kill for me to be his "sugar mama" instead of the other way around!

    That actually bothers me too-if my future man wants me to be bread winner, I hope both of us work hard, be independent!
  • Jul 15, 2007, 07:49 PM
    nicespringgirl
    Read this book
    Amazon.com: Why Smart Men Marry Smart Women: Books: Christine Whelan
  • Jul 15, 2007, 10:44 PM
    huno
    Inspired makes a great point. When I marry, I want ONE of us to stay home and raise the kids... I don't want the kids brought up by a nanny or a relative or whomever. I don't care which of us stays home, but given my career I'm pretty sure I'm the one who's going to be working.
  • Jul 16, 2007, 06:44 AM
    jillianleab
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by nicespringgirl
    That actually bothers me too-if my future man wants me to be bread winner, I hope both of us work hard, be independent!

    He's just joking. Right now he works his butt off so I can stay home and be a full time student. The point in that is so hopefully someday my earning potential will allow HIM to quit working for three years, as I have done. Or at the very least, so my earning potential can allow us to save for a nice, cushy, early retirement.
  • Jul 16, 2007, 07:57 AM
    nicespringgirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by jillianleab
    He's just joking. Right now he works his butt off so I can stay home and be a full time student. The point in that is so hopefully someday my earning potential will allow HIM to quit working for three years, as I have done. Or at the very least, so my earning potential can allow us to save for a nice, cushy, early retirement.

    Yup, way to go!:)
  • Jul 16, 2007, 08:01 AM
    nicespringgirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by huno
    Inspired makes a great point. When I marry, I want ONE of us to stay home and raise the kids... I don't want the kids brought up by a nanny or a relative or whomever. I don't care which of us stays home, but given my career I'm pretty sure I'm the one who's gonna be working.

    Good for you, I hope you find the perfect one.
  • Jul 16, 2007, 09:56 AM
    talaniman
    Quote:

    Or at the very least, so my earning potential can allow us to save for a nice, cushy, early retirement.
    I retired early because I had a hard working smart female who wanted me to kick my feet up, and enjoy myself, and yes I do. I'm also a cheap baby sitter and great cook, that helps.:D

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