I'm 17 and live in Rhode Island. I was with my ex-fiance for 18 months and we were crazy in love. Then he had to move to Texas thanks to the army and we tried to make it work. At first everything was fine but things got rocky when he got home sick. After a while we ended up slowly talking less and then he would call me but I wouldn't always answer and we broke up. He tried to move on and I just sit here in love with him.Now he is in Cali and waiting to go back to Texas and asked me to move down there to marry him and live there with him. He just turned 20. He seems to think he has everything planned out and I really do love him but I'm not sure if we should get married because we're both young and have so much life to live even though we both want the same things in life.:(

I got married at 19. I'd been with the guy since I was 15. Am now 24 and still happily married. He joined the navy and was away a lot while we were dating but it still worked out for us. I don't regret getting married so young. As long as you know in your heart that he really loves you and you really love him, then you'll be fine

Hello.

Only you know in your heart if its Love or Lust. I have a problem with the drifting apart, people that are in Love don't just drift apart. They might break up due to problems and then work them out but to drift apart makes me think that maybe your both in Lust. Being single and alone makes people want each other but unless your both going to give 110% its not going to work.

Good Luck
Dennis777

Hey.
I understand where you are coming from. I am the one in the military actually, and my fiancé would be the one following me. But you have to know what you are doing! If you are doubtful now, you will be doubtful later. Either you really want to go and you know in your gut that it is the right thing to do; or it's not right for you. I mean, are you ready to leave home and move across the country for this man? But then, moving would mean you are an adult and you can make decisions for yourself. I am getting married when I get back from my AIT. Then he's going to follow me to where ever I get stationed. But I'm ready for marriage. And I'm 19 (just in case you were wondering, lol). I want him to be there for me and I want to be there for him, and hopefully everything will be OK. But take your time and figure things out before you say yes or no. Maybe there are things in your life right now that are making you decision harder. Maybe you should go and visit him and see how things go before you decide. You might feel different when you are with him then across the country. But go with your gut and do what you think is right for YOU. If you aren't ready. THEN YOU Aren't READY!!
GOOD LUCK TO YOU!!
funkandwagnalles

I think you are being very honest and realistic. If your love is true, marriage can wait until you are ready in your heart of hearts. Lots of people get married young and it works. Lots of people get married young and it doesn't work. Let's face it... lots of people get married when they are older and it doesn't work! The sad fact is, the younger that you get married the bigger your chances are of the marriage ending in divorce. For many people who marry young, that divorce happens in their 50's and 60's!

I do think that you should only get married for the right reasons. You don't get married because you miss someone. It really does sound like you aren't ready yet and that doesn't necessarily mean that you love him any less than if you wanted to marry him tonight! It means you want to take your time, live some life, experience some experiences, plan for the future and think everything out.

It also sounds like you may not have dated anyone else, and that could be tough as you mature. I hope he understands how much thought you are giving this situation. Perhaps if you both make a list of the pros and the cons of getting married, then sit together and discuss your lists it would help?

Bottom line is, you both have to be ready for such a serious step and you aren't yet, so it's okay to wait. If he loves you he will accept that.

Hugs, Didi

You may be in Love, but why hurry? Life has a way of beating up young lovers who have yet to deal with pit falls that can drag you down before you have stood on your own. Did you say he was in the service? Then count on money problems... moving away from your family.. no friends, possibly no job. You just sit around all day or get pregnant before he leaves on tour so now you raise the children on your own. Remember, when he's gone on duty, your alone. Are you ready to be alone that much and newly married? Just know its going to be hard with being so young. At 17 you are likely to have only a High School diploma? Have you ever lived on your own?

I suggest you should wait until your 25 before thinking marriage, and then if you’re still together... then if you want, marry him. Wait on kids until your at least 25 and have a decent income to support and raise them... just think ahead for a second... what do you want out of life? What would be so horrible if you just took your time? My wife and I waited six years to get engaged and although our marriage is not perfect. We love each other very much. Everyone has problems. I live near a naval base and it’s very hard on the families. They sacrifice so much for all of us. Yet their marriages are harder than most due to the separation issues. It’s just when you’re so young you have so little experience to deal with them.. I wish you both the best no matter what you choose. I'm sure your both very loving people. God Bless.

I got married married when I was 19 years old, taking vows is a serious thing, I would advice courtship first

We plan on getting married this month but because I'm 17 I need my mom to sign parental consent forms and I don't know how to find out if she can do it without being in Tx with me. I need help!!

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Originally Posted by superscared

I'm 17 and live in Rhode Island. I was with my ex-fiance for 18 months and we were crazy in love. Then he had to move to Texas thanks to the army and we tried to make it work. At first everything was fine but things got rocky when he got home sick. After a while we ended up slowly talking less and then he would call me but I wouldn't always answer and we broke up. He tried to move on and I just sit here in love with him.Now he is in Cali and waiting to go back to texas and asked me to move down there to marry him and live there with him. He just turned 20. He seems to think he has everything planned out and i really do love him but I'm not sure if we should get married because we're both young and have so much life to live even tho we both want the same things in life.:(

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Do what your heart is telling you

My hearts telling me to be with him and let myself be happy. But I don't know how to let my mom know that this is truly what I want and she hasn't been there for me through my life so she shouldn't be telling me NO when I basically raised me and my sisters. And my dad would disown me but I will do anything to be with him. He makes living worth the hassle. He's the biggest influence in my life, my biggest hero and my best friend.

I got married at 17, my hubby was 19. Two years later we are still happily married. It was very hard at the beginning. Everyone thought we weren't going to make it. But we did and we still are.

If you feel this guy is the ONE and you are willing to LOVE, RESPECT and always be with the person, than why not. But remember to go to school. Get an education. And there is no hurry for kids. Enjoy yourselves!

Good Luck :)