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-   -   Heart broken (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=107184)

  • Jul 5, 2007, 07:13 PM
    jazzbabie
    Heart broken
    Hey everybody I relli need help on this one... ok so I been dating this man and its been quite some time and honestly I'm in love with him and he's about 28 and I'm 20.. I may be expecting a baby.. not excatly sure yet.. nd he on the other hand just totally changed he's not how he was when we first met and to top it all off he's getting married to some girl tat his mother what's for him... wat should I do
    Leave him... its way to hard
    Or be with him till he gets married
    And it just relli hurts because in my first realionship I was with someone for about 3 years who just got up and left and married someone
    And it feels like its happening all over again I don't know what to do this time
    Bt I'm so scared to let go.. its hard to be without him
    Plezz write back
  • Jul 5, 2007, 07:57 PM
    chuff
    What country are you from?

    Is his marriage arranged?
  • Jul 5, 2007, 08:13 PM
    Dennis777
    Hello.

    Im sending you a great Big Hug...

    I know its going to be hard but the longer you wait the harder it will be to leave. This Guy is a total jerk, you can do so much better. I know there are Men out there that would treat you like the special lady you are.

    Good Luck
    Dennis777
  • Jul 5, 2007, 08:20 PM
    jazzbabie
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Dennis777
    Hello.

    Im sending you a great Big Hug...

    I know its going to be hard but the longer you wait the harder it will be to leave. This Guy is a total jerk, you can do so much better. I know there are Men out there that would treat you like the special lady you are.

    Good Luck
    Dennis777

    Ya but its just so hard now to let go... after everythin we been threw and I did try to leave but its like he doesn't want me to leave and he's just kind of leaving me stuck in the middle
    ... nd I kind of give up tat there are great men out there... well mabie there are but I just always have a hard time in finding them
    And it was very sweet of what you wrote
  • Jul 6, 2007, 02:39 PM
    talaniman
    The best thing to do is leave him alone and move on as he is about to be married. Are you sure your pregnant?
  • Jul 6, 2007, 04:30 PM
    jazzbabie
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by talaniman
    The best thing to do is leave him alone and move on as he is about to be married. Are you sure your pregnant?

    You I rell I want to leave but its just so hard... ya I'm sure I am and just be to extra sure I'm going to get a blood test next week .but you know in a way I wish I could keep this baby.I mean having a child is the most greatest joy a women can get... and to think that I have to get rid of it.. I feel horriblie and I think I will for the rest of my life knowing that I had to kill something so beautiful.. something that could one day grow up and call me mom and become someone one day and I always though tat everyone has a right to see and experience this world for all the good and bad that it has.. but then I think its life and there are always some things you have to do.. even when you don't want to.. and it just really sucks big time.. :(
  • Jul 6, 2007, 09:34 PM
    franklin girl
    I can't speak from experience on being with someone who is getting married but I can speak for the being left with a child issue. I was married 5 yrs and my ex left me about a month after our child turned 1. The moral is that it doesn't matter how much you love the guy the child is the most important thing in this equation. They don't choose their parents and the circumstances they are born into so we have to make those choices for them. I would never tell someone what to do in this scenario but I would say this decision means a lot more than whether you stay with this guy. When and if you find out your pregnant you will learn through reading or talking with people you know that you will naturally want to hold on to everything that is familiar (including him) because all the sudden your entire mindset will change so its nice to have at least one thing that you can count on. In your case it sounds like he may want to have his cake and eat it too literally. Having a child should be one of the greatest (if not the greatest) times in your life and it is a shame that your have to be concerned whether the father of your child is going to be there or not. I have learned through experience in these matters we are always a lot stronger than we think we are and in the end you will have the best part of him in your child and it is okay if that doesn't include a relationship between you two because there is a man out there who will love you and your child (if you are pregnant) the way you deserved to be loved.

    We all deserve to be with someone that love's us and only us!
  • Jul 7, 2007, 06:44 AM
    jazzbabie
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by franklin girl
    I can't speak from experience on being with someone who is getting married but I can speak for the being left with a child issue. I was married 5 yrs and my ex left me about a month after our child turned 1. The moral is that it doesn't matter how much you love the guy the child is the most important thing in this equation. They don't choose their parents and the circumstances they are born into so we have to make those choices for them. I would never tell someone what to do in this scenario but I would say this decision means a lot more than whether you stay with this guy. When and if you find out your pregnant you will learn through reading or talking with people you know that you will naturally want to hold on to everything that is familiar (including him) because all the sudden your entire mindset will change so its nice to have at least one thing that you can count on. In your case it sounds like he may want to have his cake and eat it too literally. Having a child should be one of the greatest (if not the greatest) times in your life and it is a shame that your have to be concerned whether the father of your child is going to be there or not. I have learned through experience in these matters we are always a lot stronger than we think we are and in the end you will have the best part of him in your child and it is okay if that doesn't include a relationship between you two because there is a man out there who will love you and your child (if you are pregnant) the way you deserved to be loved.

    We all deserve to be with someone that love's us and only us!

    Im so sorry to hear that.. ya your right and having a child is one of the most beautiful things a women can go threw... and even though you'll go threw pain for about 9 months in the end when you have something tat is better then anything in the whole world. That you can just hold.. u would say nothing else matters.. and honestly I do want this baby but just having the fear of no father makes me feel relli bad.. because I know how it feels like not to have a dad... but when you said Having a child should be one of the greatest (if not the greatest) times in your life and it is a shame that your have to be concerned whether the father of your child is going to be there or not. I have learned through experience in these matters we are always a lot stronger than we think we are and in the end you will have the best part of him in your child and it is okay if that doesn't include a relationship between you two because there is a man out there who will love you and your child (if you are pregnant) the way you deserved to be loved.made me feel like your right that there is someone mabie out there who will accept me and my child in their life... thank you so much for saying that... just by hearing tat it made me feel a lot better

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