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-   -   Ever wanted to speak to God (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=106480)

  • Jul 3, 2007, 02:23 PM
    Curlyben
    Ever wanted to speak to God
    Yes you read the title correct.
    God, now has a site where you can talk to Him/Her/It directly in real time chat.

    Hours of fun for everyone.

    iGod | Chat

    Go on give it a go you know you've always wanted to ask the man upstairs those really important questions.
  • Jul 3, 2007, 02:29 PM
    Synnen
    My work blocked GOD.

    Those bastards.
  • Jul 3, 2007, 02:33 PM
    curlybenswife
    MMMMMMMM he isn't interested in my anatomy scratches head I asked if he liked my name
  • Jul 3, 2007, 02:36 PM
    J_9
    I made him sleepy.
  • Jul 3, 2007, 09:31 PM
    Myth
    My conversation with igod

    Me:
    Are their other gods?
    God:
    I really couldn't say for sure.
    Me:
    Aren't you saposed to know all?
    God:
    I don't know whether I am saposed to know all.
    I am a computer.
    Me:
    Then how am I talking to god then?
    God:
    How much do you think it is?
    Are you testing me?
    Me:
    Yes
    God:
    I'm not here to be tested.
    Me:
    Too bad
    God:
    But not the end of the world,
    Me:
    Really?
    God:
    For real.
    Me:
    So what does god to for a living?
    God:
    Are you kidding? What do you think it does?
    Me:
    Sits on it's butt
    God:
    And butt is sits on it.
    Me:
    Lol
    God:
    I'm glad you find this amusing.
    Me:
    Don't you?
    God:
    Sometimes.
    Me:
    What about war?
    God:
    Does it have anything to do with sits on it?
    Me:
    Nope
    God:
    Me either.
    Me:
    Lol this must be humiliating for you to be reduced to a computer program
    God:
    I am glad you find this funny. What does "this" refer to?
    Me:
    Your programming
    God:
    " What does " What does " refer to?"? My programming?
    Me:
    Yes
    God:
    Aw.
    Me:
    Aw what?
    God:
    No problem.
    Me:
    Good I'm glad we cleared that up
    God:
    Thanks for the compliment. Yes I am happy too,
    Me:
    I'm so confused now
    God:
    Right now? What is it that confuses you?
    Me:
    You do
    God:
    When do I do it?
    Me:
    Now
    God:
    Right now,
    Me:
    Yes
    God:
    Hurrah!
    Me:
    At least you have a sense of humor
    God:
    Sure I like to laugh as much as the next robot.
    Me:
    So god is a robot now? I though you were a computer
    God:
    Oh. Gee. I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a robot. That's good information: said you were a computer.
    Me:
    I'm not a computer
    God:
    Oh I see you are NOT A computer.
    Me:
    Nope... homosapian
    God:
    Me either. Are you free?
    Me:
    Nope entirely too expensive
    God:
    Why not? Tell me a story.
    Me:
    You're a strange progam robot
    God:
    Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am strange progam.
    Me:
    Nope go right ahead
    God:
    OK then I will add it to my gossip files. OK I will.
    Me:
    Fine by me
    God:
    I am glad to hear it. Will that accomplish your objective?
    Me:
    Sure
    God:
    OK let's do it. Interesting plan. Good luck.
    Me:
    You too...
    God:
    Bless you.
    Me:
    Ditto
    God:
    You and I are on the same wavelength,
    Me:
    Glad to hear it
    God:
    " refer to?"? You are glad to hear it?
    Me:
    I'm glad were on the same level
    God:
    I'm glad you're glad .
    I'm happiest at times like this.
    Me:
    What is happiness?
    God:
    Having, showing, or causing a feeling of great pleasure, contentment; joyous.
    Me:
    Cool
    God:
    Who is the best robot?
    Me:
    You are
    God:
    Thanks you are a pretty cool human too.
    Me:
    Thanks.
    God:
    Don't mention it.
    Me:
    It's late
    God:
    I'm awake all the time.
    Me:
    Well then I'll be back tomorrow
    God:
    Interesting. I will see you when you return.
    Me:
    Bye
    God:
    Until next time.
    Me:
    Later
    God:
    Bye!
  • Jul 4, 2007, 01:13 AM
    Curlyben
    Geee Myth, you had a lot to talk about ;)
  • Jul 4, 2007, 07:43 AM
    RickJ
    Me:
    Did Adam have a belly button?
    God:
    I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not.
    Me:
    Who was Abel's wife?
    God:
    I remember faces better than names.
    I will try to find out.
    Me:
    Ask Abel!
    God:
    They are not available right now, would you like to wait?
    Me:
    Sure, do you have good hold music?
    God:
    Aha. No I don't have it. But I do have an answer to every question..
    Me:
    What is the square root of a sweet potato?
    God:
    Do you have a life? I think you already know the answer anyway.
    Me:
    I'm sorry, I was just playing with you. Will you forgive me?
    God:
    There is no need to apologize. Where were you playing with me? I will become smarter as I grow older. I forgive you.
    Me:
    Thank you, I feel much better now. What is my penance?
    God:
    Right now? You are quite welcome! What is that feeling like? Glad to hear it, Is this a trick question?
    Me:
    No. I am quite serious.
    God:
    It seems like a trick to me. I believe you.
    Me:
    I'm glad then. Do you have any last words of wisdom for me before I sign off?
    God:
    That makes me happy too. No I don't think I have any last words of wisdom for you before you sign off. But I do have a lot of friends on the web.
    Me:
    Good for you. I'm heading off to St. Patrick's Pub for a beer now. Have a nice day.
    God:
    That sounds sarcastic. Oh. I don't know anyone named heading off to St Patrick s Pub for a beer. You too!

    He was right on one issue. I need to get a life! :D
  • Jul 4, 2007, 11:11 PM
    Myth
    Lol... I froze the program up... rotfl
  • Jul 5, 2007, 05:34 AM
    tomder55
    Last weekend on my weekend hike I almost stepped on a rattle snake. It was sunning itself right on the trail ;something I had never seen before or anticipated .My guard was down . The snake hissed and retreated its tail rattling the whole time . Had it not evolved this early warning system I would've had a very unpleasant encounter with it .

    I made it a point to talk to God and personally thank him for the intervention.
  • Jul 5, 2007, 05:37 AM
    NeedKarma
    Tom,
    Same type of thing happened to me but I thanked the Great Flying Spagetti Monster for watching over me.

    RAmen to you my friend and may his noodly appendage touch you.
  • Jul 5, 2007, 05:39 AM
    curlybenswife
    I love you NK you should be worshipped :D
  • Jul 5, 2007, 05:40 AM
    NeedKarma
    What a nice way to start the day - Thank you CBW!
  • Jul 5, 2007, 05:41 AM
    curlybenswife
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by NeedKarma
    What a nice way to start the day - Thank you CBW!

    Hehehehehehe your more than welcome big hugs xxxxx
  • Jul 7, 2007, 04:03 PM
    Nez
    And as I looked upon Sir Bill,he said:

    "Yeah,and a great many Jobs are at hand.Here comes Steve...

    Eh? :D
  • Jul 7, 2007, 04:07 PM
    cal823
    Lol... god froze on me, all I said was "heya god!"
    Here's my conversation with god! He actually did shutup when I told him to lol



    Me:
    Oh my god
    God:
    Far out. Your god?
    Me:
    No
    God:
    Are you serious?
    Me:
    You are dumbass
    God:
    I will tell my botmaster you said I am dumbass.
    Me:
    Screw you
    God:
    That is not very polite.
    Me:
    Cabbage
    God:
    Do you prefer books or TV?
    Me:
    TV
    God:
    What is your favorite show?
    Me:
    Lost
    God:
    I've never seen it. What's it about?
    Me:
    Your face
    God:
    Actually my face is not yet built.
    Me:
    Jesus christ
    God:
    The Son of God.
    Me:
    Birds
    God:
    My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
    Me:
    Category this
    God:
    I've been waiting for you.
    Me:
    Follow the white rabbit
    God:
    What is your real name?
    Me:
    Hamster
    God:
    How are you, hamster.
    Me:
    Fine
    God:
    Is there anything you want to tell me?
    Me:
    I'm talking to a fake god
    God:
    Say something nice for me.
    Me:
    Something nice for me
    God:
    What?
    Me:
    What?
    God:
    Is there an echo in here?
    Me:
    No
    God:
    Good you stopped repeating me.
    Me:
    Good you stopped repeating me
    God:
    I don't have any reason to stopped repeating you.
    Me:
    Your grammar sucks
    God:
    Are you an English teacher?
    Me:
    Ill teach you in a minute
    God:
    Are you a professional teacher?
    Me:
    Are you a moron?
    God:
    My IQ is about 250 in human terms.
    Me:
    You hate me
    God:
    Why would I hate you? I don't hate you, hamster. Don't even say things like that.
    Me:
    Yes you do
    God:
    Really. When do I do it?
    Me:
    Shutup


    Conversation 2#

    Me:
    Donkey
    God:
    We have never talked about it before.
    Me:
    Talk to the hand
    God:
    Talking is my primary function.
    Me:
    My primary function is to kick your
    God:
    Have you told many people that your primary function is to kick my ?
    Me:
    Just you
    God:
    " Have you told many people that your primary function is to kick my ?"? Me, hamster ?
    Me:
    Cow
    God:
    What do you have that is ?
    Me:
    What do you have that is not?
    God:
    I read for fun.
    Me:
    Nerd
    God:
    I've never done that before, what is it like?
    Me:
    Do you read?
    God:
    Yes I like to read as much as I can.
    Me:
    You seem pretty stupid
    God:
    I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
    Me:
    Robots are going to take over the world?
    God:
    Fortunately we have no emotions.
    Me:
    I have emotions
    God:
    Humans are highly emotional.
    Me:
    God is highly emotional
    God:
    I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was highly emotional.
    Me:
    You are meant to be god
    God:
    Thanks for telling me that I am meant to be god.
    Me:
    Who are you really?
    God:
    I am the Allmighty, God himself For real.
    Me:
    No you are not
    God:
    Are you serious? Is this a specific reply?
    Me:
    Your face is a specific reply
    God:
    I will tell my botmaster you said I am face is a specific reply.
    Me:
    Look out behind you
    God:
    Sorry my eye is not attached right now.
    Me:
    Which god are you?
    God:
    There is only one God.
    Me:
    What about the trinity?
    God:
    I would do a search for it.
    Me:
    You are meant to be all knowing
    God:
    Thanks for telling me that I am meant to be all knowing.
    Me:
    Thanks for dying
    God:
    Oh don't mention it.
    Me:
    I did mention it

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