Simply put...

Has anyone ever been in a relationship that ended because of constant behavior problems with one of the children?

No.

Relationship can be difficult on its own, but it is important that relationships are worked on harder when children are involved. Children can be challenging but in no way should it ever end a relationship.

This is just my opinion.

Joe

I know of several that have. This is one reason it is important to raise the kiddos before moving on to another relationship.

I have had a relationship end because of my girlfriends kids behavior problem. She had a 4 year old and my son was 1 at the time. Her son just to hit up on mine and then she would not even discipline him. We dated about 6 months and she would tell me to discipline her son. I didn't really feel right doing it because he wasn't mine. His father was never around and has never seen him. I tried to discipline him once but then she got on to me for it. I just figured it was a lost cause and I had to end it. I tried really hard to accept him as one of my own as she did to accept to my child. Things just got too hard and he was way beyond my control.

Hello.

What type of problems... How old... Your child or step.

Relationships end because of kids all the time. Kids make things tougher, and change priorities.

Sounds like your ex wasn't too interested in being a mom, though. A 4 year old needs limitations and needs those limitations enforced consistently.

Update to responses: 7/5/07

He is my stepson and is 15 (we also have 2 girls age 13 (stepdaughter) & 8). He has ADHD and behavior issues. Up until this last year I was the primary parent as his father worked nights. He is on medication which helps & of course counseling. It has gotten to the point that I am exhausted, fed up and generally don't like to be around him. I can't help but feel as though I have failed in trying to help him. I love my family and don't want to leave but I don't want to be there anymore either. :(

When you married his father, you also married his kids, including the ADHD.

In addition to the medication and counseling, is there any behavior modification support? What type of support (behavioral or otherwise) is he receiving in school?

For someone with ADHD, structure and consistency are key. Throw in the fact that he is 15, there also needs to be someway to integrate personal responsibility (as a means of fostering self esteem).

My recommendation is to find out what local supports/resources are available to you and your family before throwing in the towel. If you leave, you may be relieved of the challenge of dealing with a child with ADHD but it will be replaced with a host of other challenges for your other kids.

Oh yeah, take some time to take care of yourself. Just because your constantly faced with the challenges of a child with ADHD doesn't mean that it should dictate your reality. I know... easier said than done.

Ask your husband for some support to carve out some time just for you. Make sure that the plan is something realistic so that it can actually occur. Start with something small like an hour to yourself to read your favorite book, hang out with girlfriends, take a walk, etc...

**It is nearly impossible to take care of others if we don't take care to keep ourselves healthy (both mental and physical) first.

Good Luck and hand in there..