Hi--i have just walked out of an abusive marriage of 15 yrs--with a daughter--am barely making ends meet--i came to another city and became friends with a couple--the man had sought me from the net--slowly I became close to his wife too--ow I feel I am in love with him--he expressed a desire to have sex with me but I declined as my husband too cheated on me and I don't want to do the same to another woman--i feel a chemistry with this man--we had some stolen moments when we kissed--etc as I have been away since 7 months with no sex and I do have needs--i feel guilty doing thi sto his wife and keep showering her with gifts--but he is unhappy in his marriage as she often speaks to me--he doesn't say so--the way he caters for his family I like because my husband left me penniless-he will never leave his family for me neither do I want him to-as I don't want to get be labeled a home wrecker-i am slowly withdrawing away from him as I don't trust myself and may land up in bed in a weak moment and feel guilty all my life--pl help me tide over this--maybe I have no one else so I look up to him for comfort--hes a woman charmer no doubt and has a roving eye--am aware of all that but he has a charisma I can't resist--i fantasize about him often and am am happy just watching him when we all go out together--they come over and I like doing things for him --am I going crazy--pl help me--i would be grateful if you would reply--thank you

The first thing that I would think about is the example that you would be setting for your daughter. The second thing that I would think about, as you have already mentioned, is your reputation. The third thing that I would think about is, remember what it was like when your husband cheated on you and the pain that it caused?

The things that I would ask yourself is, what did I learn by going through something like this before? Would I want another person to suffer as I did? What possible good will come of all of this if I do decide to have sexual relations with this man? How will the many others who are involved in my life, my daughter's life, the life of this couple and their family be affected by my actions?

There are reasons you are feeling guilty. They are good reasons. Please listen to the voices in your mind that tell you that getting involved with this man without including his wife would be a mistake.

That's my take on it anyhow. Hopefully others will add theirs based upon their experience and expertise.