Hi , I've been with my boyfriend for a year now and we have sex regularly. The problem is I'm finding it reali hard 2 get turned on but I don't understand because I think my boyfriend is very sexy. When I do get turned on (once in a blue moon)i still don't enjoy the sex. Sex is constsntly painfull and I don't know what to do about it. I have near to no desire 4 sex now because of all the pain its causing me.I reali want to enjoy sex with my boyfriend because I love him and want him to know that he is a great lover. His tried all sort of things and done loadsa research but the problem isn't him, its me. We have tried other things like fingering but I hate it.. I also hate touching myself because I feel nothing from it.
How can I improve my sex drive and how do I enjoy the intimacy?

Hello Shamy.

The first question is, why does it hurt. It could be a medical problem or as simple as using a lube.

My experience has shown me that a Lady starts her excitement in her mind then the excitement spreads to her body. If your not being fulfilled sexually mentally then your body is going to not respond.

If you want to look into this deeper let me know but in an open area like this we can't really talk openly.

Dennis777

How old are you and not to be too nosey have you seen a doctor about the pain??

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Originally Posted by Dennis777

Hello Shamy.

The first question is, why does it hurt. It could be a medical problem or as simple as using a lube.

My experience has shown me that a Lady starts her excitement in her mind then the excitement spreads to her body. If your not being fulfilled sexually mentally then your body is going to not respond.

If you want to look into this deeper let me know but in an open area like this we can't really talk openly.

Dennis777

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Erm I don't know why it would be painfull. I've had a few bad sexual experiences in the past and I don't know if their playing a part in this.I don't think lubricant is the problem because when my partner does seem to get me wet (lol)it still hurts. I do think its a lot to do with the mental part though because during intimacy my mind switches off and the idea of having sex becomes of no interest to me. I don't understand this because how can I be interested one minute and uninterested the next. I also seem to find myself tensing a lot of the times, I can't seem to let myself go but I feel 100% free and confident around my boyfriend.I would like to look into this please.

No I haven't, I don't want to go to my gp so where else could I go?

Maybe it's a problem from your past. Women that have been abused in someway or another have a problem being intimate. Be honest with yourself. If it's not physically wrong then its mentally. Talk with someone you trust.

OK girl how old are you and why are you doing this before marriage? Lol I believe that's wrong but oh well everybody is different as to your need for advice. Did you ever think the problem was with you and not him? U could have a literal medical problem and should ask a doctor. And if things continue like this its simple he just isn't the guy for you. Maybe consider the phrase " plenty of fish in the sea" it might be more useful than you thought. Respond if you want

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Originally Posted by AandZ4ever

ok gurl how old are u and why are u doing this before marriage? lol i beleive thats wrong but oh well everybody is different as to ur need for advice. did u ever think the problem was with u and not him? u could have a literal medical problem and should ask a doctor. and if things continue like this its simple he just isnt the guy for you. maybe consider the phrase " plenty of fish in the sea" it might be more useful than u thought. respond if u want

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Lol were ingaged if it helps. He is the one for me I no it. The problem is me but I don't know what 2 do about it. I will go 2 talk a doctor soon. And as for there's plenty of fish in the sea, there's a lot more to our relationship than just intamacy. I've had this problem eith my ex boyfriend too.

Need much foreplay and maybe he needs to be more gentle. Also maybe try astroglide suppose to be better than KY

I have the same problem! I am completely in love with my boyfriend, and I know that's an important part of enjoying sex, but there is nothing...
It's really disappointing and I get depressed from it. I have never experienced ANY sexual pleasure. I also can't really get turned on but I don't know why I think my boyfriend is really sexy.

But reply to this it would be nice to hear from someone w/ the same problem