And I don't think they're very good. Could people please read them and tell me if they are good? I appreciate any constructive criticism but if your one of those people who just like to insult other peoples work and be mean then don't even bother to read my poem or anser and tell me if it is good or not.

A Doomed Friendship

All I can do is think about you and your wonderful traits
Like the way you make me laugh which always feels great
The way your eyes shine when you face the light
Being around you just feels so right

The way your hair glistens in the sun
It's different so I always know where to run
I feel like our meeting was an absolute fate
Because we get along and we don't rate

The way your voice is so different from everyone else's
The way you try not to be too selfish
I think of you because it was meant to be
I wish you could just learn to see

The way you smile and can make anyone laugh
If you don't like me it will break my heart in half
But then again if it's not meant to be
Then I will nod OK so solemnly

And I will walk off alone and sad
But then again it won't be so bad
Because we'll still be friends at least I hope
Then there will be no reason to mope

Everything will turn out in the end
But we'll never be the same friends again
We can still talk and stuff like that
But when we're alone we can never just chat

But its OK soon we'll forget
Either that or I'll always regret
I still do now, I should've never told you
But already now our friendship is doomed


I found the answer (and I wish I hadn't)

You finally told me what I wanted to know
But I think I would've been better off not though
Instead I pushed the answer
And I wanted it to be the opposite of what it were

Now I sit here wishing I never told you
Then all this we wouldn't have had to go through
I would've been happy and nothing bad
But instead I ended up sad

I've lost all hope and now I'll never look for the answer
Because if I do all my words will slur
I'll be sad and hurt when I try
So I'll never ask you why

I shall never tell anyone how I feel
So I don't find out if it's fake or real
I found the answer but not the one I liked
So never again will I try so my heart doesn't get spiked


Thanks For Calling

Thanks for calling
As soon as I got done falling
I'm glad you see
How much it means to me

Thanks for caring and being so fun
When I get hurt you always run
Thanks for being a friend and checking on me
When something happens you don't flee

Thanks for calling
After I got done falling
I'm glad you see
How much it means to me


What could've been and what happened instead

I long for the day
When that special person walks my way
And he says I like you
Do u like me too

Then I say
You know it every day
And we'd be
So happy

But it seems that's never going to happen
So I tried on my own and
It didn't work as I planned
He said maybe and left my hand

I was all alone
Sitting in my home
When he called
And I stalled

Now we're just friends
Even to the end
But I wish it worked out
'Cus then I wouldn't have to pout

We talk on the phone and at school
We live by only friendship rules
All I'm still looking for
His answer or the door

But he'll never talk
Instead he just walks
But I mustn't push it or I will get no
So I'll leave it even if I don't want to though


What are true friends?

You will always have some friends that are true
True friends will always love you
But not in the way you would've thought
Don't you remember the happiness they brought

All those days when you were sad
They were there to make you glad
Those happy times you like to talk about
When all of you had to scream and shout

When you do something bad
They always have your back
They always try to help you when you're feeling down
They hate it when you cry or frown

They always stick by you through and through
Every time you're sad they're understanding towards you
So all those friends that are true
Make sure you keep them close to you

I think that your thoughts are excellent! Your rhyming is great and you stick with a consistent theme throughout each of your poems.

You do have a talent for writing poetry! But, I do fear that you will get into a rut and might get bored eventually because the form of the poems is so similar to each other. I.e. always ending a line with the rhyming words; each stanza being consistently four lines long.

One must remember that you're not writing the lyrics to songs here, so the rhythm is not of the utmost importance. But, I think that you could be a great one at writing lyrics once you have learned to write words that flow to a rhythm. I encourage you to try writing lyrics.

I'm just concerned that you are so creative and intense in the one form that you write, that I think that you might like to consider expanding your horizons some.

On the following site, you will find other ways to express yourself in your writing, so that your writing will have more variation and thus interest.

Shadow Poetry -- Resources -- Types of Poetry

Please keep up the great work and practice that you are doing with this! You never know how much your writing may have a positive influence on people now and someday. The influence that you make by what you write can make a difference in the world for the generations of people that come after you.

Thank you clough. I have been lloking on that site and will make some new poems and be sure to tell you when I put them on askmehelpdesk. Ttyl.

Again, you are very welcome! I look forward to you posting more!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Clough

Again, you are very welcome! I look forward to you posting more!

---

I wanted to be a writer. But writing is not a realistic thing.
I like poems, and I focus more on meaning than form.
I believe, there is a beautiful world in poets' heart.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by serena6878

I wanted to be a writer. But writing is not a realistic thing.
I like poems, and I focus more on meaning than form.
I believe, there is a beautiful world in poets' heart.

---

Writing, it's the real thing!
It shows the way people and the world are.
Also, it can be a mover of people
As well as nations.

Part of the reality of writing
Is what's in
The person's heart
Who is doing the writing.

When you write, you might
Make someone
Cry, laugh, angry or even...
Think.

When you write
The possibilities are endless...
You might just possibly transcend
The end of times because of what you have written...

Wars have been won
And also lost
Because of
The writings of a few...

Be careful in what you write.
Someone just might be needing
What you have chosen
To compose...

It could be a nation, the world,
Santa Claus
Or even...
Your mother!

You can be a poet and know it...
But,
Don't let it
Go to your head!

What you believe
Is what you perceive
To be the reality
Within your heart!

Do you need to
Be a professional writer in order
To make a difference?
I don't think so.

It is said that Beauty
Is in the eye of the beholder.
What is beautiful
May be the very thing that you write then...

The form doesn't
Have to be
What is most
Important.

The message can be clear
Or, even somewhat dull.
It's appearance and interpretation
Depend on what another thinks.

Does what you write
Have a rhythm?
A beat?
A rhyme?

These days
It doesn't really matter.
Is the message heard?
Is it understood?

Does it tell the truth?
Or even... a lie?

That is what matters.