Two years ago, I was diagnosed with schizophrenia. I did all the research on what it is. I don't believe that I have it. I was abused very badly on many occasions as a child and recently on jobs and by family members and people who I thought were my friends. I believe that it is just trauma from my past. My family is not helping one bit by giving me the impression that I am crazy. I thought about just ending it all. I get involved in many different things such as exercise, volunteering, going to church, and working on my dreams of becoming a fashion designer and writer. How can I really make all the pain from my past and feeling as though I'm being lied to go away?

Eventually you will get through all your past experiences and learn to trust people again. I'd talk to a psychologist and go through everything and learn from it. I guess the only person that can tell if you're crazy is someone who has seen many different kinds of people.

This is a very hard question to answer. As you may or may not know, the majority of people who have schizophrenia suffer from denial. They deny they have the disorder and usually blame their behavior on other people or other situations.

It is also very well known that people with this disorder usually begin experiencing it in their late teens or early 20s. And typically, a stressful situation or circumstance will manifest the schizophrenia.

How can you make the pain go away? That is the million dollar question with this disorder.

Are you on meds? If so, what kind and for how long?

Are you in therapy? If not, I would suggest that you do this.

Do you know why the schizophrenia diagnosis was given? -- what your symptoms were that led to that diagnosis?

Are you on meds for it? If so, are the drugs and your reaction to them being monitored? Are your thinking and behavior on them different from when you don't take them? Are you attending regular counseling sessions with a therapist who is working with you on getting past the past and on setting goals for the future?

You are an excellent writer, and you express your thoughts and feelings well. If you are doing well in the activities you mentioned, why does anyone think you are crazy?

How and what you're reporting don't match others' opinions and observations.

I have to agree with Wondergirl in a sense. Many people diagnosed with schizophrenia are usually very very intelligent.

Please answer her questions as well as mine so that we can help you better.