Ask Me Help Desk - I'm in love with her, but she has a boyfriend

Hi. I'm a 15 year old boy and I love this girl. I know I love this girl because I like her for who she is, and She is all I would want in a Woman. Some say I'm in love with myself but this is another human being and I really love her. I've known her for a good 4 years now and I've never asked her out, because I was afraid of the answer. We both talk to each other very much and it's not hard for me to express my feelings, but I'm not sure she likes me back. Now that she has a boyfriend because I was too scared to ask her out. I know it is all my fault but I have thrown out all regard of fear. I want to treat her out and slowly by slowly I can tell her how I feel. I think she has been dating this boyfriend for at least 2 weeks. Most relationships I see at my age don't last more than 2 weeks but she told me her relationship is great. I know that I have to act soon or I'll just have this big hole in my heart and It will be hell to get over it. I'm not fully sure of what I want to ask, but I just need help or advice on what to do and see perspectives from all angles on my predicament.

I really love this girl and I could wait years, its just that my heart hurts when I think she would be spending her life with another guy

I do know how you feel, and I can really sympathize with you. I truly know what it's like for a heart to hurt and that feeling you get in your gut when you just really want to be with someone. But, I do want to say that you are too young to be putting all of your effort into one person. Try out a lot of them. The way that you view your life and the things that you want out of it are going to change a lot big time over the next ten years or so.

You are correct about the relationships at your age maybe lasting for two weeks. It can be on again, off again in a flash.

I don't really think that someone is going to be choosing who they are going to be spending the rest of their lives with when they are in their early to mid teens.

You may think that you are in love with her. You may very well be. But, think about the love that older people have for each other who have been together for a long time in years. What do you think has held them together?

People can also love each other as friends.

You never know until you try. Just ask her out and suggest that the two of you do something about which you are both interested. If she says no, she says no. But, you know what? She may say yes at some later time! It could be a year from now. It could be five years from now. Asking people out just takes practice. You are going to have your failures in that. We all do. Might as well get started at it. There will also be many successes!

My point is, to keep your options open and not get so hung up on one person right now. You could have many girlfriends in the next many years until you find the one who is right for you.

Bless u! U sound well in to this girl. The thing is if you love her deeply you must ensure that she is happy, and if this guy she is with then as long as he treats her right you should be happy. You are still Young yet but loves strikes at any time in our lives. I know its hard and I guess you really want to be with her and prob feel you should tell her out right. Do you know if she like you 2? As a relationship need both of u 2 work it! Good luck and don't be afraid I hope you find some strength and guidance sorr I'm not much help.

Is it wrong if I blurt it out to her that I love her? Even if she has a boyfriend. I don't care about the answer anymore. It hurts. At first when I loved her with was like being in a sauna and my body was so hot and rushing with joy. Then when I almost had to courage to burst out and sprint into her, I come out only to find it winter and the cold air rushes and consumes me, and my heart is seething with frost burn. Is there a way to stop this? Is this why parents drink? Will it stop if I tell her or will it become worse and make me writhe in carnage and despair? I can't even cry about it, because the tears won't come. I've taken a 2 hour walk today and thought about all this but nothing seems to change it. I've lost all interest in video games now. Is there something wrong with me?

Ask her how she feels about you!!

Hey man when I was your age. I was in love as well.. in fact the first time I feel for a girl was when I was 5 years old! :) I have always been in love so to speak. The feeling of wanting something or being close to someone.. its annoying!

Hehe.. but I totally understand.. I think you should just be a friend to her.. don't try and break them up.. letting her know your true feelings now.. will be like making her having 2 boys. I doubt she will leave the other guy.. at this stage.. because its new and its fun.. so give it time my friend you have waited this long.. and if and when this relationship brakes up.. give it some time before asking her out..

Ok but is it OK if I ask her how she feels about me ?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Skrypt

Ok but is it ok if I ask her how she feels about me ?

I think that it's perfectly okay to tell her how you feel about her and also ask her if she would like to do something with you. You will not know anything about the possibilities with her until you try.

Nothing is "set in stone" concerning personal relationships on a permanent basis with people your age.

Some people date a few people at the same time. Nothing unusual about it. When I was in college, I went out on a date with one girl on one week and then a different girl on the next week.

Go for it, man! We only live once!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Skrypt

Is it wrong if I blurt it out to her that I love her? Even if she has a boyfriend. I don't care about the answer anymore. It hurts. At first when I loved her with was like being in a sauna and my body was so hot and rushing with joy. Then when I almost had to courage to burst out and sprint into her, I come out only to find it winter and the cold air rushes and consumes me, and my heart is seething with frost burn. Is there a way to stop this? Is this why parents drink? Will it stop if I tell her or will it become worse and make me writhe in carnage and despair? I can't even cry about it, because the tears wont come. I've taken a 2 hour walk today and thought about all this but nothing seems to change it. I've lost all interest in video games now. Is there something wrong with me?

By the way, I really like your writing style and the words that you use, like in your message above.

If you aren't already into poetry, you might consider getting into it. I think that you would make a great poet!

I wouldn't be so quick to blurt out to her that you love her. Give it some time before you do that. Also, there's nothing wrong with you. All of us guys go through the same kinds of feelings concerning love when we are in our teens if we truly care about others.

Thanks a bunch, I think I will ask her asap

Please let us know how things go!

Well I talked to her about it and it felt pretty great. She told me she didn't feel the same way about me as I did for her, but just letting her know and now truly realizing her feels I can move on with my life. All the weight in my heart has disappeared and I can say that it feels pretty good. Thank you guys for all your help and advice.