I want to convert to Judaism, but telling my parents or even talking about questioning the New Testament is a sin in my house. I read the torah (using a flashlight at night) and I can't lie to them and sneak off to the local synagogue... I'm still young 17 and a freshman in college. How can I start a conversation or even suggest to them that I want to become Jewish without them killing me?

Can you get them together with you and a counsellor and discuss it that way ?

Wow! For a youthful person I want to praise you for considering a conversion. Remember that perhaps your parents grew up in a very conservative Christian view. You are almost of age when you will be out of high school and more than likely to start life out on your own. When that happens it's then that you should attend shul regularly to get a feel for the Jewish community and council with a rabbi. Do not cause strife with your parents. Love your parents, respect them and then once your on your own continue your curiosity into Judaism. This is how you can win them over in the long run and so that they respect your views in the future.:)


Bobby

Thanks for your help!
I want to do what I think is right while still respecting my parents. I do not want to lie to them, though I feel like that's exactly what I'm doing by thinking about converting.

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Originally Posted by Gernald

I want to convert to Judaism, but telling my parents or even talking about questioning the New Testament is a sin in my house. I read the torah (using a flashlight at night) and I can't lie to them and sneak off to the local synagogue... I'm still young 17 and a freshman in college. How can I start a conversation or even suggest to them that I want to become Jewish without them killing me?

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I think that it is great that you are concerned about what your parents would think. However, I think religion is a very personal thing, and if you want to convert, that they should respect your wishes.

I'm not a very religious person (at least as far as attending church), but I do believe that a person should follow what they believe in, as long as it doesn't hurt the well being of others.

If someone were to tell me that they don't believe what I believe in, it honestly doesn't bother me. Life is too short and too many wars have been started about religion for conflicting reasons.

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Originally Posted by Gernald

Thanks for your help!
I want to do what I think is right while still respecting my parents. I do not want to lie to them, though I feel like that's exactly what I'm doing by thinking about converting.

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My suggestion would be for you to do a comparative religious study and then show your parents why you choose whichever religion you chose with facts and your views and the religions views and show them how it makes sense to you.
Who knows maybe you will understand the religion you choose better yourself after a comparative study and at the same time prepare yourself for facing your parents with a comparison so that they will not really have much to say against your choices.

It is wonderful to know that you wish your parents good even when your religious views don't agree with theirs, sometimes we see so many cutting off family ties in the name of religion when religion itself commands you to respect parents (the monotheistic religions surely do as far as I know... )

Part of any faith is being true and honest to that faith and to yourself so tellyour parents asap and then you will be able to be truer to your chosen faith I wish uluck on your journey to the spiritual path you have chosen

Hello hettie:

Well, I would start peppering my languague with Oy vey's, and schlep around, and let's have a nosh. You could even tell them some Jewish jokes. They'll get the message. If they ask what's going on, you could say that you're converting for the food. Or, you could say that you're converting for the jokes. Jews are much funnier than Christians.

excon

You should explain to your parents why you're choosing Judaism over Christianity as a personal form of worshiping the Lord. But make sure that you try and not offend the Christian beliefs in the process of doing this. So, be as diplomatic as you can.
I think if religion functions as it truly is meant to, it would still remind both you and your parents that you are to love each other despite these differences. This is because the most important thing religion teaches us is to "love" one another. Good luck.

If you are 17 and in college, I will ask, are they paying for your college, and will this choice make them stop paying for it?

I would normally say, that since you are in college you should be old enough to make your own choices and I believe you should not be a "closet" anything, but be honest and true to yourself in all things.

Yea they're paying for most of my college- at least my dad is. I've got a few scholarships but not enough to cover my entire education.
I'd tell my mom but she'd tell my dad and then the whole family would know... it would go down hill from there.
It's odd you know- I never thought of myself as a closet convert, but you're right.
Should talk to my family's pastor? I've thought about it before but maybe if I talked to him first then my family would be a bit more uhhh 'supportive'
Thanks again everyone for your help!

Hello again, Gernald:

Have you heard about JAP's - Jewish American Princesses? Do you know what they make for dinner? Reservations.

excon

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Originally Posted by excon

Hello again, Gernald:

Have you heard about JAP's - Jewish American Princesses? Do you know what they make for dinner? Reservations.

excon

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Sorry... don't get it. :-)

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Originally Posted by Gernald

Yea they're paying for most of my college- at least my dad is. I've got a few scholarships but not enough to cover my entire education.
I'd tell my mom but she'd tell my dad and then the whole family would know....it would go down hill from there.
It's odd you know- I never thought of myself as a closet convert, but you're right.
Should talk to my family's pastor? I've thought about it before but maybe if I talked to him first then my family would be a bit more uhhh 'supportive'
Thanks again everyone for your help!

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As a firmbeliever in my religion I trust my Creator to show me the path to the rightful way in any given situation,
Maybe you should do a little prayer to the Almighty and pray for guidance, you might see a way without losing your education or even better you might find a way to practice your beliefs and still get an education.
If you have faith then pray and ask for guidance to the light and right path to following your belief.

Just opinion...

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Originally Posted by Gernald

I want to become Jewish without them killing me?

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If they are good Christian parents they would not 'kill'

With all due respect, I'm not sure if you are ready to convert -- this requires such an extensive and complete life and lifestyle change that at age 17 you may not be ready for it. If you truly wish to pursue Judaism, then keep studying -- reading the "Torah" under the covers is not a kind of learning which gives you a real sense of what Judaism is. When you are able to choose your surroundings, find a place with a Jewish community and start to understand what kind of changes will be expected of you. Conversion under the proper auspices requires study, testing, meetings and often, 2-3 years of constant work. Maybe right now isn't the right time for it.

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Originally Posted by rosends

With all due respect, I'm not sure if you are ready to convert -- this requires such an extensive and complete life and lifestyle change that at age 17 you may not be ready for it. If you truly wish to pursue Judaism, then keep studying -- readin the "Torah" under the covers is not a kind of learning which gives you a real sense of what Judaism is. When you are able to choose your surroundings, find a place iwth a Jewish community and start to understand what kind of changes will be expected of you. Conversion under the proper auspices requires study, testing, meetings and often, 2-3 years of constant work. Maybe right now isn't the right time for it.

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I've considered this, this is going to sound stupid but I've thought about this for a while (since I was in the 8th grade) I understand fully that it is a big lifestyle change. I just want to be able to talk to a rabbi with my parents support, not convert right away. You're right it needs some time, but my concience is killing me.

Oh and whoever said my parents wouldn't kill, that may be a bit of an exaduration but being disowned when your 17 is almost as bad.

You are at the age and period in your life when you have to separate yourself as an individual from your parents in order to be a healthy adult. That means experimenting with a different life experiences including religion.

It is really OK to have secrets from your parents... they don't need to know all your personal business... too intrusive! You have to continue developing your sexuality as well as how you feel about the questions such as what is the meaning of life(religion issues), political views, and so on.

Don't mention your explorations to your parents! You have to grow up and be an adult, stand on your own two feet with your own opinions, be a *separate individual*, a *healthy adult* soon.

Go on and live and grow and experience life and keep the gory details to yourself. :) No reason to upset your parents for nothing. *You* have to learn to separate, too!

Good Luck!

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Originally Posted by Gernald

I want to convert to Judaism, but telling my parents or even talking about questioning the New Testament is a sin in my house. I read the torah (using a flashlight at night) and I can't lie to them and sneak off to the local synagogue... I'm still young 17 and a freshman in college. How can I start a conversation or even suggest to them that I want to become Jewish without them killing me?

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I am having the same problem that you are and I am 50 years old! I come from a long line of die hard Christians that believe theirs is the only true religion. Anytime I talk religion with my mother and it even comes close to having an open mind and being a free thinker, she gets all serious and worried about my soul. She says I need to pray about these things and get back with the program. I could never mention my doubts to my father. He just couldn't grasp that at all. I'm sure all my grandparents are just turning over in their graves knowing that I don't buy all the christian beliefs.

This is not much help I know, but I do know where you are coming from. It will be much easier though when you are no longer under their roof.

I'm impressed with your individual thinking at such a young age. It took me many more years to have my own mind. Good luck to you!

Thanks! Your post couldn't have come at a better time.
It's been a while since a posted this message and so much has happened.
I'm in college away from home now and this Friday I hope to be going to my first service with one of my best friends!
We're actually both doing something kind of interesting that is helping me get a big picture view of all of the religons associated with Abraham (except for Islam... I really think my parents would masacre me if I went to one of there services and they find out. My friend really dosen't feel comfortable with that either though). Back to the point, we're ummm... "church hopping" as he put it. Every week we go to see a different sect or religon. It's so far been really enlightining and very interesting.

Thanks everyone for all your support... I haven't told my parents yet; but I think the time is coming soon.
:-)