I am having some severe emotional relationship issues right now. I have asked a question about it in the relationship thread, but was to embarrassed to mention this. Now with bed time approaching, I am scared that these thoughts of death and despair will return. I don't think I am suicidal, but I find myself wondering if anyone would even care if I was dead and wondering why I seem fated to repeat the same mistakes over and over in my relationships. I tend to hold on too tightly and end up suffocating the ones I love. Is there anything I can do to stop myself from having these thoughts about death and dying?

Never place yourself worth on what other people think of you. You are worth living because you are you.Love yourself first. Instead of lying there thinking about death. Think about what you can do tomorrow to make the day better. Get up if you must and write down a couple of things that you would like to do to bring you some enjoyment. It must envolve you and no one else. For instance fix your favorite food, see a movie that you like , go for a walk, watch birds, read a book, take a class, pay a bill, clean your room, write a list of all the things you like about yourself, plant a flower or vegetable. Instead of counting sheep, pretend like you have just won a million dollars llie there and day dream about how you would spend it. Just remember that you are in control of what you think and how you act. Have a good night

I too, think about death and dying from time-to-time. Sometimes it can be an obsession. I like the answer of bushg above. Try to think positively. There is so much more to life than relationships. There is YOUR LIFE and what you do with it.

It is a choice that you make.

If you are having continued thoughts about death and dying, then you may be suffering from depression that requires medication. The meds can help. I have been on ones that have been prescribed to me. Right now, I take St. John's Wort. It does work for me, and it is over-the-counter. If you do decide to try it, just be careful in how much you take, since it is not a regulated by a governmental agency. So, the actual dosage of what you get in any given bottle may have variations. I find that it tends to make me "aloof." But, it also tends to make me care less about the bad things in my life.

You have been honest and open in your other posts. Keep communicating. You will get through these problems. There will be an end to them and new beginnings in your life.

Life does go on and life will continue.

Think positive! Ever onward and ever upward!

Thanks guys. These are both very good answers. I have tried perscription anti-depressants in the past (Paxil) but did not like the way they made me feel. I felt too detached... almost robotic, but I think I will try the St John's Wort and definitely try some of bushg positive thinking ideas. Thanks guys.

Vinna,
I read your question you posted in the "relationship" section. I know how hard it can be going through a breakup, especially when you thought you would be with that person forever. I am going through the same thing you are (read my posts). However, after it started to take a toll on my physical health (I have an ulcer) I realized that I have to force myself to get over the situation. I agree with bushg about doing things that make you happy. Today I went out to the beach and watched a funny movie in the theater. I went to the gym and made myself dinner. Its nice spending time with yourself and it makes you realize that it feels good to have control of yourself. Don't get me wrong, I did cry a bit today but it gets easier as the days go on. I was on paxel too but I didn't like the side effects (dry skin and dry nose). I really wish you the best of luck and I know you can pull through this :) God Bless...

Some of the best Prophets of God, actually prayed to God to die.
Jonah and Elijah both prayed for God to take their lives because of all the stress.

But he did not, he gave them the strengh and the insight to deal with their problems. And I believe most of us would lie if we said at one time or another we did not feel the same way.

It is understanding that there are so many new things to come in life we will never know in the future, New relationships, new jobs, new places to live. So life only truly begines, when we often break the bonds of old ways and start anew.

Hello. I am here to tell you that it's exactly how I've felt in the past and even just recently. I don't know if you are any type of religious person, but here's what works for me. Although I've never been to the doctor to get diagnosed for depression, I have a strong belief that I suffer from it. Mine though I think it's been triggered by some things which happened to me in the past and by problems I have with my family.
So anyway, I understand very much how you feel. Perhaps you feel like no one really cares about you or something which is the way I've felt. But despite all of the conflicts life brings to you with your loved ones, know that there ARE people who do care for you. Know that whoever it was that you broke up with, no matter if it was good or bad, you actually made an impact in their life. I was going through a very tough emotional time in which I felt completely alone even though physically my family was around. No one seemed to understand or even care to understand the way I felt. I did also keep repeating the same mistakes which left a huge tear in my heart. There were also other things which deepened that feeling and I just couldn't find out why I felt the way I did. That led me to want to die. To the point that prayed to God to take my life because I couldn't bare it anymore. Night after night these thoughts would invade my mind and there was no one I trusted enough to disclose my feelings. But the same being to which I prayed to take my life, was the one in which I put my trust on. I talked to God in my own words telling him,(even though he already knew) what I felt and asked him pretty much begged him to help me understand what was going on with me. Then a little later I sort of lost hope again and went back to praying to him to take my life again. But instead of that, the next thing I noticed was that the answers kept coming at me. It was weird, but I'm very grateful, and at the same time ashamed that my trust in God ever waivered and know this... it is a sin to committ suicide and also to think or want to die. That means that you're not valuating the gift that he brought you. LIFE!
It is one of the greatest gifts that a person has. I mean lets say you gave someone a gift that you really wanted to give. That it meant a lot to you to give this gift... but what if the person didn't want it or didn't like it? Or didn't value it like you did? You would feel bad wouldn't you? So why not take your gift and run?
Ok enough of my chit chat. What I recommend is for you to not only take medicines or supplements or whatever it is.
I strongly do not believe it is enough to just take medications or herbs or things like that... I really think you need some counceling either with a friend or family member, or if you are religious, then anyone like a priest, pastor etc. Is an extremely good choice for any emotional or spiritual healing you might need. Or just to seek advice or find a soft place to land whenever you need it. My best wishes to you.

It is true that there needs to be a support system in place.

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Originally Posted by Vinna

I am having some severe emotional relationship issues right now. I have asked a question about it in the relationship thread, but was to embarrased to mention this. Now with bed time approaching, I am scared that these thoughts of death and despair will return. I don't think I am suicidal, but I find myself wondering if anyone would even care if I was dead and wondering why I seem fated to repeat the same mistakes over and over in my relationships. I tend to hold on too tightly and end up suffocating the ones I love. Is there anything I can do to stop myself from having these thoughts about death and dying?

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I sometimes think the same thing! Just remember that whatever you are worried about in the relationship will rear its ugly head eventually IF it happens, don't hold on to tight because if he/she is going to cheat or do something else then their just not worth your time and you will find out eventually! Your better then this! Remember that

Yo vinna I read your problem and what you need to do is forget about this guy he is in the past (he does not exist now) and try to think positive, think now that he's gone I don't have to worry about when he goes out drinking or I hope he does get electricuted by the bulb he's replacing. Forget about him and live life like you never met him

Or even better, live life like you met him, and then got over it and learnt from it and became a better person who will be better prepared for the future.

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Originally Posted by Vinna

I am having some severe emotional relationship issues right now. I have asked a question about it in the relationship thread, but was to embarrased to mention this. Now with bed time approaching, I am scared that these thoughts of death and despair will return. I don't think I am suicidal, but I find myself wondering if anyone would even care if I was dead and wondering why I seem fated to repeat the same mistakes over and over in my relationships. I tend to hold on too tightly and end up suffocating the ones I love. Is there anything I can do to stop myself from having these thoughts about death and dying?

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The thoughts of death and suicide are from without. They are not your thoughts. No person wants to die. So you must identify the source and counter-attack. Defend yourself by refusing to give in to the suggestion that "you could end this all..." It is a battle that few realize exists. A struggle for your very soul. If I died right now, my pain would end. No one would care. No one would attend whatever service there is for someone with no one. But that is okay. I cannot change that. But I refuse to reliquish my life, my soul to the enemy. When my time comes, the hole in the ground awaits. Until then, I FIGHT! I SURVIVE!