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-   -   Getting my child's father out of the picture (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=105240)

  • Jun 28, 2007, 08:40 PM
    mandac123
    Getting my child's father out of the picture
    Hi, I am a teenager mother of a 7 month old baby boy! During my pregnancy, my child's father wasn't around because I got pregnant, he told me to have an abortion, and his mother told me to put the child up for adoption, they were dead against having him come into the world. So our relationship ended because I wouldn't have an abortion.

    After my son was born, I was served with court papers, so he could be apart of my sons life. He never once contacted me, or asked me for anything. We went to court and both agreed on supervised vistations at my house for 2 hours every Wednesday. After seeing him at my house with my son, I know this isn't what he wants . I know in the end he will just hurt my child.

    When he is at my house, he doesn't interact with my son, talk to him , play with him or anything. He stares at him with a creepy look in his eyes! I don't know what to do. I dislike the father. He put me through hell. And he's told me and my friends that he doesn't care about the baby. But I can't prove it.

    I just want me baby to be happy. And he won't be happy with him.

    I've had many sleepless nights with the thought of losing my baby on weekends if it comes to that . I don't know what to do.

    How can I prove him to be an unfit father?
    How can I get him to sign over his rights?
    How can I get so he won't get him on weekends? Or visitations rights if possible
  • Jun 29, 2007, 12:09 AM
    tawnynkids
    You can't prove him unfit for that sweetie. Sorry. He is young and probably just doesn't have any idea what to do with the baby right now. Especially with you sitting there staring at him, watching his every move and just waiting for him to screw up. A good deal of grown men don't even know what to do with a baby. They usually don't come around to interacting with a child until they are, as men like to put it, "more fun". Maybe you should kindly help him to interact with your child. Show him what your child likes, how he likes to be talked to, held, played with. Not telling him what to do but helping him.

    Don't try to get him sign over rights. The courts won't allow it anyway. There have to be extreme circumstances for the Court to allow a termination of his rights to occur.

    You probably won't be able to avoid his getting more visitation over time. What you can do is tell the court your concerns and ask that he be ordered to attend a parenting skills course to learn how to be a better father. But it isn't likely from what you have said here that you will be able to get his visitation rights taken away.
  • Jun 7, 2009, 05:12 AM
    worriedmom16

    He's a jerk.. so if you don't want him in your sons' life your best bet would be a restraigning order if he tries something
  • Jun 7, 2009, 07:42 AM
    stinawords

    Tawny is right. You aren't going to get his visits stopped based on what you have just said, nor can you have his rights terminated period. If you are that concerned with how he looks at the child ask for another try to get someone else involved with the supervised visits (a professional like from social services or something) their testimoney can hold up in court if it really comes down to that. But honestly, Tawny is right (as I said) try to give it some time he may not even ask for more visitation if he isn't enjoying his time right now.
  • Jun 7, 2009, 12:25 PM
    cdad

    How old are the both of you ?
  • Jun 7, 2009, 08:51 PM
    stinawords

    They are each 16. So, that would explaine a little in this situation.
  • Sep 23, 2009, 10:30 AM
    mandabrianne
    Thanks everyone for your responses. I am now 20 years old, and he is 21, and my son will be three in a couple months. All my fighting paid off, my son hated him and refused to be around him during any of the visitations, when I would take him to his house to drop him off, the father couldn't handle him crying for his mother and would constantly give up, and if he did end up staying for the visitations I would be getting a whole call at least 2 hours early to pick him up. Or he would cancel the visitations altogether! It never went as far as every other weekend, or past 5 hours! And just recently a few months ago, his father signed off on all rights and legally can't have anything to do with my son.
  • Sep 23, 2009, 01:57 PM
    mrgarybennett
    I'm no leagal expert or anything, but it sounds like to me all your fighting was the reason he gave up. I don't know a lot, but every child needs a father, every child. What you see as a victory, I see I see as a tragedy.

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