Ask Me Help Desk - Will she come back?

My Name Is Parag Chavan.I Am Dec 76 Born.my Parents Passed Away 5 Years Ago.I Was Married To A South Indian Girl Named Rita But We Got Divorced, Reason I Had Loans On Me.I Used To Come Home Late.we Used To Stay On Rent.after Spending 27 Years In Your Own House. The Sudden Change Was Quite An Unpleasant Surprise.most Of The Time She Used To Be At Her Sisters Place Which Was Near To Our Rented House. I Used To Be Left Alone.we Spent Almost A Year But Not Together Always.one Day We Divorced.just Before Getting Divorced I Met A Girl Her Name Is Rekha. She Is A Ca. She Is 4 Years Elder To Me.I Love Her Madly.our Relationship Is 3 Years As Of Date.I Love Driving , Adventure Sports, Music... I Found A Lot Of Similarities In The Two Of Us Rekha And Me.we Started Meeting Frequently.she Too Had An Affair With A Married Man Who Used To Work In Her Office Their Relationship Lasted For 6 To 8 Months,is What I Learnt.he Was On The Verge Of Getting Divorced And All Set To Settle With Rekha.one Fine Day All Of A Sudden He Said He Wants Toget Back To His Wife And Dumped Rekha. She Said That She Was A Zombie For 3 To 4 Months. Her Office Boss And Her Friends Helped Her A Lot To Get Out Of It.she Threw Herself In Work.we Met Around This Time.our Outings Began. We Went To Ratnagiri For 3 Days. All By Ourselves.I Was In Love With This Girl Already.then Our Trips Went On Jawahar All By Ourselves.we Enjoyed A Lot.I Used To Sleep In My Tent And She Used To Be In The Room. On Our Trip To Ratnagiri We Were Driving Most Of The Time. I Had A Qualis I Had Removed The Back Seats And Prepared A Bed For Rekha To Sleep. She Didn't Sleep She Was On The Next Seat Throughout. One Day We Were Going To Shirdi And At Night She Kissed Me And All Of A Sudden She Said No This Is Wrong I Said No Reks I Love You And We Continued. We Were Lost. Next Morning I Found Her A Little Disturbed.there After This Relation Developed And Exchanges Of I Love You, Miss You Began... We Fell In Love... Our Trips Had No Bounds. She Used To Very Often Go To Places For Official Work I Used To Plan Accordingly And Be There Goa... Calcutta... we Saw So Many Movies... We Also Helped A Forest Officer... We Both Shelld To By A Cycle For His Daughter... We Used To Make Quite A Number Of Visits Monthly To Him Carrying Food, Clothes Etc She Used To Thank Me A Lot For This Part Of Her Life... We Also Used To Fight... And Like Cats And Dogs But We Used To Resolve... She Is Very Ambitious... Today She Is A Senior Manager Drawing 2 Lacks A Month. I Work In A Call Centre. I Earn Around A 30 Thousand With A Lot Of Liablities On Me... Around 15 Lacks... Rekha Was Helping Me Get Out Of It... She Helped Me With 25thousand One Lack 50thousand.. . 3rd Of June 2007 We Saw Shrek In The Morning... Eve 7.30 She Came To My Office And Said I Want To Break This Off... I Left My Office Immediately She Was Waiting Out Expecting I Would Defenately Leave. She Had Her Car I Had My Car... I Said Well Let’s Go To Your House And Tell It To Your Grandfather... She Said She Will Do That However I Reached Her Place And Was Waiting For Her To Speak It Out.and To My Surprise She Said It... I Was Shocked... She Said I Don't See This Working Once I Had Decided To Marry And Today I Don't Think This Can Work Out To

I am sorry that your both of your parents are already gone with you being still at such a young age.

When people want to be a part of each other's lives on a permanent basis, hopefully, each person knows and realizes that the other person is secure in being who they are. One of those ways that a person knows who they are, is that he or she is able to manage their finances in a responsible way.

A person who gets into a relationship knowing that himself or herself is going to be wanting and needing the financial assistance of the other person is already putting a burden on the other person that really shouldn't be there. This can make it very uncomfortable for the person on whom the burden is placed.

Your parents are not around anymore to help you out. A girlfriend cannot be a substitute for them. I think that you need to find a way to "stand on your own" without depending on others so much.

If you want to be secure in the relationship and want her to come back, I would try and find ways so that you won't be having to place such a burden on her so much.

You might think of it this way. If you were going to be buying a home to live in, would you want to buy one that had a lot of things wrong with it when you bought it? Owning a home is usually something that requires commitment for a number of years. Wouldn't you feel better if you owned one that needed some maintenance every so often, rather than all of the time?

She may want children. She might not be able to work then. Or, at least not as much. She might come back if you show that you are capable of supporting a family.

That is my opinion anyway, based upon the information that you have provided as well as my reading and understanding of it. Please feel free to correct me or to explain your situation some more.

Hopefully, others will come along and give their opinions and suggestions to you.

She might come back if you show that you are capable of supporting a family.

The last words exchanged were. She said... just lap it up... time will take care of everything... work hard... focus on your job... take decisions... whatever you do.. do it for yourself and not for me... I asked her... I will work hard and be a responsible man who can take care of will you come back... she said... don’t have conditions in life... you won't get everything in life... I am not going to come back I have thought over it a lot and then decided... nobody has brain washed me... Its my decision... we are very different... I don’t see this working out to be a successful marriage... its better that we break it now instead of having a lot of trouble and pain for so many people... in future. I asked her for the past three years when we spoke of kids... what was that/ for three years you were fine... I love... I miss you... what was that... was it infatuation... was it lust... what was it... she replied I don’t want to discuss it any more... I made several calls thereafter to understand what the core was reason... is there something that cannot be worked out.. Her reply remained the same... we are very different... life is not just adventure wildlife and movies... its much more... I said take your time you want to break take a break... Don’t see me... but at least be there... but she was firm with her decision... It's a break off... just forget it... you are only troubling yourself... move on... her dad feels for me... he said just let time pass you go to work everything will be fine... nobody from her house advised her that this is wrong what you did... she leaves early to office and returns late in night... its almost a month we haven’t met at all... I truly am dragging myself each day... the moment I am out of office... I actual kill myself with thoughts... its terrible...

Stop analyzing, her decision is made, move on with your life, everything happens for a reason, you both might be better off this way, you will find someone else

It sounds as if settling down and having a family might have become increasingly important to her over those three years you two were together. It also sounds as if she doesn't think you're a family man (yet), and judging from your username, I'd say she could be right (I could be mistaken, of course).

How did u type all your words with the first letter capitalized? Did u do it on purpose?
I guess it is cultural difference, she sees too much about money. Why do u still like her?
There is nothing wrong to have loan on yourself, she NEEDS TO MOVE ON!
Good luck!

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adventure_first disagrees: my question was will she come back?

No reason to disagree with woh, your post is very very hard to read as you apparently typed it in all caps.

We don't know if she will come back. Understand that we are not psychics here.

This is strictly a question and answer site, but it is not a psychic network.