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  • Jun 23, 2005, 09:48 AM
    peachy77
    Help, I'm desperate!!
    If someone could please help me, I'm feeling so desperate. On 5/30/05, my fiancé (7/31/78) and I (08/08/77) broke up. We met in October of 04, and became engaged on V-Day of this year. On our first date, I felt he was the 'one'. Never in my life did I feel I a connection the way I did with him. We had so much in common and everything just felt so right. Unfortunately we did have our problems, similar to the boy who cried wolf. Every time we had an issue we would break up instead of communicating and then get back together the next day. So, during one of our fights, I broke up with him, not thinking this was the end. This was our way of taking a few steps back, but this last time, he didn't want me back. The last time I talked to him, he said he was confused and doesn't know what he wants. That was last week and now he's avoiding my calls and won't see me. I don't understand how you can love someone and then completely shut them out. He's never treated me like this before, so I'm taking this pretty bad. Looking back, our relationship was pretty volatile. It was unhealthy and perhaps this is the break we needed to get out of that bad path. I'm honestly hoping this is a lesson he's teaching me and it's not the end. But it's been almost a month and I just don't know what to do anymore. Should I give up on him, knowing deep in my heart he's the one for me? Someone, please let me know if I'm hanging on to a lost cause. If it's truly over between us, I need to find the strength to move on. Thank all of you who read this.
  • Jul 5, 2005, 09:17 AM
    ranieri
    Peach77
    Ooohhhh!! Girl am I afraid of you and what you are thining about yourself.
    What makes you think you need to be taught a lesson?
    What makes you think he's worthy of teaching it?
    Yes a very volatile relationship, but nothing to base a relationship on. He has major issues with women. He doesn't like them or respect them. Hes treated every single one he's been with like this.
    He expects total devotion from you but don't you think for one minute that he's doing the same for you! He expects you to crawl and grovel over him. And you are pretty good at all the whining after him bull ####.
    He expects you to drop whatever it is you are doing and stand at attention, in wait for his latest demand. Ugh!
    There are no boundaries in the relationship. There is not one disrespectful thing that you two would not do to each other to prove your points. Abusive and borrring!
    Honey, did you forget you live in the USA? Where you are a free bird?
    Yes tats a whole new concept to you. These all encompassing,possesive men
    That you keep involving yourself with are not condusive to your needs at all.
    You miss all the drama, him keeping you up in the air all the time, yankin your chain big time. This stems from your background, that you were raised in. Ive got news for you, this man nor any other man on this planet is going to make it allll right for you. Take up space and cause you some aggravation ,yes.
    Because, you were born an independent. Meaning you don't need the male or female energy,as parents, to make it all right for you. For get what nosy neighbors or ill wishing family members or today's society said that you need. An independent person was usually born into a cercumstance where one or both parents weren't there for you like they should have been growing up. Either because of alcoholic, or left you illness, whatever their lousy reason. It means you can and will make it all right for yourself. These are the children who despite of terrible growing up circumstances still turn out all right.
    You are probably the black sheep of your family to. They try to make you feel worthless because of your life choices. But don't listen to them its more out of jealousy. They wish that they could move around like you and be so confident and have this exciting lifestyle where you are not tied down.
    Back to your man troubles. You were over him, during the relationship, before he decided to act stupider, you decided it was over, now you are crying over the spilled milk. Did you forget that this was only for fun no attachments. Nothing serious. Where the heck did the engagement thing come from. See that's how bad he's tricked you into thinking you need him.
    He knows you were starting to pull away so mr.playa decided to turn the tables. Instead of him worrying about wher you were at. He decided to make you crazy, this is a payback from a woman that hurt him long ago way before
    You. HIS mother! He hates her and has never gotten over what she did to him. And he is still waiting for her to come and wipe his big butt and make it all better. And this will never happen,she done moved on over him.
    Peachy 77 it will take years of therapy to make him feel better about all of this. And I don't see him thinking its necessary in the first place. He acts as if its his personal birthright to abuse women where ever he goes, waitresses you name them, he's got nothing good to say.
    He literally laid in wait for about 2-3 months to do this to you.
    You are so beautiful. Inside and out don't let this aw
    Ful pig steal yourself worth away. Hes controlling you and you are not even with him anymore. Go get a new dress,go get your toenails done professionally and go where the people are that appreciate you for you and ROCK ON girlfriend!! Peace ranieri

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