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Hi everyone, haven't been on in a while, hope every one is good...
I have a question, I think I know the answer to it, but I'm having a really bad 2 days for some reason.
Do you think it is worth calling someone(ex) to tell them what you feel about a situation? Kind of get it off your chest?. say all the things you couldn't before? Or would that just hold you back longer? I'm venting and I'm a little depressed today so to hear some logical advice would help soooo much. Thanks in advance..
What good would that do? Would or could it cause problems? How long have you 2 been apart?
You are depressed today. Let's say you do go through with this... You have a good day tomorrow. Would you be embarrassed about what you did, what you said?
No contact is always the best rule, you know that, LOL.
Why not start a diary/journal if you haven't already. Use this as your means of communication. Write what you would want to say over the phone.
Journals are very therapeutic, they can help you through the tough times without anyone knowing whether you would have placed your size 7 in your mouth, LOL.
Hi lol.. thanks for your answer, its been an on an off thing for a long time. I was doing great until a month ago, then let him talk me into talking again, only to be told he has issues and doesn't know what he wants. So I was just like fine, whatever... can't be bothered anymore with the game... it does get easier that way.
But what gets me sooo mad is the fact that he has such disrespect for me as a person, I just so bad want to tell him what I think of him as a person... not even a boyfriend or husband. Now that I wrote that it does sound kind of stupid... but even if it was a friend I would want to... but I will not do it... he will think or know he gets to me... right?? lol thanks again
Hello.
Telling the person might not help the situation but venting will. Write him/her a long letter telling him/her everything good and bad. Lay it all out then burn the letter.
Honestly, this does no good... if someone doesn't talk, won't talk anyway after you've told... such people are cowards who have no courage to talk things out. And they have some personal issues I guess... no normal person would play games... take easy.. and think that person is dead...
Quote:
Originally Posted by diya
Thanks everyone... I know all aof you are so right... but is telling someone off the wrong thing to do? Venting to friends and family is awesome, but what about letting that person know how you feel? I'm not doing it just wondering why its so bad to do?? I would tell everyone not to, but tday I'm in the one needing the advice... lol... when people play games with you for so long I feel the ending should be telling them off... tomorow I will be more logical... thanks all
The simple answer is no.
You thanksQuote:
Originally Posted by Jesushelper76
By telling them off, you're letting them know that you're weak when you think about them. It makes them stand on a stronger pedestal than you are...
Quote:
Originally Posted by diya
Thank you for that answer just the things I need to hear... yr so right.cant wait for this to pass... ; )
The things that didn't kill you will mae you stronger! So If I were you, I won't call him!
Be strong please! Remember that everyone is fighting for their lives, no one is easy. U'll be fine after couple days I promise! Be strong!
Thank u for taking the time to answer... it helps a lot.Quote:
Originally Posted by nicespringgirl
Hello Hair, I wouldn't because you would be making him stronger and makes you look weak. Just remember what we talked about yesterday.
Don't call ex. Concentrate on other things such as your life! Getting one where your happy alone. When you get to that stage your more powerful than ever :)
Personally, I think it is important to complete the past in order to move on into the future.
My advice is to write down what is bothering you about your past relationship and what you want your ex to know. If you find that it makes you upset or angry, don't call. Write him a letter instead, expressing how you feel in a calm and mature manner without putting blame on him.
No contact is needed to clear your head. Once time has passed you will see things easier. Time is key, you will feel much better with NC and concentrating on your own life. There is no telling what the future holds, you may get back with you ex, you may have a friend in your ex but its important to get rid of any confusion you have right now by NC!
I understand how you feel because I was going through the same thing. My ex and I ended on bad terms and I never got any closure. I think an important question you have to ask yourself is, "What is calling her going to accomplish, and will it make me feel better?" Chances are it will reopen a wound that is still fairly fresh. Another thing to consider is whether he/she will care what you have to say; it is never good to cast your pearls before swine. Your ex may listen to what you have to say and be unaffected by it. I know it's difficult to resist contact, but I would let her go completely. And I don't know how your relationship ended, but if it was on bad terms, or if your ex did something to hurt you (lying, cheating, etc.), then that person isn't worth your time.
Let him stew in his own juice, and go get your nails done, or something that makes YOU feel good. See the post "letters to my ex" by Allheart if you really must write him, it's a great sight.
Thanks everyone... well, I have to admit I did leave him a voice mail today letting him know a few things I needed to say. I do feel better.
I will start the no contact today. He probably laughed at it anyway, but that's OK, I felt I needed to do it.
I hate this feeling of sadness, it sucks. I haven't felt it for a while... oh well I know it gets better. Thanks again every 1...
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