I'm a first time pool owner and I'm going through the pains of dealing with a poorly maintained pool deck... the wood is in decent condition (stable), but its splintering really bad and was grey. I followed someone else's advice and power washed the deck to try to clean it up... it got rid of the gray, but the splinters are still really bad... its not large splinters, but lots and lots of little ones. I tried sanding it down, but I would have to sand down literally 1/8th of an inch to get it smooth again...

Does anyone have any advice on how to attack this? I've heard of putting some kind of tile on top... or heavy paints that have to be redone every other year...

Sounds like your deck may be constructed with presure-treated pine planls - is that right? This kind of lumber can be quite bad in a sunny environment, like on a pool deck. It may not rot, but it curls and can splinter. You may want to consider replacement with a red wood deck - properly maintained it can last many years, and won't curl or splinter. My redwood deck is 21 years old, and going great.