I have gone to church since I can remember; it was something my parents did on Sundays (Sunday activity as my father called it). No matter what country or town we lived in there was always a church that would accept us. A few years ago I gave up on believing and caring about God. I know that sounds so horrible but it’s the truth, I married a man who believes but is too angry with god for taking his parents when he was only 8 years old. I have fought with my believes for years now, every time I would pray or would go to church something bad would happen the next day or even the same day. I know that sounds superstitious and all but it’s the truth.

A week ago I lost a baby do to miscarriage it was one of the worst things I have ever done through, and wish on no one that kind of pain. Through out this past week all I thought of was this saying that a lady told me, “That little baby of yours is an angel of gods and is needed some where else".
If that’s true why now why is he giving me a message through pain and hurt? I am lost in my own thoughts believes and self petty, I know I want to believe and commit 100% to god but how can I? How can I believe when in the past 4 years nothing had gone right to plan? What is my purpose on this earth will I ever know?

I am so sorry for your loss of your sweet baby. I don't think anything can be more painful. I believe that we have trials through life to teach us, not punish us. Through trials and pain we become more like Christ. Your pain and hurt is human. Have you ever heard the saying "without pain there is no joy?" Maybe all of those years were leading you to God. Satan is powerful too. If he can keep you from the truth he will. I find that so many Saturday nights are not restful and I may be tempted to sleep in. Usually the worst nights are followed by a really powerful message on Sunday. I think Satan knows that I need to be a at church so he tries to throw stumbling blocks in the way. Find a church family and just begin going. I think you will find that you will be welcomed and it may help your pain. Good luck to you. I know I have been blessed to have a wonderful life, not pain free but still wonderful. I recognize my many blessings. Many have come through church service. I pray that Heavenly Father blesses you with peace at this time of sorrow and leads you to find your purpose. I have my own ideas about our purpose on earth and will share them if like.

My sympathies for your loss and pain. If it helps any at all, you're not alone. In the past 7 years it doesn't seem like much has gone right for us as well. Our daughter was diagnosed with an incurable illness, my wife lost 2 jobs and was out of work for some 7 months, she lost her step-dad, then her mother, and has been through what seems like a never-ending series of health problems which have cost us much stress and tens of thousands of dollars - right after I made a commitment to get out of debt. She had neck surgery 2 1/2 months ago, and on her first day back was accused of rudeness toward a patient - which she isn't guilty of. Her 4th day back she was written up for that and two other petty things - after her boss told her she wouldn't write her up. Bad things happen to good people and good things happen to bad people - how can you explain it? I've been quite angry at God and I've told Him so, but I also realize that through it all He has been there and He has provided.

As the previous writer noted the Christian goes through suffering to teach us and make us more like Christ. I know it may not make sense, but it does and it prepares us for one of our purposes in life, reaching out to others. When you've 'been there' you know how to help someone else going through the same things, and it opens doors to witness and testify of how God was able to carry you through the struggle... and that's what it's all about, learning to trust and depend on God and in love helping others do the same. Hang in there, and don't give up on God.

Steve

Don't worry about the past, nothing you can do will change what happened before. Now if you believe in God and want to commit to him don't hesitate. God always comes on time and he never abandones some just. Trust in God, he has a plan for you and me and everyone else.

I'm truly sorry for your loss and I'm sure there is no pain like it. I have a few very strong and Godly women that I know that have been through a miscarriage and to this day it brings up tears in their eyes to talk about but I believe the way they would answer your question, the way I know they would answer your question is this: Satan has reign over the earth and all that's within it because of sin and though God's grace is to forgive sin and of course God is greater than Satan could ever be if you aren't in the practice of repenting, worshipping, and fellowshipping with your sisters and brothers in Christ satan can do almost anything. Of course there is the other answer everyone has given which is not wrong by any means, good things happen to bad people and bad things happen to good people, I'd suggest you read the book of Job and Psalms. Listen and read with a watchful heart, you'll notice the pain in their writings but they never quit on God no matter what and were rewarded :) From what you've written I'd guess you're baby was needed in heaven for some reason perhaps to watch over you and how you can help others realize just how precious their children are? Parents take for granted their children when they're teens especially. Repent and worship God for who he is and watch things change I'm not saying it's going to be easy by any means but you'll reap the benefits of so much more than you could ever think or imagine. God bless and I'll keep you in my prayers!