Ask Me Help Desk - Six days later we are working things out.

Quote:

Originally Posted by MissLady210

We broke up last wednesday and today, we met up to talk. He said he missed me and would like to take a step back. We broke up because we constantly argued. I was wondering if anyone has experience breaking up and getting back together. Does it really work? How do you take a step back? We were together for 8 months and he purchased an engagement ring. so no more saying 'I love you?' no kissing? no sleeping over? I'm confused. I asked if we can date other people. he said "you can but I'm not." Help please!

Sounds like me and my ex. We argued a lot in our relationship and that was a major factor in why she kept breaking up with me. She is prone to have seziures and she can't get too stressed.

I think you need to get to the root of why you guys have frequent arguments. Frequent arguing can be a sign of one or more of the following:

1. Falling interest level.
2. Incompatiability or one or both of you have changed in some way that is causing you two to grow apart.
3. There can be external factors such as stress related events from work, school, death in the family, mental illness, etc.
4. Lack of communication or poor communication. Communication not only involves being a good speaker but more importantly a good listener.

5. Wounded pride. Does one or both of you feel the need to win an argument for the sake of winning? This is ego driven.

6. Clinginess or neediness or jealously.

Arguing is almost always a symptom of deeper issues in the relationship including but not limited to the list I just gave.

You take a step back by taking things slower. Yes that means no sexual intimacy or spending the night together for at least 6 weeks. You have to treat this as a brand new relationship. You can't just dive right back in and pick up where you left off. Don't be too available. Continue to have interests in your life that do not invovle him. Remember what caused the breakup and learn from it.