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-   -   It keeps getting worse. (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=104627)

  • Jun 26, 2007, 07:36 PM
    aryn1984
    It keeps getting worse.
    I have already posted two questions and I took everything answer into consideration. All of them were very comforting and I am looking for that kind of advice again about the same situation. It has gotten worse.
    As of today I haven't seen my ex-boyfriend/father of my baby in almost two months. He doesn't try to contact me, he still ignores my phone calls and text messages, and hasn't helped me out in anyway during this time. I am now almost 7 months pregnant. There was one occasion when we talked. He was supposed to meet me somewhere with some of my belongings.
    I could tell over the phone immediately that he was drunk, again. For no reason he became very verbally and emotionally abusive. Calling me names and threatening me. His sister works for a lawyer in the city and he says that he has been talking to this lawyer and he KNOWS that I won't get full custody. He says he will get at least half custody. I said what about all your problems with drugs and alcohol and your past with the police and rehab and uncollected debts, etc.? He said non of that matters because his dad has money and as long as he has money, it doesn't matter how "bad" he may seem, he'll still get what he wants.
    I am very upset by this because I DON'T have money. My mom can help me with a lawyer but not an expensive one. I just recently have found a job that gives me decent hours and decent pay. All the money I make is going to this baby and our future.
    I have found out from friends that during these last 2 months, this guy has been partying and even went to a huge 3 day concert! How can he afford that when he always said that he didn't have any money to save for the baby?? How could he do that to me knowing that I am pregnant with his son? I just don't understand how someone can be so mean.
    I know that I don't want him alone with my son. Anything could happen and it scares me to death. I have nightmares about it and have become very depressed these last 2 months. What do I do?? What are his rights? Is what he says true?
  • Jun 27, 2007, 01:18 AM
    Bluerose
    To begin with stop worrying because it isn't good for your baby. He will not get custody. What you must do now is keep all records of phone calls abusive or otherwise, keep letters, receipts of anything you buy for your baby, as well as everything he buys for the baby or you. All this will show who has the baby's best interests at heart. Keep a journal of all the positive things you do for yourself and your child. Take care of yourself and your baby, keep your house clean, avoid alcohol and drugs. Plan to live a good and decent life and no one can take your child from you. Be prepared to allow him visitation right, but on your terms. An hour or two once or twice a week while the baby is an infant. More as the child gets older. And stay-overs only when you are satisfied that he will be sober and very capable of caring for the child.
  • Jun 27, 2007, 01:32 AM
    JCollins57
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by aryn1984
    I have already posted two questions and I took everything answer into consideration. All of them were very comforting and I am looking for that kind of advice again about the same situation. It has gotten worse.
    As of today I haven't seen my ex-boyfriend/father of my baby in almost two months. He doesn't try to contact me, he still ignores my phone calls and text messages, and hasn't helped me out in anyway during this time. I am now almost 7 months pregnant. There was one occasion when we talked. He was supposed to meet me somewhere with some of my belongings.
    I could tell over the phone immediately that he was drunk, again. For no reason he became very verbally and emotionally abusive. Calling me names and threatening me. His sister works for a lawyer in the city and he says that he has been talking to this lawyer and he KNOWS that I won't get full custody. He says he will get at least half custody. I said what about all your problems with drugs and alcohol and your past with the police and rehab and uncollected debts, etc.????? He said non of that matters because his dad has money and as long as he has money, it doesn't matter how "bad" he may seem, he'll still get what he wants.
    I am very upset by this because I DON'T have money. My mom can help me with a lawyer but not an expensive one. I just recently have found a job that gives me decent hours and decent pay. All the money I make is going to this baby and our future.
    I have found out from friends that during these last 2 months, this guy has been partying and even went to a huge 3 day concert! How can he afford that when he always said that he didn't have any money to save for the baby??? How could he do that to me knowing that I am pregnant with his son? I just don't understand how someone can be so mean.
    I know that I don't want him alone with my son. Anything could happen and it scares me to death. I have nightmares about it and have become very depressed these last 2 months. What do I do??? What are his rights? Is what he says true?

    What you need to do is gather the proof of what kind of person he is and save it for when and if you go to court. I use to be with a man like that and he kept threating to take the baby when it was born, but when we got to court I had all this evidence and he didn't even get visitation.
    Or if it is all that bad have you considered moving to someplace he doesn't know about before the baby is born that way they wouldn't be able to contact you for a court date. If you were never married then he really doesn't have much of a choice because when the baby is born if he is not there to sign the birth certificate his name will not go on it. Then to go to court he would have to spend a lot more money getting a paternity test to prove the child was his before he could even go to court.

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