Ask Me Help Desk - Fathers rights to take his son?

Hello I was wondering what rights my boyfriend has to just take his son away from the mother? She is very unfit and spends her time parting instead of spending quality time with her son. She is a very violent girl and threatens me constantly. The child is almost 3 and speaks less than our 1 and half year old. What are we able to do beside get a lawyer? The cost is more than we can afford... we are going to court now over child support and we are worried that the money will be used to support her and her friends drug habbits. So my question is what can he within the law to get him for visitation and just not give him back? He is on the birth cirtificate and they were never married. Any answers would be much help! Thanks

What would be in the best interest of the child? You need document everything about the mother, pictures, tape recording, witness, and file for custody.

If you get picture and witness if would be eaiser to determine what is best for the child.

SO if you go that way, your house most be in order also.

Being with us is the best interest of the child. Are we able to get him and just not give him back? We live in Tn and I am unaware of the laws regarding this. We just want to keeps his son safe we love him so much and we try to get him every weekend but that stopped when she found out that we had a lawyer for the child suppert. Hiring a lawyer for cousty rons around 4000-5000 dollars and we can't afford that. So can we just keep him and not give him back... there is no court set visitation.

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Originally Posted by klc739

Hello I was wondering what rights my boyfriend has to just take his son away from the mother? She is very unfit and spends her time parting instead of spending quality time with her son. She is a very violent girl and threatens me constantly. The child is almost 3 and speaks less than our 1 and half year old. What are we able to do beside get a lawyer? The cost is more than we can afford... we are going to court now over child support and we are worried that the money will be used to support her and her friends drug habbits. So my question is what can he within the law to get him for visitation and just not give him back? He is on the birth cirtificate and they were never married. any answers would be much help! Thanks

He can't simply take the child legally, even without a court order they will look at who the child has been living with for three years and that would be the presumed custodial parent.

He needs a court order. He can try to petition for full custody without an attorney, but I wouldn't advise it. Check with your state or county's legal aid department for a low cost attorney. Perhaps you can ask his child support attorney how much to add a suit for custody into your case, since he's already working on it? That way he would get the child support instead of paying it.

You could, also, contact CPS about the drug abuse and neglect if you have evidence of such.

Well, I agree you cannot just legally "take your son" this is called "kidnapping" and you could lose your son and your freedom among other things.

I certainly would advise seeking paternal rights "without an attorney". Yes, without one. There are Free Legal Aid Advisors across the country that can assist with advice on how to employ the process on your own. Check in your area for a Family Division usually located within the state government.

First, if you were never married to the mother, I would make the first step to have the child legitimized. Most states give no rights to boyfriends unless the legitimation has taken place. That is confirm through DNA that you are the father.
Don't worry about the money, this will impede your progress tremendously. Don't Worry and take one step at a time.Payment installments can be made for this procedure. I know a guy who pays $70 per month towards his DNA test performed at $400 plus dollars. This works for him.

Secondly, Once paternity is established you can file a petition for custody and/or visitation rights. Get the mother into court. The petition will state your claim against her. She must defend the claim(s). Again, cost can be null and void for this procedure. You must file for a "pauper's affidavit" which states that you can not afford to pay---a judge must approve this affidavit. Once, signed the filing fees for the custody/visitation petition are waived. Some courts will subsequently make the defendant incur the costs if found to be liable.

Thirdly, the mother must be served and your petion must be filed correctly, notarized etc with a "rule nisi" which will grant you a future court date. This action will open a valid case for your claim. Yet, you may have to appear several times to court prior to a ruling. The judge will order appropriate behaviors etc. from the mother and father. Document all occurrences, but be fair. Do not lie, karma will come back to haunt you. If you are honest in your claim, then you have every right to justify it and follow through for the sake of your son and yourself.

Hope this helps.
Tomy M. Hall, MS