The day he left for Britain, I smiled him to say goodbye. After he was gone, I cried many nights when I though of him. I seem always late and blunt when I was in front of him. My sadness arises when his eyes could not see my face. Seeing his car far away from me gradually, I knew he was the one I love. But I don't want him to know all of that. I want him to be happy. I am worried when I know he worries about me. I don't believe he thought I made him happy because I was afraid when I thought he liked other girls. From a beginning, I know we would have an end.
He said he didn't understand me. I know that. If he understands all my sadness and worrying, this life would be perfect for me.
Dogs could not lose weight for worrying because he could not miss someone; People could become thin because they miss and concern someone. I would like to become a miserable dog in missing him.

I think the best thing you can do is make yourself happy. That doesn't mean break up with him, but it means that once you feel you're a whole person, you will bring love into your life.

Your question/concern seems to be, if he knew I was miserable, worrying, crying, etc. would it change things? No, I don't think so. He knows you're the jealous type, he worries about you, etc. I have a good feeling that he knows you're hooked on him. Smiling at his car as it diappears in the distance told him what he needs to know.

I'm a big believer in not chasing men. If he loves you and is into you, he'll let it be known with emails/texts/calls.

But my main concern for you is that this man is the center of your universe. And you may or may not be the center of his. Do some things you love every single day. Do at least one! Start making yourself happy. You cannot count on a soulmate to do that for you. It's unfair to that person and too much pressure. You're going to attract a dangerous type of boyfriend if he wants a broken woman.

Good luck!