Two men were boasting to each other about their old army
Days. "Why, my outfit was so well drilled," declared one, "that
when they presented arms all you could hear was slap, slap,
click."
"Very good," conceded the other, "but when my company
presented arms you'd just hear slap, slap, jingle."
"What was the jingle?" asked the first.
"Oh," replied the other off hand, "just our medals."
______________________________________________
A marine general, an army general and a navy admiral were
Discussing who had the toughest men. The army general says, "Alright,
I'll prove the army has the toughest men in the country. Private, get over
here!"
The private reports as ordered, "Yes sir?"
The general says, "See that man over there? Kill him!"
Without hesitating, the private kills the man.
The general says, "See? That man has balls!"
The marine general says, That's nothing. Private, get over here!"
The marine private reports, "Yes, sir?"
The marine general says, "See that man over there? Kill him and
Then kill yourself."
Without blinking, the marine private pulls out his M-16 and blows
away the guy, then turns the rifle on himself and unloads several rounds.
The marine general says, "See? Now that man has balls!"
The admiral says, "That's nothing."
He calls to a seaman high up on a tower, "Hey, seaman, jump off
That tower!"
The seaman answers, "Excuse me, sir?"
The admiral repeats, "JUMP OFF THAT TOWER!"
The seaman replies, "%#$@ you, sir!"
The admiral says, "See? That man has balls and he's got brains
Too!"
__________________________________________________ ________
There's a guy from ARMY driving from West Point to the Meadowlands, a guy from the NAVY was
driving from Annapolis to the Meadowlands, and an Air Force guy who's driving from McGwire in
South Jerz to the Meadowlands just to watch the Jets.
In the middle of the night with no other cars on the road they hit each other and all cars go
flying off in different directions. The squid manages to climb out of his car and survey the
damage. He looks at his twisted car and says, "Man, I am really lucky to be alive!" Likewise
the ARMY guy scrambles out of his car and looks at his wreckage. The Air Force guy just shakes
his head and says to himself, "I can't believe I survived this wreck!"
The NAVY guy walks over to the ARMY and Air Force guys and says, "Hey guys, I think this is a
Sign from God that we should put away our petty differences and live as friends instead of
Arch rivals." The ARMY guy thinks for a moment and says, "You know, you're absolutely right!
We should be friends."
The Air Force guy says "Let me see what else survived this wreck." So he pops open his trunk
and finds a full unopened bottle of Jack Daniels.
He says to the NAVY and Army guys, "I think this is another sign from God that we should toast
To our new found understanding and friendship." The Swabbie says, "You're right!" and he grabs
the bottle and starts sucking down Jack Daniels. After putting away nearly a third of the
bottle the Squid hands it to the ARMY guy and says, "Your turn! The ARMY guy sucks down a third
And hands the bottle back to the Air Force guy.
The Air Force guy puts the cap back on the bottle and says, "I think I'll wait for the cops to
show up."
