Ask Me Help Desk

Ask Me Help Desk (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forum.php)
-   Relationships (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forumdisplay.php?f=277)
-   -   Broke up with girlfriend,but she wants to do the friends with benafits thing. (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=103097)

  • Jun 21, 2007, 06:11 AM
    UnwantedHero
    Broke up with girlfriend,but she wants to do the friends with benafits thing.
    Broke up with girlfriend 2 weeks ago,since then became very close friends(closer then when we were a couple)she said to me that she doesn't want to be treated any other way the friend that I can "do things with"which includes sleeping wirth her.Im not feeling funny or weird about her requests I'm more curious to know other peoples opinions before I give her my answer.I have spent time with her since the break up but it was nothing more then shopping and coffee.any advice or opinions towards this situation as she tells me that she wants me to help her with sexual urges.

    P.S. she broke it off with me and I don't feel resentment towards her.
  • Jun 21, 2007, 08:02 AM
    huno
    She wants the "friends with benefits" deal? Wow, that's a neat twist...

    Well, if you want it, then go for it. Just remember that you might become emotionally attached and, once she finds a new guy/BF to satisfy her sexual needs she'll drop you that same instant, leaving you without a GF or a sexual partner (unless you go look for one on the side).

    Keep that in mind, and do what you think is best.
  • Jun 21, 2007, 09:57 AM
    Jiser
    Don't think so pal. Cut her out of your life! That means blocking her from your IM, Myspace, Facebook, phone, email and anything else you can think of. Get to a place where your happy alone, where you can have fun, enjoy life, then someone will want to one day share it with you again.
  • Jun 21, 2007, 10:09 AM
    cute43male
    In my opinion she is giving you second class treatment... not first class. You should respect yourself enough to not do this. You should stand up to her, or she will respect you less.

    -------------------

    Manly qualities you should strive for: strength, discipline, courage, passion, persistence, integrity, sexual assertiveness, competitiveness, creativity, ego, thirst for experience, boisterousness, exhibitionism, and power.
  • Jun 21, 2007, 10:19 AM
    michealb
    If you can do it without the attachment and you think she can do it without attachment as well, go for it. As long as that's what you want.
  • Jun 21, 2007, 10:26 AM
    diya
    Friends with benefits is the most ridiculous framed statement I have heard of late... Hell what does it mean? IST : Leads you nowhere, 2nd: F***s your life like crazy... unless you're emotionally ready to handle this...
  • Jun 21, 2007, 10:38 AM
    Sdjosh
    You are going to have mixed feelings about this.

    On one side of the coin... you get to be with her again. You think in your head that by doing this you may get her back. That in some way you can fix this relationship

    On the other side... you are still going to keep that emotional attachment. You love her and you want to be with her and you can't separate that from this situation. You will put yourself in a position to get hurt again when she decides to start dating someone else again.

    Simple truth is that this is a bad idea. You can't move on with your life.


    One quick question... Why did you break up?
  • Jun 21, 2007, 10:44 AM
    Dennis777
    Hello

    As long as you understand that she is free to date / sleep with others also, if your OK with that then go for it.

    Many people find that when they are in a relationship they feel trapped but as friends they get along great and in many cases they don't play around with other people. Some people don't have the maturity to handle being in a relationship. Some people push and demand so much of a person from a relationship it smothers the other person.

    In the end it doesn't matter what the title is (relationship / friendship) as long as your both happy its cool.

    Good Luck
    Dennis777
  • Jun 21, 2007, 12:16 PM
    UnwantedHero
    Thanks for the advice everyone I've been giving it some thought and yea ill just tell her no.I think we work great as friends and I don't want too lose that.we have discussed dating other people and all that so there's no problems there that I'm aware of.

  • All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:59 AM.