Hello,
This is my first time using a site such as this so bare with me. I have been with my boyfriend for three years (living together for 8 months.) We are both in our late 20's.
We have never had a healthy sex life. I though when we moved in together in would improve but no such luck. Here's the thing: he smokes a decent amount of weed (like in the evening when we are watching TV) I am wondering if this could be the ONLY cause. I know he's in-love with me (tells me all the time), it's not his nature to cheat (but I can't rule it out) and he's not gay (I have asked several times). Last week we had a chat and I said that we need to at least try to do it once a week and he agreed. Since then I have tried three days in a row and have got turned down each time. I always kind of blamed the pot but at this point should start looking in other directions? I mean, if he's SO in love with me, regardless of the pot, he should still want to have sex AT LEAST once a week, right?

Advice would be highly appreciated from anyome who is in a similar situation.

Thanks!

Reefer will help wilt the willy. Its one of the side effects.

There have been studies which show pot has a negative effect on sex drive and the ability to have an erection. I have a friend who dated a guy years ago who smoked on a daily basis and he was often unable to satisfy her. She was begging for it, and he was unable to perform.

Chances are, the culprit is smoking pot. Is there a way you can encourage him to stop?

Hello Smokin:

I've been getting loaded for 35 years and still have plenty of lead in my pencil. Look for another reason.

excon

Believe it or not, it's a releif to hear people think that pot is the culprit as well. I would prefer pot to another woman or man! He has slowed down as we get older but he can't seem to give it up completely.

Thanks for your response:)

Dammit excon! You just totally rained on my parade!

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I've been getting loaded for 35 years and still have plenty of lead in my pencil. Look for another reason.

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Just because it hasn't affected you in that way doesn't mean it doesn't affect others... Or maybe his stuff is way, WAY better than yours! :)

Hello.

Don't rule out the pot or the reason he smokes it. Many people that smoke after work to relax are so laid back they don't want to do anything. No matter how much fun it is Sex takes energy and if he is in the all I want to do is relax mode then he is going to turn you down. Its not you I'm sure he would turn down almost anything that means moving around.

Try getting him excited in the morning or before he has a chance to get in his relaxing mood at night.

Sorry to say this but some people just don't enjoy Making Love. If he is one of them then nothing you do is going to change him.

Good Luck
Dennis777

in my opinion the pot has nothing to do about it. I know MANY people who smoke pot much much more then your boyfriend does and it has never effected them sexually in any way. My boyfriend smokes pot at random intervals all through out the day unless he is working and so do I. though I do suppose that it could effect others in ways that I have not seen. Though if he's a person who drinks a lot and often that can cause problems with him getting "it" up. His sex drive also may be lower then yours. Maybe you two need to sit and talk some more to try and figure out what's wrong.

My ex boyfriend and I smoked pot on a regular basis when we were together and he never had a problem with keeping it up and satisfying me. It almost seemed like he was more horny when he was high. I wouldn't completely blame weed on his problem.

Hello again, Smokin:

By my count, we got four prohibitionists and three loadies. Wow! I would have figured it more like 4 to 1. Let's hear it for the loadies!

excon

PS> What was the question?

I think pot can work both ways. If he's getting stoned every night then I can understand hisl loss of interest. But I think that on a Fri. or Sat. after a long week at work sparking one up together with maybe a bit of champagne could be the blueprint for some rockin' sex.

Well I smoke a little weed once in a while, I also drink approximately 6 to 10 beer, sometimes every night. I have sex with my girlfriend of 6 months every night and sometime 3 or 4 times a day. The we have only not had sex in 6 months is during her monthly. Oh wait a minute, she pleases me every night one way or another, if you get my meaning. I went from a relationship that I would be lucky if I got sex from my common law of 16 years, 3 times a year to multiple every day. Right now I am on top of the world with a relationship of being able to talk about everything. I personally believe communication is the key. Do things, go for walks, go fishing, do something and that may get "a rise out of him" OR , it could be a medical problem, stress or the feeling that he is inadequate. I would suggest as long as you continue to keep the communications open, talk about it. Maybe there is something outside the relationship that is bothering him and he doesn't know how to talk to you about it. That is just a suggestion. Good Luck

I agree with excon, I don't think you can blame it on pot alone. My husband would go longer and want it more often, but would crash after a session... lol. I think that it could have something to do with age, believe it or not, men hit sexual peak much earlier than women. It is really a shame it doesn't time out better, but while you are just entering into you sexual prime, he is on his way out. This could actaully be the culprit. Good luck to you!

Bi

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nx44 agrees: us canadians are ahead of you how?? *confused look* lol

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I think excon meant the legality of weed in Canada... compared to it being illegal in US

LOL.. oookkk I get it now LOL

You are correct

Though it isn't completely legal in this country. You still can get charged for handling and or selling big and moderate ammounts.