Im just having one of those days. All these mixed feelings. It was a hard week last week and this week seems to be going about the same so far.

My mom passed away last July and last week was her birthday.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/bereav...ou-101300.html

I never really dealt with it but this week I have really missed her. She was always willing to listen and help me with my problems. I could really use her help right now.

Im still thinking way too much about my relationship with my ex or friend or... whatever we are. Im starting to loose sleep again and I'm so tired. I know that may fears are born of fatigue and loneliness so I have to pull myself together. I keep way overthinking things.

I guess I just miss my mom so much and I miss Pamela so much.

I know this isn't really a question but I just wanted to talk... im bored at work.;)

I think you need a vacation. Clear your mind. Hell, who wouldn't enjoy a vaction?
:)

I could so use one. The last one I had was may last year with my ex... in Hawaii. Such a fun time. I wish I was there now sleeping on the beach with her beside me...


We had over a week there. I had this great hotel overlooking the beach with a private pool. I made sure to plan out the major stuff but we like to do things on the fly as far as daily activities. We had such a fun time.

We had a rental car so we drove all over the island. Even went down to the Bonzi Pipeline and slept on the beach. She never smiled so much. I had fun just walking around in flip flops and board shorts. I guess I was just happy to be there. The week before, a guy pulled out in front of me with his car. I hit him at 40 mph on my motorcycle and did a 360 over his car. I flew over 30 feet and landed on my back... almost in oncoming traffic. I was luck not to break anything but I had bad bone bruising and couldn't really use my left hand for 2 months.

I think somedays are harder than other because I want her in my life. Like I want to share my day with her... or when I go out and do things with my friends or on my own... a little piece of me wishes she was there to share it with me. This weekend I was at the beach and it was beautiful... I wish she could have shared that with me.

Go for a run!

Sorry to hear about your loss. My Dad passed away a few years ago and you really never do recover from it... just learn to deal with it. It is a hard thing to do...

Man... im so frustrated that I broke down in tears. I so irritated with myself. I know I'm stronger than this.

I was going to post something earlier today but I figured you were just bored at work... but I can see this really bothers you.

First off, my deepest condolences for your mother's passing. My mom and I are very close and I hate to think of my life without her.

That said, I think what you need is to build solid relationships that can help you cope with your problems. You mention that you had your mom to talk to, and perhaps you don't have someone to help you through it. Do you have close friends? If you don't, or you think you don't, you might try taking a chance on someone and find someone to help you out. You'd be surprised how supportive people can be if you give them a shot.

Well that's what I've got for now. Good luck.

Tears are healing , You love your mother enough to cry and greive over her and that is good. Her memory and spirit are still with you dear. Look at what a loving a faithful person, that she has helped put on this earth. Be proud of yourself. You know that she is gone, but in your heart and mind she lives. You know that she would not want her baby to be miserable, try and find joy in something each day. Talk to her, let little things remind you of her and try to be content with knowing how much she loved you. I know that you will always miss her, but the pain after a while will be more bearable. Speaking of your girl friend, Some day a woman will come along that is right for you, but in the meantime, find joy in the things you used to do and find new activities that fill your mind with hope. Try to rest, eat properly and exercise. This will help to rejuvenate your mind and body. Good luck, I hope that peace and contentment will soon find you.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Sdjosh

Man....im so frustrated that i broke down in tears. I so irritated with myself. I know im stronger than this.

---

We all break down at times. That shows you are strong and that you're human. It happens to all of us.
:)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Jiser

Go for a run!

---

I took your advice today and went for a run. I do feel better. But I knew I would. After my first girlfriend breakup... I ran 5 miles a day for over a month. It is amazing how much better you feel. I work out all my problems in my head... use the anger and hurt as fuel to push myself harder.

Thanks Jiser for reminding me.