So I have been dating someone for 9 months. He is 2 years younger than me.. but very mature for his age. He is an extremely nice person.. very sweet to me.. and makes me laugh more than anyone else can no matter what kind of mood I am in. I am in love with him and he is in love with me. Recently, we both have had mutual feelings of something missing in our relationship. We are still in love with each other.. but there is no fire.. no spark left. Something is missing and we don't know what it is. This just happened recently and we talked about it and would like to try to work it out.. try to fix things. He says he won't give up on me. What can I do to help this? What can we do as a couple to figure out what is missing? Help!
Thanks.
Leslie

Is it a sadness? What type of feelings do you feel have died out?

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Originally Posted by monkeetoo

So I have been dating someone for 9 months. He is 2 years younger than me.. but very mature for his age. He is an extremely nice person.. very sweet to me.. and makes me laugh more than anyone else can no matter what kind of mood I am in. I am in love with him and he is in love with me. Recently, we both have had mutual feelings of something missing in our relationship. We are still in love with each other.. but there is no fire.. no spark left. Something is missing and we don't know what it is. This just happened recently and we talked about it and would like to try to work it out.. try to fix things. He says he won't give up on me. What can I do to help this? What can we do as a couple to figure out what is missing? help!
thanks.
Leslie

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Do you both trust each other?

It's called getting used to each other. This is one reason why a lot of relationships fail. Relationships go through many stages and both of you have just entered another stage in your relationship. In your first stage, it was exciting and new and everything was just peachy as long as you are together. The key to staying together is to accept this new stage where you have to learn to truly care for each other and actually work at keeping your relationship fresh. Good luck... any nothing is missing! :)

After you are with someone for a while there is no more spark left, you already know much about him, all you can do to keep the relationship running is love and trust. If it's that bad and rust see couples therapy, or mabey even ask someone close to you who has been with someone for a long period.

OK... I have a question which I hope someone can answer... Ive been going out with a girl.. its only been two months.. but I've knowen her for over a year.. since I met her I was crazy about her and she was crazy about me but neither of us knew.. anyway now that I mgoing out with her for some reason I feel as if I don't want the relationship now.. I don't know why because I knew if I didn't have her I would be a state... when were togetheri ts so nice.. its really great but when were apart and she's not with me or I'm on my own.. all I can think about is "Do i really want this?" and I get really down and feel sad becausei don't want to hurt her.. shes the nicest and funniest person I know and can always cheer me up but why in gods name am I thinking these things :(? Ive never been cheated on and I trust her with my life... I haven't had a realationship for over two years before I met her

OK... I have a question which I hope someone can answer... Ive been going out with a girl.. its only been two months.. but I've knowen her for over a year.. since I met her I was crazy about her and she was crazy about me but neither of us knew.. anyway now that I mgoing out with her for some reason I feel as if I don't want the relationship now.. I don't know why because I knew if I didn't have her I would be a state... when were togetheri ts so nice.. its really great but when were apart and she's not with me or I'm on my own.. all I can think about is "Do i really want this?" and I get really down and feel sad becausei don't want to hurt her.. shes the nicest and funniest person I know and can always cheer me up but why in gods name am I thinking these things :(? Ive never been cheated on and I trust her with my life... I haven't had a realationship for over two years before I met her

OK... I have a question which I hope someone can answer... Ive been going out with a girl.. its only been two months.. but I've knowen her for over a year.. since I met her I was crazy about her and she was crazy about me but neither of us knew.. anyway now that I mgoing out with her for some reason I feel as if I don't want the relationship now.. I don't know why because I knew if I didn't have her I would be a state... when were togetheri ts so nice.. its really great but when were apart and she's not with me or I'm on my own.. all I can think about is "Do i really want this?" and I get really down and feel sad becausei don't want to hurt her.. shes the nicest and funniest person I know and can always cheer me up but why in gods name am I thinking these things :(? Ive never been cheated on and I trust her with my life... I haven't had a realationship for over two years before I met her

You guys are getting to comfortable and will whined up hurting each other. I Hate Love, but I can't live without mine. It's like a push and pull. You just must never give up on each other. Keep fighting and fighting until you actual get your relationship rolling right again. Been in your spot, I know it sux, can't stress that enough but I realized this and sucked up and kept rolling.

Good Luck, Live, Learn, Grow!