Ask Me Help Desk - Does She Still Love Me?

OK this is how it started.. my ex Girlfriend broke up with me because she said it's not the same after a 1yr and 6months.. I did the worst thing possible-called her and didn't giv her space, asked her questions and if she would ever get back with me? She told me I don't know so a week after that a girl kissed me as a joke which my ex girlfriend doesn't like.. the girl who kissed me told my ex girl friend's best friend and her best friend told my ex girlfriend.. I tried 2 explain myself but she didn't want 2 listen.. so I tried proving myself to her by getting someone who seen the girl kiss me to tell my ex girlfriend she kissed me and not the other way around.. so the girl told her that I didn't kiss her and my ex girlfriend's best friend couldn't mind her business and we got into it with words(me and her bestfriend) and that's when she didn't want 2 talk to me anymore. I called her 3 days after this happen and she (ex-girlfriend) told me she hates me and doesn't want 2 get back with me ever and that she doesn't LOVE ME ANYMORE so I didn't call her for another week then called her and asked her if she said that out of anger and she said no I do mean it but she says "i'll call you when i'm ready to be your friend"... so what I'm asking is... is she ever going 2 call me ? And are we ever going to get back together ? And if so, should I get back with her? Are these even the right questions to be asking? If I can't get back into a relationship with her, I want to at least be friends.. is that wrong? Am I just in the "what-if" stage of the breakup? Should I move on or continue to try with her? How do I go about this? I'm new to the break-up situation.. my first long term relationship-break-up.. help needed.. advice greatly appreciated.. =)

You're in a pretty crappy situation. I don't know if she'll ever call you/want to get back together, but if a joking kiss from a friend bothered her that much AFTER you broke up, she either has feelings for you or serious control issues! I say that in jest, but it's true. I'd say sit back and let her take control of the situation. If you're pestering her, she'll get annoyed and lose interest.

Hmm... sorry sweet but when a girl says 'I'll call you when I'm ready to be friends' - it usually means just that - and no, it doesn't sound like she loves you.

Harsh I know. Break-up's aren't easy - ever, and usually there is nothing but time that will make it better. You should try and keep busy though. Let go of the thought of you guys getting back together and if in time you think you can be friends then that is great - but space is best for the both of you by the sounds of things.

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Originally Posted by doesSheLoveme

ok this is how it started..my ex Girlfriend broke up with me because she said it's not the same after a 1yr and 6months..

That’s girl talk and translated it means that you’ve changed in some way.

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Originally Posted by doesSheLoveme

i did the worst thing possible-called her and didn't giv her space, asked her questions and if she would ever get back with me?

Yeah that was the worse thing you could do. Begging is never attractive.

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Originally Posted by doesSheLoveme

she told me i don't know so a week after that a girl kissed me as a joke which my ex girlfriend doesn't like..the girl who kissed me told my ex girl friend's bestfriend and her bestfriend told my ex girlfriend..i tried 2 explain myself but she didn't want 2 listen..

What exactly do you have to explain? She broke up with you. That means she gave you the freedom to kiss whoever you like.

This was your second mistake. If anything you should have been happy with these actions. You’re a desirable by somebody your ex doesn’t like. That means that the girl that kissed you is apparently smarter then your ex. There’s no explanation that you had to give.

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Originally Posted by doesSheLoveme

so i tried proving myself to her by getting someone who seen the girl kiss me to tell my ex girlfriend she kissed me and not the other way around..so the girl told her that i didn't kiss her and my ex girlfriend's best friend couldn't mind her business and we got into it with words(me and her bestfriend) and thats when she didn't want 2 talk 2 me anymore.

You had it great. You had a girl kiss you that your ex hates, and you instead begged somebody else to try and justify the fact that you are desirable. That’s exactly what I take from that, and I bet that’s exactly what your ex took from it as well.

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Originally Posted by doesSheLoveme

i called her 3 days after this happen and she (ex-girlfriend) told me she hates me and doesn't want 2 get back with me ever and that she doesn't LOVE ME ANYMORE so i didn't call her for another week then called her and asked her if she said dat out of anger and she said no i do mean it but she says "i'll call you when i'm ready to be your friend"

What are you doing? You have one girl who kisses you and you ignore (yes I know you were not interested) and another who treats you like crap and you try to justify the behavior she gives you and worse, try to justify being desirable. This is all backwards to what you should be doing.

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Originally Posted by doesSheLoveme

....so what i'm asking is ...is she ever going 2 call me ?

Yes. When she wants something and she knows that you will do it for her.

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Originally Posted by doesSheLoveme

and are we ever going to get back together ?

No.

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Originally Posted by doesSheLoveme

And if so, should I get back with her?

Seems like a lot of useless drama for your life.

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Originally Posted by doesSheLoveme

Are these even the right questions to be asking?

Yeah they are good questions. It’s better to have solid answers then to flounder around.

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Originally Posted by doesSheLoveme

If I can't get back into a relationship with her, I want to at least be friends.. is that wrong?

That’s up to you. But she certainly doesn’t treat you very well for a friend.

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Originally Posted by doesSheLoveme

Am I just in the "what-if" stage of the breakup? Should I move on or continue to try with her?

Move on.

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Originally Posted by doesSheLoveme

How do I go about this? I'm new to the break-up situation..my first long term relationship-break-up..help needed..advice greatly appreciated..=)

I'd recommend making a list of things that you want to do in the short term only. Hang that list up so that you see it when you go to sleep and when you wake up and start working on those things. The more you focus on those things the better you'll start to feel and less you'll think of the ex.

I also recommend that if you don't have a gym membership you get one. Working out is a great way to get out of the house but also make yourself feel better. Get on a elliptical or stairmaster and just go for 10 or 15 minutes. Get off and rest and then do it again for another 10 or 15 minutes. I promise you, you won't be thinking about anything else other than what your doing. Plus it's healthy for you. Even if you don't get a gym membership take a walk, and go for long ones if you have the time. It gets you out the house, clears you head, and makes is healthy for you. If you have something else you like that's physical do that. Anything that creates motion in your body is good for you.

Sorry, I don't always understand straight-couple politics. It seems like people who have been in staight relationships are pretty sure she's just being a B. Either way, don't keep trying with her, move on and if she wants to get back together, she'll call you (hopefully by that point you will have met someone new).

all i have to say is just give her some time & space. let her just think things out & she will come to you. if she doesnt in about 2 weeks. go up to her & tell her how you feel & if you could do anything to help the next relationship with her if you guys get back together

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Originally Posted by rockstar567

all i have to say is just give her some time & space. let her just think things out & she will come to you. if she doesnt in about 2 weeks. go up to her & tell her how you feel & if you could do anything to help the next relationship with her if you guys get back together

No let her be leave her alone... two weeks would be to0 soon for her even though it feels like a life time... this whole kiss thing was a better reason for her to break up with you it seems like it was already coming... leave her alone... give it a few months... and time start NC immediately

Leave her alone, and get used to the idea, your single and free, and don't have to deal with the drama or humiliation, any more. Leave her friends alone, and hang with your own friends, and enjoy your youth, and all the possibilities you missed, while you were hooked up. Do the things that make you happy, with the people you enjoy, and when she has time to be your friend and calls, politely tell her no thank you, and go about the new life you have built that doesn't include her. No telling who has there eye on you, that you never noticed before. Good Luck, and have fun.

Wow... I went through the same thing. I was with my ex for a year and a half... and she wanted a break after an argument, which we did a lot... After I gave her a week break she broke up. After a week and a half she found out that I took a girl to the mall... We spoke and she said she hates me, doesn't love me anymore and doesn't miss me. Well, it's been 2 months and a half now. I showed up at her house 3 weeks after the break up... She ended up hugging me and crying but still nothing. After a months and a half we met for a talk and became friends... After 2 months we met again and she cried and hugged me again and still nothing. Well now 2 and a half months have passed. Did any of that do me any good? Seeing her just kept false hope alive. Breaking up is the hardest thing to go through. You learn a lot about women during this time. It's also good that you are going through this now instead of later on in life. Plus you learn from the mistakes.

Ok... Don't think it's the end of the world although it feels that way. I know you think of all the good times and you miss her so much... As much as it hurts to hear this, there is usually another guy involved. But it doesn't matter anyway because you are broken up. I say it's a huge mistake to even want to get back with someone who just left you like nothing. Obviously she didn't love you the way you loved her. I'm sure you blame yourself for letting that incident with the girl kissing you take place, but don't blame yourself. Remember everything happens for a reason. I know how much you are hurting. Just know that this is suppose to happen after a break up and that you are suppose to feel this way. Cry a lot and grieve. It is necessary to move on. I'm glad you are letting it out and being open. It would be worse if you held it in, so be proud of yourself. You are taking the right steps. It may take about 2-3 months to get over this. I know it's like "wow, how could she do this so easily. She used to love me and blah blah blah...." It's how life is... Next time love carefully and slowly. As for now keep us updated on how you are doing and what's going on in your head. We are here to help and we care for your progress. She already knows you care and all so the ball is on her court now. It's up to her. You did your part. I'd say just move on and get happy by yourself. That way you won't need to be dependent of anyone. Loving someone without being dependent of them is the best way of living. Think about yourself for now and make yourself happy. In the end and always, remember you will only have yourself. Remember even though it doesn't seem like it now, you will fall in love again and because you went through this, it will be even better! Enjoy life and join the gym like I did. This week I'm focusing on my abs. I really want a six pack. Go shopping and just have fun with friends... But every other day come here and post your feelings and update. It helps the progress a lot and we give a little push too. I hope I've helped. Take care bro!

Don't worry if she is going to cal you or not. Most likely not. Just move on without her... Life gets better. Believe it.