Hi there I have a 4 month old and I am pregnant again my partner does not want it but I can't kill a baby we can't afford another one and we run our own business so I don't get to see him much ill be doing it all by myself. I haven't got any family as I grew up in care and his family won't agree with it as he already has 3 other children


Any advice I will be grateful for

Is adoption an option for you?

No I can't do that that will be worse than having an abortion

First of all I want to commend you on not wanting to abort your baby, I personally find that very honorable and noble on your part. Second of all, if you don't mind me asking, were you using any form of birth control, or not? If you weren't trying to prevent it, then in all reality, your partner has no right to be upset with the situation, as there was nothing done to prevent it, and its very easy to get pregnant again right away. As J9 asked, if you don't think you could afford another baby,would you be willing to put the baby up for adoption? Also, you might be surprised at how you can stretch your budget to accommodate your new circumstances. however, if its not possible, that's understandable as well. Also, don't worry about his familys opinion, as it isn't their choice, and they should have no say in the matter. Its his family, and other then offering advice, they should back off, and you shouldn't worry about what they say or think.

Baby number 2 really won't cost you that much more - you will already have all the baby supplies and clothes. If your partner didn't want anymore, he should have had a vasectomy. My brother actually got one around Father's day 5 years ago and said it was a present to himself! I'm sure your partner will come around, I bet he is just shocked at the sudden news.

I think she meant it would be worse on her emotionally, having a baby she never gets to see! Knowing it is growing up every day calling someone else mummy. I couldn't ever go through with an abortion, but I can definitely see where she is coming from!

Don't panic too much, I fell pregnant with my son when my daughter was 3 months old (and she was a very sick and poorly premature baby) My husband was having an affair with a 17 year old girl and he flipped when he found out I was pregnant again, told me he wanted nothing to do with the baby, told me to get rid of it (which I did contemplate rather briefly!) and even asked me who the father was! We stayed together but he didn't ackowldege the pregnancy until very late into it, I went to all the scans and appointments on my own, the pregnancy wasn't even mentioned in the house or around him. However, he was there when our son was born and he was smitten. The moment he set on eyes on him he loved him. He is probably just shocked, understandably so I guess, I bet you ae too! Try not to worry, if you want this baby have it. Even if he chose not to stand by you (which probably isn't likely, but I don't know your exact cirumstances) you can raise that child alone, its better than living with the guilt of not raising your baby at all. A second baby doesn't cost that much extra, make sure anything you buy for your 4 month old is fairly neutral coloured (highchairs and stuff, not necessarily clothes!) so you can re use for baby number two. Whereabouts do you live? If you are in the uk there are plenty of charites and things that can help, and tax credits are a real help.

I know that you said you could not so adoption, but I wanted to make you aware that there are open adoption. In our case, we have contact with our son's birthmother and family. We see her and her family once or twice a year. I also send pictures and notes to her from time to time. It's a great relationship and situation for us. It's not for everyone, I understand that. I just wanted to let you know that there are options out there... I wish you and your babies the best. Take care of yourself!

Your spot on I cannot give birth to my baby and give it away no way. I have spoke to him again and he really does not want another one I think my ony option is to split up with him ?

If you want this child and he can't handle it then yes splitting up will probably happen but he might decide as stated in the other advice to change his mind after the baby is born. After all it would be really hard to look at a child knowing that it was a part of you and not want it. I know that there are those out there who can do it but I am thinking that he will not be one of those people. Good luck.