We broke up last October and did no contact for about six weeks... then he would call or text... sometimes good and sometimes bad... then I went to his college to visit someone else and ended up having sex... he has been contacting me a lot and I am thrilled but not letting him know that... I still love him but am playing hard to get... got any ideas?

Just tell him you still love him.. or just have sex with him :)

Don't do what the other person said. That would be wrong and would get you know where. If he is contacting you that is great but let him chase you. Become the prize to him. He will keep coming after you if he wants you. But don't play stupid games if he is contacting you don't make stupid reasons up. What you can do is catch up but playing hard to get does not mean don't answer be stupid or do any crap things what it can mean is talk to him and let him no you still like him but your just not to sure what you want at the moment, make him know that there is an interest there but after what happened your unsure what you want to do now.

This way he knows your keen but he also leaves him wondering why you are not rushing back into things. Tke it slow don't have any sex tell him your waiting for the right person. You don't just give it up to anyone especially a guy who dumped on you!!

Remember don't be mean if you want him I would talk nice and you can even fklirt a little but don't go all the way leave him hanging for a bit he will be even more keen on you. Cause I tellyou now if you rush back he will just think he can walk on you when you like you must show him he can't do this...

You peaked his interest with sex, so do you think that's all he is looking for? Or all you want from him??

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Originally Posted by talaniman

You peaked his interest with sex, so do you think thats all he is looking for? Or all you want from him???

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No... the sex thing happened and I do not think that is all he wanted. I really believe he loves me. Before he went to college he hit and killed a litlle boy on a bicycle and I think that plays with his mind... I am not sure he is ready for a relationship but I am sure he loves me.

I went back and read your other threads and I believe that now is the time to talk and listen to each other. Don't know the distance involved but communication is needed to gauge where his head is. Go very slow and be a good listener. If he is drinking and mean he has a problem he needs to deal with on his own, and you cannot communicate under those circumstances.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

I went back and read your other threads and I believe that now is the time to talk and listen to each other. Don't know the distance involved but communication is needed to gauge where his head is. Go very slow and be a good listener. If he is drinking and mean he has a problem he needs to deal with on his own, and you cannot communicate under those circumstances.

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I am trying very hard... but I think in his own weird way he is too... you have been a big help... thank you, because I have felt communication was the key for a long time. He is no longer mean, and I really feel he has regrets... some times I feel like we should start with a clean slate... other times I think that it will all work out if I just be myself .

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Originally Posted by rexmaxvirus

Just tell him you still love him .. or just have sex with him :)

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I tell him I love him... but I will not have sex for the sake of sex... I'm not like that

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Originally Posted by mckenzie134

Dont do what the other person said. That would be wrong and would get you know where. if he is contacting you that is great but let him chase you. Become the prize to him. He will keep coming after you if he wants you. But dont play stupid games if he is contacting you dont make stupid reasons up. What you can do is catch up but playing hard to get does not mean dont answer be stupid or do any crap things what it can mean is talk to him and let him no you still like him but your just not to sure what you want at the moment, make him know that there is an interest there but after what happened your unsure what you want to do now.

This way he knows your keen but he also leaves him wondering why you are not rushing back into things. Tke it slow dont have any sex tell him your waiting for the right person. You dont just give it up to anyone especially a guy who dumped on you!!!!

Remember dont be mean if you want him i would talk nice and you can even fklirt a little but dont go all the way leave him hanging for a bit he will be even more keen on you. Cause i tellyou now if you rush back he will just think he can walk on you when you like you must show him he can't do this...

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I think your advice hit home... thank you... hope I can stay strong!

Lot of things happen in life and what happened earlier, does not mean it will happen again. People and circumstances change and we all grow with each passing phase of our lives... He may have changed too... So be nice and good to him but need not go overboard... just be normal.. that's it. Need not even talk about sex.. it's not meant to be discussed at early stages of startups...

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Originally Posted by diya

Lot of things happen in life and what happened earlier, does not mean it will happen again. people and circumstances change and we all grow with each passing phase of our lives....He may have changed too....So be nice and good to him but need not go overboard...just be normal..that's it. Need not even talk about sex..it's not meant to be discussed at early stages of startups...

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Thanks... and so far the topic of sex has not come up... we are spending time together and in a group... we'll have to wait and see... but that is the part I'm not so good at.

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Originally Posted by diya

Lot of things happen in life and what happened earlier, does not mean it will happen again. people and circumstances change and we all grow with each passing phase of our lives....He may have changed too....So be nice and good to him but need not go overboard...just be normal..that's it. Need not even talk about sex..it's not meant to be discussed at early stages of startups...

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Sex is not being discussed now... in fact we hang out mostly with a group and then sometimes alone... I will be patient and see where things go... at least I'll try to be patient!!

I know this may be hard but nothing works better than a couple of days space, is there somewhere you can go for a weekend or a couple of days away from him without contact. Don't br woried about losing him. I think this group hanging out is OK but at the moment I think his sitting on the fence nothing better than a few days away from him to give him a nudge and get him into gear. If you can give it a try disappear for a few days maybe visit relatives or somewhere you can just get away for a little to make him realise you won't always be there...