So I started dating a guy about a month ago and I let him know even before we started dating that I "used to be emo" (I used the word emo to make it seem less serious) and later let him know that I used to cut myself. I hadn't cut myself for a period of about 6 months and around the time that I graduated from high school I was feeling a lot of pressure from my family about the future and I just had to do it. When he saw the cuts on my thighs he told me that if he ever saw anymore he would do something a lot worse to himself. Well I just moved away from my home town and I'm going to college in a different city, with a whole semester jammed into a 5 week summer course and I'm dealing with a lot of family and social stuff right now. I couldn't stop myself from cutting last night. I'm afraid what he's going to do when he sees them.

I don't know what to do. Tell him or just let him discover them?
What do I say when he sees them?

I think on some level maybe you want him to see and share in your pain. That is normal to want those who care about you to understand what you are dealing with. Yes, it sounds like you are dealing with a lot and this is a way of managing all of those feelings. You feel very overwhelmed and the cutting gives a temporary release. It doesn't last and after words you feel embarrassed and guilty and worried of who will find out. I think you should open up to him about your problems first and see how helpful he is, then maybe you can share this with him too. YOu should find other ways to get through the stress and turmoil you are dealing with. Life is full of it and it is the way we embrace it and face it that helps us grow and learn and become who we really are. You seem bright and full of so much promise! Focus on your gifts and talents, keep a journal and write your thoughts down. Maybe you could share it with him down the road. Keep your heart open and don't shut people out. Don't isolate yourself and believe in the power of love. He may not be able to understand why you do it, but he may be strong enough to get through it with you. The next time you feel the urge to cut, write down everything, whether on here or on a sheet of paper. If he sees the cuts, tell him you have been dealing with a lot of issues and you fell back into a pattern of trying to dull the pain. You have not done it in a long time, so you should be proud of that, you had a relapse so to speak. Just try to be honest and don't worry what he thinks. If he is really a good guy who cares, he will find a way to be supportive , even if he is a little shocked and scared at first. Don't ever give up on yourself. YOu are worthy, and beautiful and I am sure you are loved!

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Originally Posted by csquared

So I started dating a guy about a month ago and I let him know even before we started dating that i "used to be emo" (I used the word emo to make it seem less serious) and later let him know that I used to cut myself. I hadn't cut myself for a period of about 6 months and around the time that I graduated from high school I was feeling alot of pressure from my family about the future and I just had to do it. When he saw the cuts on my thighs he told me that if he ever saw anymore he would do something alot worse to himself. Well I just moved away from my home town and I'm going to college in a different city, with a whole semester jammed into a 5 week summer course and I'm dealing with alot of family and social stuff right now. I couldn't stop myself from cutting last night. I'm afraid what he's going to do when he sees them.

I don't know what to do. Tell him or just let him discover them?
What do I say when he sees them?

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Tell him because it would be better coming from you then if you let him find out trust him enough t tell him