My daughter has just returned home from being away at college for the past 10 months. She has gained over 60 pounds and is doing terrible in school. Now that she is home she keeps her room messy, is unkempt and ignores most of what we ask of her. She is never verbally disrespectful, but just ignores our requests. She has a very serious boyfriend who we just adore. Her hygiene is also terrible. How can we make her sit up and start acting like an adult? Frankly I have had it with her. We sent her away to school hoping that she would grow up, but all we did was waste $37,000.

Make her get a job or get out ? Explain you are not a welfare agency.

You can not make her do anything, you can request her to be certain ways in her home or ask her to leave.

I agree, a job would force her to smarten up. But maybe there is a reason for the change. Maybe she is feeling hurt because you sent her away. There are many reasons she may have changed. Talk to her about it if you can. If that doesn't work, she gets a job or gets out. She has a boyfriend who will take care of her

Maybe she would listen to her boyfriend more than she would listen to you.

But I wonder, doesn't her boyfriend have any problems with her "ignorant" behaviour (how to call it?)?

I think she is just very lazy, am I right?